Sexual Health ; Tuesday

[beyonce_pad_thai]

"We've spent a few weeks now talking about pregnancy," Mindy said. "Obviously, this topic isn't relevant for everyone, since not everyone wants to or is able to have children the old-fashioned way. However, people can still have kids without having reproductive sex, so this week we're going to do a project that focuses more on the aftereffects of childbirth." She beamed. "Babies."

Mindy pointed to a box at the front of the room. "You lucky students are each going to leave the classroom with a precious gift today, which is a battery-operated infant whom you'll be responsible for raising over the next seven days. You may not destroy it, pull out the battery, or otherwise get around it. And I know that for sure, because they have those annoying smartphone batteries that you need some kind of mechanical device to even remove."

The thing about this lecture was that she sounded really sweet even as she condemned the students to a week of child-rearing. It was a little confusing.

"Before you leave class today, I'd like you to name your babies and figure out a custody schedule with your partner or partners. You'll be responsible for feeding and changing these little guys on a regular basis and dealing with the crying. Also, the machine will take note of every time you use bad language in front of the baby, so try not to do that either. And they like being sung to sleep."

"Is consumption of the spawn permitted?" asked a voice from the back.

"What? Who asked that?" Mindy demanded. When no answer came, she frowned. "No, obviously. They're plastic, not chocolate. This isn't Easter."

{ OCD is up! soundbite taken with kind permission }

MORE QUESTING! Thursday, Period Four

[toteshammered.livejournal.com]

There was a note outside the Danger Shop today that read simply:

CLASS CANCELLED

Thor was nothing if not succinct when he wanted to be.

[ooc: I'm feeling super-gross and still have to crawl into work tonight, and my brain's got nothing for this class, so. Sorry guys =/.]

Plus We Have a Motorcade [Thursday, February 6, 2014]

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

Josh, trying to stay warm, was stamping his feet on the ground in front of a small fleet of limosines as the class gathered around him. "Welcome to the Secret Service training grounds," he said, giving the tall man with a mustache and serious expression a grin. "Thanks to Special Agent Ron Butterfield for letting us into their facility today. He's going to give you a quick history lesson about the Secret Service and what they do for Presidents and then he's going to let you guys try to drive the presidential motorcade."

"One of the training vehicles," Ron interrupted quickly. "No one gets to drive the real thing without a couple hundred hours logged behind the wheel of the trainers." He turned his full attention to the students, and if you got the imipression that he could give a full description of each of you to a sketch artist based on that glance, you were right. "We are the Secret Service," he began. "We are charged with the protection of the President, the Vice President and their families. We've been providing protection to US Presidents since 1901.We also provide protection for high level government officials visiting from other nations and help with security for national special security events: Olympics, Super Bowls, inaugurations. Now obviously everyone in the Secret Service is not on presidential detail, but if you're in Washington, DC, you're considered emergency back-up and as such need to pass your handgun qualifications monthly with a 90 percent bulls-eye percentage, just like everyone on PPO. If you fail two months in a row, you're out of the agency." He pointed at a building in the distance. "Our range is over there and we pride ourselves on being the absolute best at what we do. We are not just a protection agency, though: we were oriiginally part of the Treasury Department and we're still in charge of stopping counterfeit currency as well as credit card and identity theft. Josh tells me your school is fairly...ecclectic--" Josh had used the term "whackadoodle", which Ron didn't think was a dignified word choice for the head of the President's detail, "--but some of you might have the training and skills to become a member of the Secret Service. We're giving you three places to try out: Air Force One Half--where you will practice getting people into and out of an airplane without wiping out on the metal stairs--The Office Building, where you have to climb fifteen flights of stairs and clear each floor of potential assassins, and Crash and Bang, where you get to take one of these trainer limosines for a spin."

He gave Josh a final nod. "And you owe me big, Josh."

Josh grinned. "I always do. Right, kids. You can try one, two or all three of those options, but please remember that this is where they train people to aim at center mass and as Ron just told you, they don't miss. Don't screw around with their stuff. Oh, and if you see a Latino guy running past with a bunch of these guys, try not to stare. President Santos tends to jog here on Thursdays."