Everything's a Weapon, Wednesday, Period 1

[raspberryturk]

Reno looked maybe a bit puzzled as he waited for students to file into the Danger Shop today.

You know. A tiny bit.

"So, we were supposed to go to Disneyland today. There was this whole thing with squeaky hammers we were gonna do, and it would've been awesome. But then I got to thinking that maybe an amusement park would be in shitty taste after, you know, what went on this weekend."

Which he'd managed to totally miss, and he was going to be sour about that forever, yes.

"But, and it figures this is gonna happen on the last class I have with you guys, the Danger Shop's bein' a bit of a shit. It's stuck on some kind of bumper car sim. And then I tried to load up one of the enemies I had planned for you, and... well..."

He hit a few buttons, and the bumper car arena shimmered into view. Frozen in place all around them were various monsters (and a few drunken bar patrons) that they'd already gone up against over the course of the semester. Gnomes, sahagins, coeurls, one big plush dragon who was carrying a bumper car away in its talons, looking like it would probably be back for more.

"Look, I don't even friggin' know. I don't have time to reprogram it now, so you might as well just... Whatever?"

Hop in a bumper car and mow over some monsters-of-the-week?

Meh, not Reno's problem.

[Open!]

Fun With Microwaves! Wednesday

[toteshammered.livejournal.com]

"Hello, everyone, and welcome to our final gathering," Thor greeted once everyone had arrived at the Danger Shop. "I thought it appropriate to save the best for last, as it were, and so today we are going to microwave strings of tiny light bulbs." Because the results were very sparkly. "I'm not sure saying 'I hope you learned something in this class' is entirely accurate, but I do hope that at least some of your curiosity has been satisfied with regards to objects that one should not normally place within a microwave, and I would be pleased to see any of you in my class this fall, as you have been a most excellent group."

Practical Philosophy [Wednesday, August 13, 2014]

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

"Right, so I got a message today from Ender telling me that my big test as a person or some karking thing was to teach this class today--" Cade announced, flopping onto the grass with the rest of the students, "--and that he's not showing up. He has weird, weird ideas sometimes, you know?"

He reached for the muffins he'd brought with him because he wasn't a complete waste of an instructor, right?

"Anyway, last weekend was karking weird and I ended up getting hugged and I'm not exactly a huggy guy. Other stuff--" he waggled his eyebrows, "--sure, but I'm not really huggy, you know? And it's weird that it worked, right? All you need is love or some karking thing."

He realized he was rambling a bit. "Anyway, I'm out of here in a week, so we're gonna play a philosophical game of 'let's tempt fate.' What's the stupidest way you can think of for a spell to be broken or whatever? Then we can take bets on how long it'll be before it karking happens here."

Very helpful, Cade. Really.

Customer Service and You [Wednesday, August 13, 2014]

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

Today Josh had sent his class an email telling them to meet him at Chilly Boulder.

"All right," he said, smiling from behind the counter, "sure hope none of you are lactose intolerant or allergic to milk because today's final class is about learning to build the most ridiculous sundae I have ever seen: the Skywalker. And Skippy here--" the worker next to Josh frowned because his name definitely wasn't Skippy, "--is going to show us how. It's basically one scoop of everything covered in all the toppings but rainbow spinkles, right?"

Definitely-not-Skippy nodded, then gave a demonstration on proper ice cream scooping technique before setting everyone up with a bucket serving bowl and setting them to work.

"After you've made your Skywalkers, you can try to eat them!" Josh said. "I'm not liable for the stomachache, though. Happy last part of summer."