Oh the Humanity!: Friendship is International Adventure, Thursday, period 1

[vdistinctive]

The class had been handwavily notified this week to come dressed for a warm, wet hike. Pinkie, for one, was wearing a cliche bright yellow raincoat, hat, and galoshes. Eliot was more traditionally decked out in waterproof hiking boots and a lightweight, rain-proof jacket. They had extras in case any of the students didn't get the message or were otherwise ill-prepared.

"Guess what, everypony?" Pinkie enthused when everyone was gathered and properly attired. "This week we're going to one of the most exotic places on this whole planet!"

"Unless you're actually from a tropical rainforest," Eliot pointed out. "Then it ain't exotic at all."

"It's so neat that they've even got their very own division of disease research!"

"We've got bug spray," Eliot noted. "I don't want anyone coming home with zika. Or malaria." Malaria sucked ass.

"There are fish there that eat people!"

"Which is why we're not going in the water," Eliot said.

"And big hungry jungle cats!"

"Actually, jaguars are relatively small compared to lions or tigers."

"And adorable giant river otters!"

"That can take out the caymans."

"And man eating sloths!"

Eliot shook his head. "Ain't even a thing."

"Then why do they have such large claws?"

The portal opened up behind them, which was good because Eliot had no idea how to respond to that. Instead, he gestured for Pinkie to the lead the way into the jungle.

"We're meeting a professional guide there. I know we usually let you all have some free reign on these trips, but this time, I gotta ask y'all to not wander off. Pinkie ain't got a firm grasp on reality, but the Amazon is not a place to fuck around." He smiled despite his hard tone. "It's just also not one to be missed, if ya can help it."

Around The World in Sixteen Challenges, Thursday

[saddeserthermit]

Class would find themselves between large skyscrapers, near a bridge over the river. The skies were clear and the weather was... crisp. Crisp was a good word for it.

"Welcome to Chicago," Obi-Wan said, "One of the larger cities of the United States. It is sometimes called the Windy City, and it sits at the edge of a rather large lake." Beat. "Not that that is particularly relevant to us today."

"We will not make you swim the lake," Anakin agreed in a tone that seemed to imply that the students be grateful for this bit of charity. "Instead we will make sure you get proper exercise at a baseball park."

"When you have completed this task, we will venture from the city into the suburbs," Obi-Wan said, "Where you must seek out your final task together."

"It doesn't involve dancing," Anakin said with a small smile.

So prepare to eat, kids.

"Now please," said Obi-Wan, "We can't miss our ride to Wrigley Field..."

Defending Yourself Against Magic | Friday, period 2

[nuclear_snide]

"Right." The Danger Shop today was looking like a city street again, but this time the damage seemed to have already been done. There were simulated smoking holes in the simulated buildings, and simulated torn apart cars strewn around the streets. Bob strolled back and forth as he spoke.

"Not all defence happens before trouble starts. It's not like you defend, and then someone attacks, and you're done. Well, not unless you're in some sort of a regulated duel." And this was Defending Against Magic, not How To Duel. "And 'defence' doesn't mean just defending yourself, either."

Simulated people appeared around the city - standing and looking confused, running away, downed and bleeding.

"This battle is still going on. Who's attacking isn't important; you won't see them, and you won't be fighting them. You'll only see their damage. Your job is to help the rest of the people - to keep them and yourselves alive. Find ways to shield them from danger. Heal them. Remove them from the line of fire, if you can find where that is. Use what you've learned so far this semester, use your own powers, use whatever supplies you can find, use your terrain and your wits. Questions?"