Cryptozoology 101, Thursday, Period One

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

Class was taking place in the Danger Shop today. That was different, though it had been planned. Class was also apparently starting ten minutes late, which was also different and completely unplanned. It was a rather annoyed looking Trick who eventually opened the door to let all the students (and their Brownie companions) into the shop, muttering something about goat in the simulation interspersed with foreign words.

Don't worry, kids. Just ancient Celtic swears, nothing to see here.

The Danger Shop had been transformed into a large meadow, complete with many natural pools and ponds. Wandering around that meadow was a large herd of absolutely beautiful horses; tall and proud with long necks, strong legs, and large, gentle eyes. "As you might have learned over the past week," Trick said, ignoring the horses for now, "dealing with the Fae is almost always a tricky proposition. Fae follow their own rules and don't normally bother to explain things to anyone else, letting the people they are dealing with learn the consequences on their own. Even normally gentle and benign Fae like Brownies can become cruel and harsh when their desires are not met, and they are some of the few Fae who actually like dealing with humans."

From a small knapsack, Trick pulled out several boxes of Honey Berry Crunch. Immediately the Brownies left their chosen students and made a mad dash for the cereal, ripping the boxes open and shoving handfuls into their mouths. Trick ignored the feeding frenzy behind him and continued his lecture.

"Most Fae consider humans beneath them. While the most dangerous Fae look at humans as prey or, worse yet, vermin, most others see humans as an annoyance or possible entertainment. Dealing with Fae can be a very deadly proposition. This is compounded by the fact that most Fae are masters of trickery and deceit, hiding their true natures until it is too late for the human in question. Often, the humans only learn the truth in the few moments before they die. You've seen how unpleasant a helpful Fae can be when he gets angry; today we're going to discuss Fae that are already planning on harm from the moment they meet you."

Before Trick could continue, one of the Brownies broke away from the cereal massacre and whispered something in Trick's ear. Trick nodded and the Brownie scampered back to the others. A few more bites of cereal and then they were off, trotting backwards out the door of the Danger Shop.

"The first Fae we're discussing today is the the leanan sidhe, a beautiful Fae who targets the creative. Most people think that they only feed on artists, but that's not entirely true. While artists are their most plentiful targets, anyone who is passionate about their work is fair game: scientists and mathematicians, architects and actors--any of those have the chance of catching a leanan sidhe's eye. The Fae attach themselves to the human in question, sometimes as a lover or close friend, in the modern era they usually act as a manager or producer or the like. Once they are properly entwined in the human's life, they begin to feed. The human has a burst of creative genius, becoming more talented and prolific than ever before, and the leanan sidhe eats their lifeforce. This burst can last for years, but it will end and shortly after it does, the human falls into madness or death. The leanan sidhe moves on, discarding the human in search of new prey, and those she leaves behind spend the rest of their days longing for her return." Trick looked sorrowful for a moment, then shook his head and moved on.

"Two other kind of Fae that enjoy tricking humans are kelpies and their more benign cousins, the pwca. Pwca are tricksters and can be benevolent or malicious as they wish. Many pwca take the shape of random animals to induce humans to try to catch them, leading them on a merry chase through unpleasant landscapes, like thick mud or smully muck. Others allow humans to catch them and try to ride them; once the human is on their back, they run off on a wild gallop which the human cannot get free from until the pwca decides to let them off--usually by bucking or letting them fall and dragging them around for a while. While both of these can and have caused fatalities, usually the human in question is left terrified and injured, but alive. The pwca, of course, think this is all a grand joke." Because pwca were jerks that way. "Fortunately, pwca are also not that bright. Sometimes they will take the form of colts, but will be wearing chains as well. Other times, you can get pwca to talk by saying riddles aloud. Most pwca can't help but provide the answer if they know it. Protip class, if the horse you just found starts talking to you, don't get on it."

That rule might be a little skewed in Fandom, but--nope. Never mind. Trick stuck to his guns.

"Kelpies are far more dangerous than their pwca cousins. They are water-horses, which means you will often find them close to large, deep bodies of water. Once you climb onto their backs, you cannot get down again until they choose to release you. Which they will--after they have dragged you down to the bottom of the closest lake or river and drowned you. They only release their magic after you're dead, so they can eat you." Cheerful, no? "These days, random horses are rarer and most people don't ride, so they take the form of naked youths in ponds, pretending to drown and calling for help. If you see someone drowning with kelp in their hair, think before you rush in and try to save them. Not acting might doom an innocent person to their death. Playing the hero might doom you." Trick looked very serious for a moment, and then added, "Unfortunately, there's no easy way to tell a leanan sidhe from the human she's pretending to be. Doing so takes magic of your own. So my only suggestion for dealing with them is to be very careful who you trust and read your contracts very closely."

Comments

Before Class

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

Hang around, wait for the door to open, complain about your Brownie, complain TO your Brownie, swap horror stories...

Re: Before Class

[beautifulsenshi.livejournal.com]

"Someone take it away!" Minako wailed, pointing at her Brownie. "I think it tried to eat my cat!"

Re: Before Class

[dressedinblood]

Anna marched up to the door of the classroom, accompanied by her brownie. If he looked terrified of her...well. There was a reason for that. One that was not readily apparent at the moment, unless, of course, you were the sort of person who could sense auras--Anna's dark aura outpaced every goat currently on the island on a good day, and today was not a good day.

Look, the Brownie was lucky it was alive at this point. After class Anna was probably going to be a one-girl goat apocalypse to let off some steam.

Anna stood in the hallway with her arms crossed, barefoot because someone had ruined or hidden all three of her pairs of shoes, shooting angry, suspicious looks at the Brownie every few minutes, or whenever it dared to move. Those around her might notice alarming things like, oh, patches of black veins spreading and disappearing on her visible skin, red stains seeping through on her dress for a moment before vanishing, an odd quality to her eyes at times, like they were filling with dirty water. Her control was very, very thin at the moment. Approach with caution.

Re: Before Class

[myownface]

Sparkle was sitting on one side of the hallway, with a split lip.

Sparkle's Brownie was sitting on the other side of the hall, with a black eye.

The two of them were Not Talking.

This was probably for the best.

Re: Before Class

[walkswithcoyote]

Mercy might have been heard... growling?

Neither she nor her brownie looked at all pleased.

Re: Before Class

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"I'm gonna miss you, Mumfy," Kenzi sniffled, hanging onto his arm. "And the shoes. And the coats... okay, not the cross-dressing, the was a little alarming, because you wore the pink wig better than me...."

Sign In

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

Like you've been dealing with an angry Brownie for a week.

Re: Sign In

[beautifulsenshi.livejournal.com]

Minako Aino

Listen to the Lecture

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

Take notes, wonder where the Brownies have gone off to, admire the pretty horses, become leery of the pretty horses, be grateful there are no goats...

Talk About Your Brownie Experience

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

"Before we begin determining which horses are kelpies and which are not, please feel free to share any stories you have about your Brownie and anything you've learned over the past week."

Re: Talk About Your Brownie Experience

[crapatnetball.livejournal.com]

"Well I think the most important thing I learned is that our teacher is a little sneaky bastard," Thelma said, though she did have a bit of a smirk on her face when she said it.

Re: Talk About Your Brownie Experience

[myownface]

"I had to get a job to replace the shit he touched," Sparkle growled, levelling Trick with a look that suggested that he was contemplating further violence. "Winnifred here can go fuck himself."

Or Maury or Mumphred or whatever the hell his name was. Sparkle was not inclined to care.

Re: Talk About Your Brownie Experience

[abitlowkey]

"I had no problems with the servants," Loki said serenely. "As I know better than to accept gifts from elves."

A beat.

"And demons. They should also not be trusted."

Humans, on the other hand, not smart enough to trick him. Because he was Loki. HE DID WHAT HE WANTED.

To the "horses"!

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

"There are five tests to determine whether the horse you're dealing with is a true horse or a kelpie. While there are many horses out there, you'll notice they are all one of six different colors. With each test you can eliminate all horses of that color. Any horse of the final color remaining is safe to ride. If you are mistaken and choose a kelpie, it will run into a pond with you--you'll get wet, but you will be safe, otherwise. The real horses will take you for a pleasant ride around the meadow. Once you've gone for that ride, you're free to go."

Trick pulled an apple out of the same knapsack that he'd produced the cereal. "Each of you will have an apple, that's one of the tests. The last test involves another item that I am not providing for you; you're going to have to figure out what it is on your own. Use your senses, but especially common sense--I'm sure with a little thought and reflection you can figure it out. Now come and grab an apple and start looking for the real horses."

Black Horses

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

[Upon touching these horses, you will notice they feel very cold and wet, though there's no signs of water near them.]

Gray Horses

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

[These horses look and feel like normal horses, but if you get close enough, they smell like saltwater.]

White Horses

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

[These horses smell and feel normal, but if you look closely, their hooves are greenish and they leave wet prints behind them. This can be hard to see in the grass.]

Dappled Horses

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

[These horses are all standing next to water. They are otherwise indistinguishable from other horses, unless you look at their reflection in the water. Then you will see they have red eyes and fangs.]

Chestnut Horses

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

[These horses are indistinguishable from normal horses, but if you offer them an apple, they will eat it and then spit it out. Kelpies are carnivores, okay? Didn't you see the teeth on the last ones?]

Bay Horses

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

[They seem to be okay...Do you dare to ride?]

Talk to Trick

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

He's expecting disgruntled students.

Re: Talk to Trick

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

"But why can't Mumfy staaaaay?" Kenzi whined.

Talk to the TA

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

She's one of the people he's expecting to be disgruntled.

Re: Talk to the TA

[regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com]

Very. VERY VERY okay? Once they had that teensy comunication problem ironed out, and she threw out the clothes he'd worn, she wanted to keep Mumfy forever.

OOC

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

Feel free to mod your own interactions with the different kinds of horses, or ping me down here if you'd like an NPC "horse" to deal with.

As always, feel free to ask me if you have questions!