Oh the Humanity!: Friendship is International Adventure, Thursday, period 1

[locointhecoco]

"Hope you're all dressed warmly enough," Eliot said. "Unlike last week, we're headin' somewhere that understands the concept of winter."

"I tried to point out we didn't have to," Pinkie said. "We coulda gone to September! But noooooo, Eliot doesn't believe in time travel."

Eliot sighed. "I barely trust this company to land us in the same country we're requestin', pony. We ask to go back to September and it's just as likely we wind up in the 30 Years War."

"I don't know why you're so obsessed with wars all the time," Pinkie said, then turned back to the students and brightened. (She might, just possibly, maybe be regretting dragging Eliot of all people along on this class.) "Anywho! Today we're going to see a pretty pretty city! And I hear it might even be snowing there, exciting!"

"Not popcorn snow," Eliot clarified. "Actual snow. We're headin' to one of the shinin' jewels of central Europe, today: Prague."

"Ah, Praha," Pinkie sighed. "So full of historic and cultural sites, according to the internet. There's a bridge lorded over by creepy saints and a clock made out of stars and a hungry wall and a dancing house! And the king is a wax baby and he's guarded by a man made of mud and if you break a law, he'll have you thrown out a window! And someday an ancient dead guy will rise up out of the big hill and retake all of Bohemia!"

"Almost none of that is true," Eliot said, leading the way into the portal, which let out on bustling and snow dusted city square. "This is Wenceslas Square. If you recognize the name, sorry for the earworm. Wenceslas, or Václav, as they say in Czech, is the patron saint of the country, and a very popular name for Czech leaders. Think 'George' for the US. He's the guy some legends say sleeps under the hill and will come back to lead when the Czech Republic is threatened. Or that that statue --" he pointed to an enormous statue of a man riding a horse "-- will come to life and defend Prague. Considerin' all the wars that've been fought through here in the last thousand years, not to mention the communist occupation that resulted in tanks bein' driven through here. . . . Well. I'm gonna say it ain't likely."

"Ye of little faith," Pinkie chided. "There's tons to explore around here! A castle and a really old fort and fancy buildings and historic districts and even a zoo! And it's all soooo prettttty! I don't know how this place inspired so many depressing writers!"

"Yeah," Eliot said. "Literally just mentioned the wars and occupations. Luckily the place is stable just now. And actually has the highest employment rate in the EU. Anyway, we've got maps." He held up a handful of paper. "And there's a major tram stop just behind this Tesco over here for anyone who doesn't want to hike it. Meet us back here at the end of class to get the portal home."

Around the World in Sixteen Challenges

[sith_happened]

Today's class met outside the gates of a castle. The air smelled faintly of livestock. Is everyone worried yet?

"Welcome to Italy," Anakin said with a fiendish grin. "Today will be your first paired challenge. You will participate in the Palio della Tonna."

And no, he would not be translating what that meant. Neither would Obi-Wan, for that matter.

"After that, you may become acquainted with some of the traditional foods of the region," Obi-Wan said. "You will do this individually, and the final race will be an individual event as well. However, proper teamwork in the Palio della Tonna will be instrumental in giving you a good lead on your competitors, so please, try not to sabotage one another."

"Or hurt the livestock," Anakin added. "Master Unwin might be an excellent partner for this task, given his newly acquired detention expertise."

Did Obi-Wan just very loudly clear his throat? No, obviously not. "Finally, one will find us at the top of the Basilica," he said, "We will provide climbing gear, of course." Because Anakin was still entirely too obsessed with Laura's judgement. Sigh.