Outdoor Adventure Time!, part 2, Tuesday, period 1

[vdistinctive]

The class met at Portalocity again today. Eliot looked particularly thrilled this time around, which was a little bit odd; he was usually the calm, zen-like one in this class, not the one who looked like they were going to bounce out of their shoes.

Parker, on the other hand, looked a bit grumpy. “This is more Eliot’s thing. I’m staying at the petting zoo.” Pout.

"I promise it's still fun and exciting," Eliot said. He waved the class to follow and led them through the portal, into a large, sunny pasture. A barn stood at one end, with loads of little padlocks and pens arranged around it, filled with goats and sheep, rabbits, some piglets, a big shaggy cow, and even a llama. That'd be the petting zoo Parker was talking about. On the other end, the one Eliot was headed for, an older man was standing by the gate of a big outdoor riding ring, where several horses of various sizes and colors were tied. "This here is my friend Willie," Eliot introduced. "He trains race horses. And today, you're all gonna get to be jockeys."

“Horses aren’t as scary as I thought.” Parker’s expression was more like a mule’s. “But that isn’t saying much. I’ll be over here. Petting the crias. And feeding them stuff.” Yup. You’re not getting her any closer than that.

"Any of y'all feel the same as Parker, there's no shame. Go have fun with the goats and things." Willie smiled at the kids. "The rest of ya come on over and Eliot and I'll give you a run down on the horses. This is actually a general rescue farm, so we've got horses trained for racing, rodeo, dressage, and simple pleasure riding. Choose your poison."

"Not literally," Eliot promised, mostly talking to Parker. "Horses aren't poisonous."

“Just mean,” Parker said mutinously. “And huge. And sometimes they’ve been teased, and they’re even more mean.”

"This isn't a breeding facility," Willie said, giving her a confused look. "None of them've been teased."

"Just -- let her go pet the crias," Eliot said. "Everyone else, let's get riding!"

Adventuring!, Thursday, Period 3

[geniuswithasmartphone]

When the class stepped through the Danger Shop, they'd think they stepped into a...wardrobe mixed with an armory. On hangers and stands were various styles of armor, for both ladies and even a few for guys. Hey, he wasn't going to assume anything about the tastes of his students! The one thing no one would find was stereotypical underwear armor. Hardison didn't have time for all of sexist nonsense. Not in his classroom.

"Welcome back," Hardison greeted when his students entered. He was dressed appropriately. "A'ight, so I probably don't even have to give this lecture, cause either this won't apply to your life or it does an' so you probably already know better'n me, but weird things happen on this island, so I'mma just say this to be clear. This course is based on fantasy media, not fact. Everythin' we learn about, everythin' we cover, it comes from adventures that take place in folks' imaginations. Please don't take anythin' we learn here as anythin' other than fun an' games for summertime."

And that over with, he gestured to the costumes around him. "A'ight, so the adventurin' class we're studyin' today is Fighters. They're pretty much the most basic of all classes; they make up the backbone of most adventurin' parties. Fighters is a pretty broad umbrella term; there are a buncha different varieties of fighters to serve peoples's individual tastes. For the most part, though, they got a few basic things in common. They're usually tanks--that means that they wade in an' do serious damage. They usually ain't the fastest fighters--heavy weapons that do a lot of damage are pretty slow to swing. They also generally wear pretty heavy armor--thick hides, heavy leather, and strong metals, either as chainmail or plate. As a tank, you end up takin' a lot of hits as well an' you need to be able to keep goin' an' not end up skewered, sliced, or scored. A good set of armor can turn a blade an' leave you with bruises insteada stab wounds."

Important life advice, even if a lot of the armor was pretty impractical. Or, it would be if it were anywhere other than the Danger Shop.