The Various Gods & You, Monday, First Period

[needsacatchphrase]

Today, it seemed, there was an infestation of mistletoe on the island. This was a problem for your teachers for more than one reason, as not only were they exes from alternate dimensions, they had that Norse connection going on.

Don was doing his best to keep a wary eye on the mistletoe as he said, "Some of you may have already heard of Ragnarok, the Norse version of the end of the world. In my world, at least, Ragnarok was very real, and was a cycle that repeated again and again until it was broken by Thor." He would not be expanding on that at the present time, because it was still too raw for Thor. "One of the events that traditionally, mythologically started Ragnarok was the death of the god Balder, who was killed by a dart made of mistletoe." He glanced over at Jane to see if she had anything to add at this point.

Jane was holding onto Mjolnir, lightning crackling a little along it as the mistletoe edged in a little too close. "But these days, mistletoe is used as decoration in the winter season for kissing under. But if it doesn't calm down, I'm going to start blasting it."

Could a plant be sullen? Because the mistletoe was sullenly backing off. For now.

"The thing is, mistletoe was the only thing that could kill Balder," Don told the class. "It was a whole thing. The myth doesn't line up to reality, at least where I'm from, but the thing where sometimes you need weird things to kill gods. The asura king Hiranyakashipu in Hindi mythology, for example, could not be killed by a human, deva, or animal, and ended up being killed by a deva incarnated into a part-human, part-animal form. In Greek mythology, King Nisos could only be killed once a special purple lock of his hair was cut, and of course Achilles was only vulnerable at his heel. And speaking of feet, in Welsh legend Math, son of Mathonwy would die if his feet were not held by a virgin at all times." You know, very normal stuff. "What's the point? If you want to kill a god, you need to know how to do it. I'm not saying go around killing gods, but, you know, I don't know your life. It might become necessary. Although at the moment, I would more like to kill some mistletoe."

"So, with that, let's... do our best with the mistletoe here and also come up with ideas on strange ways you might kill a god," Jane suggested. And not with, you know, a magic sword from space. Because that'd be silly. Right? Right.

Sex and Sexuality, Monday

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

Jon was standing at the left front of the class with his arms crossed, scowling. Hannibal was standing at the right front, stone-faced.

"Today we're going to discuss something very important about relationships," Jon snapped. "Boundaries and apologies."

"Sometimes," Hannibal added smoothly, his eyes slightly narrowed, "you may encounter difficulties. It may not always be clear where you may have transgressed."

"And sometimes," Jon said, "You might think it's completely obvious."

"Which is why communication is key," Hannibal said pointedly "Actually talking about problems you might have."

"Violence is rarely the answer," Jon said even more pointedly.

"So, let's discuss communication techniques," Hannibal said, ignoring him. He brought up a screen on the projector.

Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

[jedigrammarians]

"Hi, kids," Aphra greeted the class cheerfully. "And welcome to you final!"

Was it? Both your teachers had kind of stopped keeping track of the weeks. Oh, well.

"Now, we came up with the most amazing test to truly examine what you've learned in this class." Had they actually learned anything, Isabela? "But then a teal deer ate the it so instead we're watching a classic."

Oh, like any of you were surprised by this.