Ungulate Yoga, Tuesday, period 1

[betterthanaplan]

After spending pretty much all day yesterday in bed, after getting back from Ibiza, Duke was looking forward to a nice, ordinary day. Or, you know, as close to one as you could get in Fandom. So when he saw the zebras hanging out in the clearing for class, he didn't even blink.

"At least you all have hooves. Just try not to trample my students, alright?"

The zebras grazed idly, ignoring him.

"Let's get right to warming up please," Duke said when the students arrived. "Today we're going to try out some bound poses." He very specifically did not look at Danny if he was there when he said that. "A bound pose is any pose where your hands are connected, and you twist through your shoulders and torso. They require a fair amount of flexibility, so I don't want to see anyone pushing themselves too hard, here. You need a prop, you use it. I've got pillows, bolsters, blocks and straps up here. Remember: a good stretch means no sharp pains. If it hurts, stop."

One of the zebras came over to try to eat Duke's hair. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Also there are zebras. So . . . yeah."

At least he wasn't stoned this week.

How to Tame a Willful Wife; Tuesday, Second Period [05/26].

[somethingwithturquoise]

To say that Summer had 'dressed down' for class that day seemed like an understatement. Her usual get-up was, of course, very chic-cas, but today's lesson called for a visual statement to go along with the eventual rant, and she was wearing some incredibly well-worn but clearly comfortable sweatpants, a baggy t-shirt that had seen better days, her hair was in her usual pony-tail but not as neat, and she looked like she did not give two shits about her disheveled appearance, because she was making a point, and that point was....

"Keeping Up Appearances!" Summer announced, by way of greeting, gesturing toward the words written big on the board behind her. "Now that we're past the dating stage and presumately into happy matrimony, it's time to look at the expectations of a Well-Tamed Willful Wife based on different aspects of expectation, and today we're going to be focused on looks. Because, as a Willful Wife, one of your main jobs is literally to sit there and look pretty. You," the spite was just dripping on every word here, "are merely an extension of your husband's prestige, and, so help him, you'd better look the part! A disheveled or ugly or unfashionable wife is clearly unacceptable and will reflect poorly on your husband, and we can't have that, can we? Let's have a look, then, at some of the helpful advice from these totally legit manuals so that we can all ensure to be the perfect little accessory to your man's status, which, in case any of you are off your sarcasm radar today, are complete bullshit, B-T-Dubs."

And so now Summer turned to the board again, just long enough to point out each section scribbled there before launching into the appropriate tirade.

( Be the hot steak, not the cheap pork. )

"Now," she added, "before any of you," NIIIIINA, if she was threeeeere, "say anything, yes, it's nice and it's fun and it feels good to dress up and make yourself look pretty and, like, seriously, don't even @ me about fashion and make-up because I live for that shit, but the point isn't 'all fashion is patriarchy.' The point is 'all fashion done purely for the sake of impressing a man and/or trying to fit into a man's idea of what you should look like is patriarchy, and you should only be doing that for yourself.' And the whole goal is to be able to tell the difference."

And, with that, she turned to the class. "Thoughts?"

Because, really, she didn't have anything for this class except for ranting at them and then having them maybe, hopefully, rant back. Or possibly having to force Nina and Wayne into seperate seats at opposite sides of the room on occasion.

Storytelling and Song, Tuesday

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"Perhaps I have been remiss in explaining why it is we write songs," Jaskier said, gesturing broadly with both hands, fingers splayed out like ye olde jazz hands. "There are many reasons why a song is crafted. There is the obvious one that is entertainment for the masses and the subject of this class to convert history to record without needing to depend on books."

Which could be a rare commodity outside of the homes of the wealthy or the halls of universities.

"There is also music meant to help pass the time for a profession. Such as fishermen! Whilst stuck on the sea, songs can help keep a man from going mad. They also can bind a group together, something soldiers or, well, bandits may do. Though the difference between the two groups is remarkably slim these days..."

Jaskier paused, mouth turned down into a little moue of concentration before he shook that off. "So, let us discuss what other reasons we may have for music, shall we?"

Black Magic Cookery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | Tuesday | Period 3

[bookbeltof_love]

Nina was exhausted.

She'd made it back just in time for Summer's class and, like, that had left her not much time to work with her own class.

Ugh.

Sure, she could've skipped Summer's class but then she'd have felt bad about it and she enjoyed the ranting even if she was conflicted on the things Summer was ranting about…

On the bright side, there wasn't much to set up. No one else really seemed to be using this room, so it was a matter of sticking the spices at each station and checking the fridge to see what they were going to make today.

"Gooooooooooooooooood moooooooooooooorning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she said cheerfully, turning away from the fridge as her class showed up, with a bowlful of tomatoes and another of shellfish. Nina beamed at them as she wandered from station to station, leaving a few tomatoes and a few fish at each place. "Today we're branching off from eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She was already predicting a few comments on this day, oh yes she was.

Nina took her spot at the front of the class with the left over tomatoes and shellfish.

"I'm starving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she announced, grinning at them. "So, like, I want you to look at what I've given you and guess what we're making today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Were they likely to get it right?

Probably not. But that was part of the fun.