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fandomhigh2012-07-05 11:26 pm
yakkoyaks.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-07-05 11:26 pm
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Stephen Spielberg Presents History II: Raiders of the Lost Syllabus, Friday, Period 1
"Hellooooooooooooo, class! I know you were probably expecting a song and dance number, but the writers are under some time constraints. At best you'd get a lukewarm parody of Call Me Maybe, and nobody wants that," Yakko said.
"Anyway, I'm Yakko Warner, but I assume you know that by now. And if I assumed incorrectly, we're in the clear because I'm contractually unable to say what it makes you and me. I could probably get away with implying it, though."
"So, history. You want to know about I, I want to talk about it, and there's plenty more happening all the time. And with that in mind, I want you to look forward to what history you expect to make in the future. That's right, it's your last day of introductions, so let's go space aged with them! Name, class, where do you see yourself in ten years? And let's make this clear, history is weird. Guessing at future history better be even weirder! If at least one of you isn't married to a penguin in these future histories, I'm going to make everyone run laps, I don't care if it's not a gym class! And just to prove that I'm serious, let's take a look at that lap!"
Yakko reached behind his desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a scale model of the Lincoln Memorial. "Just look at how big that lap is! So get weird!"
"I'll start! I'm Yakko, and in 10 years, I'll be doing this!" Yakko grabbed his own tail, tied it around his finger, and pulled it up very high, lifting himself up off the ground, curled up into a ball held in the air by that lone hand, and started using himself as a yo-yo.
This blatant disregard for basic laws of physics and common sense went on for a solid forty seconds, as Yakko's balled up body spun toward the ground, then back to the suspended hand, then repeat, repeat, around the world, walk the dog, rock the baby, and finally ending with Yakko landing on his feet with no signs of any damage or dizziness.
"You don't need a demonstration."
"Anyway, I'm Yakko Warner, but I assume you know that by now. And if I assumed incorrectly, we're in the clear because I'm contractually unable to say what it makes you and me. I could probably get away with implying it, though."
"So, history. You want to know about I, I want to talk about it, and there's plenty more happening all the time. And with that in mind, I want you to look forward to what history you expect to make in the future. That's right, it's your last day of introductions, so let's go space aged with them! Name, class, where do you see yourself in ten years? And let's make this clear, history is weird. Guessing at future history better be even weirder! If at least one of you isn't married to a penguin in these future histories, I'm going to make everyone run laps, I don't care if it's not a gym class! And just to prove that I'm serious, let's take a look at that lap!"
Yakko reached behind his desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a scale model of the Lincoln Memorial. "Just look at how big that lap is! So get weird!"
"I'll start! I'm Yakko, and in 10 years, I'll be doing this!" Yakko grabbed his own tail, tied it around his finger, and pulled it up very high, lifting himself up off the ground, curled up into a ball held in the air by that lone hand, and started using himself as a yo-yo.
This blatant disregard for basic laws of physics and common sense went on for a solid forty seconds, as Yakko's balled up body spun toward the ground, then back to the suspended hand, then repeat, repeat, around the world, walk the dog, rock the baby, and finally ending with Yakko landing on his feet with no signs of any damage or dizziness.
"You don't need a demonstration."
Sign In
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Listen to the Lecture
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One that he was going to spend staring.
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And yet she took this class.
She wasn't sure what this said about her, but it was probably something awesome.
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Sia thought she'd made a good decision and she was going to possibly have to threaten some office workers.
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Introductions
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"I'm Sparkle," he introduced, standing and crossing his arms over his chest. "And in ten years, I'll have found my fortune by selling rocket-powered racing moose to the Russians on the black market. I'll have exactly three and a half adopted kids, and I'll have converted the world's largest ball of twine into a comfortable summer home."
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"Weaving," Sparkle decided. "In ten years, I'll also be a world champion weaver." A beat. "For a minimal fee, I'll also weave doghouses and helicopters for the needy."
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"My name is... Liara T'Soni...?" Liara said. "In ten years I will be making my first steps into academia. That is all there is to it. I can't believe you are trying to be funny when you are supposed to provide us with education."
... Oh. Oh, Liara.
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Liara's brain was not designed with this particular application in mind.
"...Is this how they communicate in your species?" she settled on.
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There, she'd just saved you all running laps. Apparently literal laps.
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Hey, if she was allowed to make things up, might as well go big.
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Talk to Yakko
OOC