Swimming With the Fishes, Tuesday, period 1

[betterthanaplan]

Duke looked at the equipment provided for today's class. He looked up at the sky.

"Why do these things always happen to me?"

There was no answer forthcoming.

"Right," he said when the students gathered for class. He had a fairly permanent case of facepalm going on. "Today we're going to learn to swim using a monofin." The equipment provided was rather more than just the fins. Duke side-eyed it again and heaved a deep sigh. "Aka . . . mermaid swimming."

God dammit.

"Please don't mind the giant fucking crabs under the water. They probably won't bother you. As far as I can tell, they're too busy with those bongos to worry much about us."

So You Want to Be a Jedi?, Monday Period Two

[jedigrammarians]

There was an obstacle course set up in the park, and Aphra was looking exceedingly pleased with herself today. At least until she gasped and pointed to something at the end of the course.

"Oh no! Princess Emmentrude Fluffkins Shez'bop the Third has been kidnapped! If only there were some Jedi around to use their enhanced physical and mental abilities to rescue her!" She pulled out a chono. "While being timed!"

Chopped: Overstock Edition ; Tuesday, Second Period [07//28].

[somethingwithturquoise]

"Welcome back again to another exciting week of seeing just how terrible half of you are at cooking!" Summer started the class cheerfully. "By now, you know the drill, so we're just going to get right to it, and I'll just mention two things before we get to the exciting reveal of what you guys will have to cook with this week. The first is that I promise this time there is no tea. And the second?"

There was a dramatic pause.

"I've removed all the blenders from the kitchen this time around, because seriously, you guys? Smoothies? I expect better from you all. That said, let's begin!"

The Great Witcher Bake Off, Tuesday

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"Oh thank the gods, there's no oil," Jaskier said the very moment he was in the room. Fifteen minutes late, with coffee from the Perk.

"You're late," Yennefer, who had just arrived a few moments before, told him. "And you didn't bring me anything?" Rude, Jaskier. Very rude.

Jaskier clutched his coffee a little closer. It was his new favorite thing since the rum! Silver can be firmly blamed for that one. "Well, I didn't know you'd want anything."

Yennefer narrowed her eyes at him, as one in contemplation of turning a bard into an eel. Then she asked, "Well? What are we making this week. bard?"

Which was why Jaskier skittered around to the opposite side of the desk to check what was awaiting them. "An Opera cake? Haven't heard of that before."

Yennefer rolled her eyes. "Obviously it's a cake made of...operas." Perhaps it was a type of fruit? She peered over Jaskier's shoulder at the card and said, "Melitele's splendid tits, that's a lot of steps." Wasn't this class supposed to be an hour long? Oh, well. Time was a construct.

"We could... continue it next week?" Would the cake still be good? WHO KNEW? Certainly not your teachers.

"Right, so just...do what you can," Yennefer said, "and try not to set anything on fire." That was their job.