Diversity and You, Class #1, Period #2, May 7th

[boobs-and-evil.livejournal.com]

The woman standing in front of class looked mostly human. She had candy-pink skin that was too uniform to be a sunburn, and prominent horns sticking out of her forehead; the points of her ears just barely peeked out on either side of her head. Her hair was a bright fiery red, jutting upwards at implausible angles in proud streams. Other than that, she'd fit in at any corporate office, especially dressed as she was today, the white button-down shirt to the pencil skirt and the strappy black shoes. Give her a hat and a slight palette swap and no one would know the difference.

( Diversity and You. Taught by a demon who doesn't want to be here. )

(please wait for OCD!)

Philosophy of Choice [Monday | Period 1]

[not_in_the_book]

"Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the philosophy of choice. You can call me Ronan; Mr. Nolan is my father."

As the students came into the classroom, they would see Ronan sitting on his desk, fiddling with a slender, golden ballpoint pen. "This term," he said, "we'll be looking at the kind of choices that some of us end up in positions to make -- where you need to choose whether to stand up or sit down, step in or stand back, shout out or shut up. Sometimes, we feel like there's no choice, like we're powerless. Sometimes, we feel like we have no choice but to stand up for something we believe in."

He looked over the class, smiling softly at his students. "This class is not about teaching you which way to choose," he stressed. "Every situation is different. Every person is different. What this class is about is teaching you how you react, so that if -- when -- you are faced with a decision like this in real life, you already have a sense of how you react -- so that instead of reacting, you can simply act instead.

"Of course, this wouldn't be a Fandom High class if the first week wasn't introductions, so... You," he added, pointing at random. "Name, age, and whether or not you would sacrifice one friend to save three strangers, or vice versa."

Looking around the class again, sympathy in his eyes, Ronan also said, "If at any point any of you need to step away from a lesson, feel no shame in it -- speak to me afterwards to arrange an alternate assignment."

Relationship Ed, Monday

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

If anyone had been in Jeff and Jamie's class last semester, the first thing they would notice was that this was actually taking place in a normal classroom. There wasn't a stage set up, and no one was dancing.

There was, however, Jeff.

"Hello," said Jeff.

Hello, Jeff.

"So, er, I should be doing some kind of introduction, right? That's what you do in new classes. Introductions." Beat. "Or dancing. But I thought I'd leave that until there's more of a backing thing going on. I mean, I wouldn't force you into being backing dancers right on the first go. Especially not when this class is about something this serious and important."

He regarded every person in the class with an intense look, one after the other.

"Relationships," he announced, and left a short pause there to make it sound more serious, "are like traps. Like a dozen traps, and each trap is shaped differently and has its own rules. You can't apply the rules of one trap to the next trap or you'll wind up trapped, and that's... really, really terrible!"

Were you still following, class? Good.

"I've weathered these traps," he continued. "I am a veteran of the minefield of relationships. The minefield of traps. And today, and for the next few weeks, I will share my knowledge with you!" He was gesturing heavily by now, because that always helped one make one's point, and also just because he was Jeff.

"And since this is introduction week, I'll be talking about the first, and potentially worst of relationship traps: starting a conversation." He gave a visible tremble. "What do you say to a woman? ... Or a man. What do you say to a woman or a man you've never met before? I mean sure, 'hello' is obvious, but where do you go from there? After 'hello', you're sort of on your own, aren't you?"

He'd had some terrible hellos in his time, too. But that was, like, intermediate stuff.

"What if you say hello, and then nothing comes out? Well, here's a suggestion from my friend Steve: don't try to tell the woman - or man - that there's been someone breathing behind them the whole time. Make something better up! Something brilliant! And call him if you do." He took a breath. "Or maybe it's worse, and you do say something, but it's terrible: maybe you told her her ears look gorgeous, or maybe you started talking about someone's leg. Think further than what you see!"

Beat.

"And if you do say a stupid lie, don't keep making more of them up. That ends badly."

He pointed at various individuals in the group. "You and you, you and you..." he started. "I want you to practice talking. Come up with a strategy! After hello, what do you say? Remember: no body parts. Or fruits. Even vegetables are a bit on the off side."

There was a pause so long a student would be excused for thinking they were supposed to have started the assignment by now.

"Oh, and I'm Jeff. Jeff Murdock."

Photography- Tuesday- 3rd period- Class #1

[fates_jaye]

Unlike last semester, the students were in a normal classroom today. Who knew if that would change or not. Jaye certainly didn't.

"Hey there," she said, like she didn't really want to be talking to them, but if she had to... because they were paying her. "I'm Jaye. Don't call me Professor anything, that's weird. Call me ma'am and I fail you. Stick to Jaye. Anyway, this is Photography, so I hope you all brought cameras. I don't care if they're real cameras, phones, iPads, whatever. If not, I have disposable cameras, because they're a dying breed and you can get them really cheap but that doesn't mean you won't owe me money if you take one."

This was your teacher, boys and girls.

"This... semester, session, whatever we're calling it, we're going to take pictures, because this class is actually what the title says. But first I want you to say who you are and why you're here-" Because Jaye thought people who didn't want to be here were funny. "-and then I'm going to give you an assignment. Someone go, I don't care who."