HOW TO BE A COMPLETE BITCH WITHOUT TRYING, Workshop 6, Period 2 (Monday, August 11)

[notanactualfairy]

( Who Cares If It's Bad For You When It's So Cool? )

Karaoke For Fun And Profit #6 [Monday, Period 4, 8/11]

[mike-cannon.livejournal.com]

The house lights in the far back of the Danger Room's club simulation were out, so if anyone was sitting back there, they wouldn't be seen by the person on stage. Right now, that person was Mike. "Today, we're going to practice dealing with two big problems you can have when performing karaoke: hecklers and wardrobe malfunctions," he said.

From the darkened part of the room, someone yelled, "Yeah, tell us all about your wardrobe malfunctions, Mr. December!"

"Oh, what do we have here? A heckler?" asked Mike. "Yo, buddy, it's my turn! Why don't you just shut up and give your mouth a rest?" Addressing the students sitting in front of him, Mike continued his lecture without skipping a beat. "See, the best way to deal with a heckler is not to let them rattle you. They're rude, they're usually drunk, and they wouldn't last a minute up here on stage. They're not worth getting upset."

"Now, another thing that can potentially go wrong when you're on stage is clothing problems. Obviously, it can be really distracting to have a piece of clothing rip or fall apart when you're right in the middle of your song! I can promise you that this has happened to plenty of other performers and they've all managed to go on. The important thing with either a heckler, a wardrobe malfunction, or any other incident is to maintain your composure. How you handle something like that can really win points with the audience."

"Yeah, you tell them, Mr. December!" shouted the heckler from the back of the room.

"Oh, just shut up already," Mike yelled back. "And what the heck is with this 'Mr. December' nonsense anyway?"

He would never really find out how it got into the simulation, but that's when Mr. December's calendar page flashed on every screen in the club, including the large projection screen behind him. Mike didn't get upset. He calmly walked over to the Danger Room controls, tapped a few keys, and the image disappeared.

Relationships: How To Do It The Right Way - Monday - Period Three

[baskiceball.livejournal.com]

The classroom smelled a lot like pineapple today. The smell would only get worse the closer you got towards Marshall. Hope you like fruit.

“Hey guys. I hope you had better weekends than I did. I spent most of it as a fruit and my wife used my butt as a spider squasher,” Marshall said. “It was gross.”

“Anyways, we talked about fights this week and today we’re going to be talking about making up from said fights. Making up isn’t always easy. Sure, sometimes flowers and weepy apologies work but sometimes you have to really work at it—especially if you were a huge jerk,” he said. “The great news is after you make up you get to have make up sex. Make up sex is some of the greatest sex you can have. Don’t worry. I won’t go into detail about that and creep you out.”

“When making up the first thing you want to do is start with the verbal apology. Admitting you are wrong has a lot of power since most people are stubborn bastards most of the time. It sucks and it’s tough to do but it’ll get you a lot of points,” Marshall said. “And if you’re on the receiving end of a person apologizing please acknowledge how hard it was for them and ease up a bit. Making up takes two people.”

“The crappy fact is that sometimes it just takes time. People need their space after a fight, they need to think things through and you need to give them that space,” Marshall said. “But don’t give them too much space otherwise they might think you don’t care anymore. Timing is everything.”

“Oh, and another important thing? Tread lightly after a fight. You may have made up but your significant other isn’t going to forget about it anytime soon. You just want to be very, very nice for a month or so after,” Marshall paused. “I mean, you should be nice all the time but be extra super duper nice after a fight.”

Marshall folded his arms over his chest. “I was going to have you guys do some fighting and then making up but that’s just way too depressing. Today we’re going to sit in a circle and say nice things about each other. I don’t care if you compliment someone’s socks. Today we’re all being nice.”

How to Keep Your Neck in Modeling: A Mercenary's Guide to Fashion - Fifth Period - 08/11

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"It's come to my attention that I've been ignoring the mail half of the modeling world with all this talk of dresses and make up and heels and humiliating turns on the catwalk..." Deadpool started. "So today is all about male models."

A beat.

"Something that I would assume is mythical if my T.A. wasn't one."

It was true. The only ones on TV were all on Bravo and none of them won.

"So today we're watching a movie to give you guys a better idea of what kind of life they lead. A documentary of sorts. Pay special attention to the really really ridiculously good looking one."

Library [08/11]

[likethegun]

Sam was grumbling when he finally made it to the library, after getting lost on his way from class. He'd tried to get to the Perk but hadn't gotten anywhere close, which meant he'd arrived late and uncaffeinated. This already had the makings of a very annoying day, he could tell.

Late Sunday night, deep under the school

[idontlooktired.livejournal.com]

The island had had it with the motherf[redacted]ing snakes, spiders, and assorted creepy crawlies on this motherf[redacted]ing island.

It was going somewhere nothing would be able to bother it.

The machinery under the school kicked into gear, the island gave the metaphysical equivalent of a brisk shake, sending all Australia’s fauna back to Australia where it belonged, and blinked them out of existence.

…only to blink back in in the middle of nowhere. The island was in an apparently empty sea, centred neatly in the triangle formed by Bermuda, Majamis, and Puerto Rico.

Also known as the Bermuda Triangle.

No one would ever find them here.

Enjoying Those Teenage Years- Tuesday, period 5

[gobrookeyourself]

Brooke was the first one in the class today, sort of wondering where Haley was when she needed her. But once everyone had settled in, she said, "Hi, guys. Our teacher seems to be doggified, so you get to listen to me go on for a little while. We're supposed to talk about clothes, which is my absolute favorite subject. So personally, I think you just need to be true to yourself and your personality when you dress. Even if it means you dress in all black all the time and look at people all glowery, just know that you might get funny looks back.

"Clothes are an expression, so you just have to know that the way you dress tells other people about you. If you wear nothing but low-cut shirts and short skirts to a job interview.... well, okay, you might get the job, but it's not for the right reasons," Brooke said. "If you dress slutty, people might think you are. True, this might be what you want, but there is a time and a place. It's like wearing your school uniform to a party, or going on a first date in sweats. You just don't do it, because it's not appropriate for the setting. So what we're doing today is, I have a trunk here filled with fully moddable clothes. You'll put together what you think is a good first date outfit, then pair up and see what the other person thinks it says about you, and whether you stand a chance of getting any with it."

And as an afterthought, she said, "Oh! Almost forgot, but it's important: please wear underwear. Okay, I know, I know, there are times it's not needed or you don't want to or whatever, but if you have any chance of looking like Britney Spears throughout 2007, either go for the pretty stuff instead for once, or wear some damn pants."