The Island Hates You (Yes, You), Thursday Period 2

[wrongkindofsith]

Magnus was basically bouncing about this class because he hadn't gotten to fight anything gelatinous since the very first adventure in the podcast. Oh, Jizz Cave, he sorta missed you.

"Hi and welcome back!"

Cara had questions about Magnus's narrative, questions she was pretty sure she didn't actually want answered. "It's not all robot bar fights in this place," she said. "Sometimes it's even stranger."

His canon also featured a talking elevator that wanted you to go into it's belly. So. Yeah. You made a good choice, Cara.

"Whaaaaaaaaaat?" Magnus said, putting his hands on his cheeks Kevin McCallister style. "Say it ain't so!"

"Hard to believe, I know," Cara said dryly. "Not just that, but there were times when students weren't trusted with anything more dangerous than safety scissors. At all." In case anyone felt being discreet about not keeping things in the weapons locker involved too much effort.

Magnus gave his ax a reassuring pat. And his lance. And his sword. Pats all around to let them know they were safe here. "Which sounds like a bad choice here, but I'm sure lessons were learned by all. Hence this class! Where we bribe the squirrels with alcohol to get all the good dirt on what happened in the past and then inflict it on you."

The brighter students could probably see the flaw in this plan, but Cara didn't care. With her own reassuring rest of a hand on one of her agiels, she continued "Today we bring you the true events of a harmless race interrupted by a truly dangerous foe." A wobbly, wobbly foe.

"I'd venture to say they're probably tasty foes too," Magnus said, tilting his head in deep thought. "Anyway, it's Jello Dragons. Which is pretty cool because the only dragons I've fought before now were in the live shows." He cleared his throat like that had never been said. "Let's kick their asses!"

How To Get By In A Hostile World, Thursday

[suitably_heroic]

A sheet of paper sat on every desk today; otherwise, the classroom was normal.

"So hey, we've got a lot of normal people in class this go around," Atton said easily, "That's good. Feels like I can actually offer you something useful. Most of you probably can't punch a hole into a wall or anything like that, which means you've got to be crafty. See, most types of people with powers - or just plain power - they think they're a smidgen more invincible than you are. They're wrong."

He waved a hand. "And when I'm talking about people with powers, I'm also talking about me. I'm what my universe likes to refer to as a 'Jedi Knight'. Beyond blah blah religious stuff and eat all your vegetables, what Jedi are famous for is having a connection to the universe that lets us do all kinds of weird stuff. One of the things we can do is read people's emotions, and sometimes even their thoughts. Most Jedi stack shield upon shield to make sure they don't do that all over the place, because it's really not as much fun as it sounds."

He gestured at his head.

"But some stuff always slips through, even in the most well-trained Jedi." Which wasn't something Atton could call himself, though years of experience had shaved off the edges compared to the last time he'd held this speech in front of a class. "This island hasn't been a stranger to people with similar mental powers, either. Some of them have more control than that, some of them less."

He pulled a face. "I don't know about you, but I don't like people poking around my head, which is why I try to avoid doing it from the other end. I mean, not that I'm philosophically opposed to being a hypocrite, I just think it's tacky. What the point is, is that before I got any of these magic powers, I taught myself techniques to keep people out of my head." He nodded at the paper on the nearest desk. "It's not as hard as it seems. You just have to be smart about it. See, most telepaths don't actually want to hear your thoughts. You're teenagers, it's probably full of filth. Lean into that. Walk into a room with a telepath with nothing in your head other than the fact you think you hear something whistling in the next room, and nothing in your heart but the thought that the telepath is looking pretty good in that skirt."

He waved a paper of his own around. "It's easy, because the basic idea is easy. It's hard, because it's easy to slip into thinking 'I have to think this or she'll know', and then hey, she knows. So I want you to practice today. Write down every inconsequential detail you can find in this class. Every emotion you could be feeling about something in this class, too. Then see where your head's at."