Adventures Through History, Thursday, period 2

[locointhecoco]

Students coming into the Danger Shop today would find it set up like a mad scientist's workshop, complete with buzzing tesla coils, a jacob's ladder, and strange looking amorphous bits floating in jars. Pinkie herself sat behind an old rolltop desk, wearing a giant white beard and poking her hoof at an extremely old telephone. A freestanding roll chart stood behind her.

"Welcome, everypony! Today's class will be an adventure indeed, filled with passion! Intrigue! Racing! And -- goats?!"

That last bit came out as a horrified squeal when the Danger Shop was suddenly invaded by a tribe of evil goats. They stormed through the door, knocking over equipment and floaty jar things with wild abandon, knocking poor Pinkie off her chair and gleefully eating her antique telephone and free standing roll chart.

It was all extremely terrible, especially considering how the roll chart had been full of fun facts about Alexander Graham Bell, like the fact that he came from a family of elocutionists and had become fascinated with sound transmission and communication in part thanks to his deaf mother and wife. Or the fact that he narrowly beat out Elisha Gray for the patent for the telephone, some said by nefarious means. Or how he went on to work on many other projects, making contributions in the fields of magnetism, aeronautics, and medicine (though some of his contributions to the later weren't all sunshine and rainbows!). It was, in fact, a well thought out and put together presentation full of detail (gleaned from Wikipedia) and not too many assumptions, beyond the mad scientist setting, but no one would ever see it, because of the evil, evil goats.

It was punching time.

[ooc: Yeah, I totally couldn't resist. Goats are moddable, and OCD is up!]

Childcare For Dummies [Thursday, May 24, 2012]

[sith_happened]

The room was filled with the sound of wailing babies and toddlers, and was definitely more pungent than usual.

Be afraid, children. Be very afraid.

"Ah, the smell of fresh diapers in the morning. Don'tcha love it?" Deadpool said brightly. "It's like sitting in New Jersey."

“Or Nar Shaddaa during the humid season,” Anakin said because that would help anyone but Atton. “Clearly the children can’t stay like this. You could try to potty train them but that, frankly, takes the kind of alcohol we can’t provide to students.”

Deadpool nodded enthusiastically at that. "There was this time with Jan--wait, you kids don't need to know that story. Cliff Notes: we had to get a new couch."

Ew.

"So, you all are gonna learn how well a kid who is old enough to walk around does when you have to change them. Here's a hint: not well. Hint number two: oh god, what is that brown smudge on the wall? Hint three: It's not chocolate."

“Ew,” Anakin said, making a face. “That was not my modification. Also Juliet peed on the dog last week. I’m not sure who was more upset--there was a lot of crying from everyone.”

"Ooo! Ooo! The dog," Deadpool suggested. "I know the score here."

They were the worst teachers ever on this subject, you know. Or the best. One of those two.

“Anyway,” Anakin said. “This is a diaper.” He held one up. “The tabby things go around their waists. Do not substitute or augment with duct tape, staples, or--no matter how much they beg--sparkly princess stickers.”

Deadpool made a sad face at the no on duct tape being used. Because it was amazing, Anakin. Amazing. "Soooo, you kids are gonna practice on some children who have not had naps and drank way too much apple juice leading up to this. Because it's not a challenge without adding a few fun things in there."

“If you must, you may watch a brief instructional video for more details,” Anakin concluded. Too bad it was about making a baby out of diapers instead of diapering a baby.

Oops?

Cryptozoology 101, Thursday, Period One

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

Class was taking place in the Danger Shop today. That was different, though it had been planned. Class was also apparently starting ten minutes late, which was also different and completely unplanned. It was a rather annoyed looking Trick who eventually opened the door to let all the students (and their Brownie companions) into the shop, muttering something about goat in the simulation interspersed with foreign words.

( Don't worry, kids. Just ancient Celtic swears, nothing to see here. )

"Kelpies are far more dangerous than their pwca cousins. They are water-horses, which means you will often find them close to large, deep bodies of water. Once you climb onto their backs, you cannot get down again until they choose to release you. Which they will--after they have dragged you down to the bottom of the closest lake or river and drowned you. They only release their magic after you're dead, so they can eat you." Cheerful, no? "These days, random horses are rarer and most people don't ride, so they take the form of naked youths in ponds, pretending to drown and calling for help. If you see someone drowning with kelp in their hair, think before you rush in and try to save them. Not acting might doom an innocent person to their death. Playing the hero might doom you." Trick looked very serious for a moment, and then added, "Unfortunately, there's no easy way to tell a leanan sidhe from the human she's pretending to be. Doing so takes magic of your own. So my only suggestion for dealing with them is to be very careful who you trust and read your contracts very closely."