That's Not What Happened: An Asgardian’s Guide to Norse Mythology [Thursday, Period Three]

[toteshammered.livejournal.com]

As the students entered the classroom, they'd see Thor standing at the front in full Asgardian armor. Yes, he did possess 'civilian' clothing, but as this was the commencement of classes, he felt the formal dress was required. "GREETINGS, MIDGARDIAN YOUNGSTERS!" Yeah, dozing off in this class would be difficult. Get used to the capslock. "...And those from other realms as well!" Thor added cheerfully, after a brief pause. "I am Thor, and I shall be your... I believe the term is 'professor' for the next seven weeks.

"I tried to make the class title as self-explanatory as possible, but for those who require further clarification..." he pointed to the whiteboard, upon which was sketched a drawing of Yggdrasil, with the various realms labelled. "I hail from a realm called Asgard. This world upon which we now stand is known to my people as Midgard. My race is long-lived compared to those who dwell here, so much so that certain of the ancient peoples of this realm began to regard us as gods, and as the tales of our exploits were told and retold, gradually they became what you would consider 'myths'. As you may imagine, not all of these tales remained fully faithful to the original, and that is what we shall be discussing within this class!" Thor grinned. "That is, the difference between the tale as recorded in Midgardian literature, and the true story as it happened to myself or someone I know!

"As this is the first class, I am given to understand that introductions are appropriate! So please recite your name, age, and a myth you are particularly fond of. It need not be a Norse myth, if you are unfamiliar! And if you do not know any myths," he shrugged. "That is of no matter! By the time this course is finished you shall know SEVERAL!"

After the introductions had finished, Thor spoke up once again: "And if you should require additional assistance, I have teaching assistants who would gladly offer that assistance! Darcy Lewis and Loki Laufeyson!" Yep. You've just been voluntold, you two. Enjoy that. And hey, he didn't even stumble awkwardly over Loki's last name.

Summer Vacation 101, Thursday, Period 1

[electrocynic]

The class had been handwavily told to meet up in the Danger Shop, much like they would most weeks from here on out. Hopefully their instructor would manage to look a little less tired in the coming weeks, though. She looked like she hadn't slept at all last night. And that was because she actually hadn't. She'd been back to England and it was hard to time your return right between two universes moving at different speeds. She'd aimed for last night but had only just gotten here.

Regardless, the Danger Shop was the interior of a train today, with views of the English countryside whirring past outside, and their teacher was actually in civilian clothes, slumped in a seat towards the front. "Right, this is Summer Vacation 101," she drawled once everyone was seated. "And I'm Electroclash, though I suppose as this isn't a cape class, you can call me Sarah. Or Professor, but I'll probably think you're taking the piss." Because she was so far from being a professor of any kind, and knew it. "Also I have a paper that says I have a grad TA called Cara, so I guess that's the other person vaguely in charge here."

Yes, Electroclash and Cara. Exactly the two people you wanted heading a class about having fun.

"As this is the first session and I'm tired as shit, it's your basic introductions time. Name, how familiar you are with the concept of a vacation ––" You could never be sure in this place. "–– and what you'd maybe like for us to do during this workshop. I make no promises about listening, though. Right, you, random kid, go first."

[ocd up!]

Practical Squiring, Thursday

[givehimahand.livejournal.com]

"The Others take this heat," Jaime said, digging at his collar with his left hand. So, perhaps full armor with the slightly less white thanks to Fandom cloak had not been the best of ideas. But, a man had to look the proper knight, did he not?

Not even the wonderful cool air they pumped into the buildings helped.

"Welcome," he said, louder now. "I am Ser Jaime Lannister of the King's Guard and I will be teaching you the duties of a squire. But first I would like to know your name and house--" He eyed a familiar sigil for a moment. "If you have one at all. I would also like to know why you have decided to take this class so that we don't waste time on those who lack the commitment necessary for the role."

There was a fair number of girls in the class, which made the corner of his mouth turn up into a grin. Oh, the wench would have loved this.

"Who will be first?"

Stephen Spielberg Presents History II: Raiders of the Lost Syllabus, Friday, Period 1

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

"Hellooooooooooooo, class! I know you were probably expecting a song and dance number, but the writers are under some time constraints. At best you'd get a lukewarm parody of Call Me Maybe, and nobody wants that," Yakko said.

"Anyway, I'm Yakko Warner, but I assume you know that by now. And if I assumed incorrectly, we're in the clear because I'm contractually unable to say what it makes you and me. I could probably get away with implying it, though."

"So, history. You want to know about I, I want to talk about it, and there's plenty more happening all the time. And with that in mind, I want you to look forward to what history you expect to make in the future. That's right, it's your last day of introductions, so let's go space aged with them! Name, class, where do you see yourself in ten years? And let's make this clear, history is weird. Guessing at future history better be even weirder! If at least one of you isn't married to a penguin in these future histories, I'm going to make everyone run laps, I don't care if it's not a gym class! And just to prove that I'm serious, let's take a look at that lap!"

Yakko reached behind his desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a scale model of the Lincoln Memorial. "Just look at how big that lap is! So get weird!"

"I'll start! I'm Yakko, and in 10 years, I'll be doing this!" Yakko grabbed his own tail, tied it around his finger, and pulled it up very high, lifting himself up off the ground, curled up into a ball held in the air by that lone hand, and started using himself as a yo-yo.

This blatant disregard for basic laws of physics and common sense went on for a solid forty seconds, as Yakko's balled up body spun toward the ground, then back to the suspended hand, then repeat, repeat, around the world, walk the dog, rock the baby, and finally ending with Yakko landing on his feet with no signs of any damage or dizziness.

"You don't need a demonstration."