Ancient Food Crimes; Friday, First Period [07/15].

[somethingwithturquoise]

In addition to the usual cloches of mystery food waiting to be revealed in front of her, Summer also had a large amphora in front of her, a pitcher of....something, surrounded by glasses, and a pleased smile on her face. Now, whether or not you wanted to take that as a worrisome sort of thing was up to you.

"Morning, everyone," she started. "Glad to see the maggots didn't chase all of you off. I almost feel, after starting with a doozy like that, some of you are about to be disappointed with today," let's face it, Summer always felt people would be disappointed, "as we're definitely taking quite a few steps back from the edge with today's focus, going straight to the basics, essentially, and that's going to be with garum.

"Now, garum, a quote-unquote 'frequently misunderstood food, was a staple in the Ancient Mediterranean world and it's essentially a sauce made from fermented fish intestines that have been salted and sitting in the sun and in some brine for a considerable amount of time. This stuff was, like, ubiquitous, too, people would put this shit on everything like a condiment or mix it in with other dishes to enhance the flavor. The quality of the garum you used would definitely be a status symbol, although not everyone was down with pouring rotted fish gut juice all over their food. Seneca even described it as an 'expensive bloody mass of decayed fish' that'll definitely lead to 'consum[ing] the stomach with its salted putrefaction, and one anthropologist credits garum specifically with the spread of fish tapeworms throughout the ancient world, too, so even back then, it was causing a little bit of controversy.

"It's frequently compared to current, more contemporary Asian-style fish sauces, just less saltier and bit a funkier. You know, probably because of all the rotting fish guts, blood, and viscera. Some batches could sit for just a few days, some for up to a year. I've had this bad boy," she plopped a hand on the amphora, "sitting in a pocket dimension with an accelerated timeframe, so it's only been a week for us, but a month there. In general, the thinner the garum, the better it was considered, because it was mostly just the good stuff skimmed off the top while the thicker stuff was more dense with the gross stuff, and therefor less refined.

"Of course, I encourage everyone to sort of try the garum on its own and maybe speculate on what you'd use this with, if you'd want to use it at all. I have some meats and breads if you want to see how it works with something to carry it, and I've also whipped up some pear patina, because who doesn't want fermented fish sauce in their desserts? And also a pasta dish, because it guess it sort of works like an even smellier puttanesca.


"And, to wash it all down, we have posca, or at least, our best estimation of it, because the details on it are a little fuzzy. But, basically, it's vinegar water. And it was mostly considered a soldiers' drink to keep them marching. Odds are, the vinegar helped cover up any questionable elements of the water you were drinking and may have helped kill bacteria, as well as lead to a fuller-feeling stomach, so drink up, guys.

"And I should definitely start bringing mints for everyone after this class...."

Relationship Skills, Friday Period 3

[tellmehowstuffworks]

The alert amongst the workshop attendees might notice that they had half as much teacher this week. Spoiler alert: it was the mean one.

"Jaskier could not be with us this week, as he is monstrously hungover and-slash-or struggling to write his next quote-unquote 'masterpiece,'" Yennefer said, with finger quotes. "Possibly both. His voicemail was a bit vague, but he did," she would begrudgingly allow, "tell me. Which neatly ties in with the subject of the day: communication. Communication is the key to any healthy relationship. If the way your best beloved lets the dishes pile up in the sink drives you crazy, you have to tell them that so they'll know they need to do better, otherwise resentment will build up and eventually you'll just explode and have a giant, possibly relationship-ending fight. Over dishes you don't even have to haul water in from a well to wash. Or, if you tell them and they continue the behavior, that tells you something about them as well, doesn't it?" Yennefer paused for a moment, and then said in a surprisingly impassioned outburst, "Or, if you use a wish from a djinn to bind someone to you through destiny, you should really tell them that from the outset so that they're not left wondering if how they feel about you is real or magical manipulation years into your relationship, whilst standing on top of a mountain next to a dead dragon," Geralt.

She paused again, composed herself, and said, "So: communication. Several of you have indicated this is an area you struggle with. The internet offers several helpful tips about communication, one of the most common being to phrase things as 'I' statements about how the issue at hand impacts you, rather than 'you' accusations such as, 'You left the damn dishes in the sink again.' This is supposed to help the other party understand your point of view or...something like that." Yennefer had gotten bored at that point.

"We were going to pair you up to practice this, but wouldn't you know it, that was Jaskier's job, so instead I want you to think about an issue that you've had either in your current relationship or a previous one, and try framing it as an 'I' statement rather than centering it on the other party. Hmm? Let's begin."

Cupcakes, Friday 7/15, 2nd Period

[stykera]

Once again, cupcake class was meeting in the home ec room. Once again, Stark was waiting at the front of the room. Once again, there was a box sitting on the counter that the teacher was eyeing warily. Maybe it would be a perfectly normal box of ingredients like last week. Maybe that was just wishful thinking.

“Welcome back,” he said, looking around the room. “Today I’ve brought red ingredients for red cupcakes. Or pink ones, since sometimes the red turns pink when it’s mixed in. But it starts out as red and that counts. So…” he let his voice trail off as he looked to the box. “I suppose it’s best just to open this up and see what there is inside. I know what’s meant to be there but that doesn’t always mean anything around here.”

He took a deep breath and opened the box to start taking out ingredients. “I have Swedish Fish which are candy fish and the only acceptable sort of fish to put in a dessert.” Arguments could be possibly be made for pretzel goldfish crackers but not right now. “There are cinnamon candies as well. And I have raspberries and strawberries and cherries.” This was going well enough so far, and Stark was almost optimistic about the rest of the contents of the box. “More cherries, the kind from a jar, and some watermelon, and cranberries.”

“And, unfortunately, we have beets. And more beets. And we have tomato juice and cayenne pepper. And then there are more spicy peppers. Sometimes chocolate and spicy can go well together but these seem…too much. And look, there’s a bottle of hot sauce. Why is there hot sauce?” Stark asked nobody in particular. Not even Summer. He knew there wasn’t an answer.

“Is that everythi-oh no. It’s not everything. There’s also cough syrup. At least,” he said with a sigh as he picked up the box and tipped it over just to be certain, “that’s the end. And there wasn't any seafood.” Certainly not any fermented seafood, Summer.

“So. We have plenty of ingredients to choose from. Please don’t use the medicine.” Summer.

Beginning Sith Philosophy, Friday

[unusual_sith]

Lana waited for everyone to get in, leaning against the desk again. When they were all there, she nodded and began.

On the board was written: Through passion, I gain strength.


"Welcome back, everybody. Today we move on to the second line of the code. Last week we discussed peace versus passion, and most of you came down on the side of balancing the two. As you'll see, each line of the Sith code builds on the previous one. If the first line was largely about repudiating the Jedi code, the rest builds its own philosophy.

"For the Sith, this line is largely practical and literal. We use the Force, the life-force of the universe, and channel it with our emotions. Powerful emotions lend themselves to channeling more power. You can feel free to ignore the literal meaning, though - what do you think of this line? Do your passions make you stronger, or not? Let's discuss it."

Library - Friday

[onlyajones]

Jo had received a letter from her former head mistress, which she hadn’t been expecting to hear back from Miss Grayling at all and she was rather nervous about reading it - afraid of what she might say. For the time being the letter remained unopened and she kept it at the front desk while she went about her tasks that morning, occasionally looking back and debating on whether or not she should just stop and read it.

She was keeping herself as busy as she could organising and cleaning the library to delay from opening that letter as much as she could.