Sex and Sexuality, Monday

[single_man_tear]

The class probably noticed that the regular teachers were not around when they first sat down and waited for a few minutes before Dean was shoved through the door by a moose. “HEY! HEY! WATCH THE ANTLERS!”

He looked around the room and sighed. “Okay, so, apparently, I’m supposed to teach this class. Just, uh…bear with me.”

He glanced at the whiteboard where someone had written, in cheerful cursive: “Today’s Topic: Anatomy!” Dean stared at it for a second, then turned to the class.

“Right. So. Anatomy.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Look, I’m gonna level with you—I’m not a doctor, okay? The closest I get to ‘medical expertise’ is patching up bullet wounds and maybe knowing how many ribs a vampire has.” He paused. “It’s the same as humans, by the way. Just in case that’s ever useful.”

“But,” Dean continued, holding up a finger, “what I do know is that y’all deserve better than someone who thinks the right spot on you that drives you wild is a mythical creature. Spoiler alert—it’s not. And if they can’t find it, they're either lazy or haven't learned the value of taking their time.”

In case anyone was wondering, Dean was not sticking to the lesson plan and was just winging it.
Well, lucky for him someone else was shoved through the door a bit later. Remy adjusted his jacket with a scowl over his shoulder. "I fought a wooly mammoth mutant while blind, homme, don't think being a moose will scare me."

Then he looked at Dean. At the class. At the board.

"Why does everyone think I want to teach kids about sex?"

The moose bellowed from the hallways.


"College kids. Still kids." He looked at Dean again. "So. How far have you gotten?"
“Don’t settle for lazy people who won’t spend time getting ready for the main event,” Dean said, trying to keep it family friendly.

Remy ruined that immediately with a creative and very Cajun curse. "Foreplay is at least half the fun!" He leaned against the desk. "What I like to do is. . . ."

The following description was extremely detailed with regard to the standard female — and male — anatomies, accompanied by illustrative hand gestures and facial expressions, and has been redacted from this narrative for the sake of the children.

". . . And then make sure everyone has enough water. Hydration is important."

Dean smirked. “As is communicating what you want and listening to what they want. All those techniques Cajun here just mentioned don’t mean squat if you or your partner has a hang up or isn’t into it. Find out what they do like from this Cajun’s very detailed and thorough descriptions and make it happen if both parties agree. Hell, that sounds like an assignment, doesn’t it Remy?”

Remy nodded. "Sure. Assignment. Find someone, talk to them, and if they're into it, have fun. Or do it by yourself if you prefer. Best way to find out what works on you is to dig in and explore yourself. Oh, and condoms on sex toys is good practice and easier clean up." He nodded to himself, then smiled. "Oh! Who here knows how to use a dental dam?"

This, Remy. This is why people think you would enjoy teaching about sex.

The Devil's Nest, Monday night

[texted3times]

Eric didn't mind the tinsel in the bar tonight. He did, however, mind the sexy elf costume Tiny was wearing behind the bar.

"You cannot turn this place into an Instagrammable holiday pop up tiki bar," Eric told him.

Tiny rumbled out an offended reply. Eric sighed dramatically in response. "Fine, but only until you've used up the Frosty the Merman cups."

The Devil's Nest was open, and weirdly Hawaiian? Blame Tiny.

Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

[good_for_six]

"Disguises," Isabela cheerfully greeted the class with. "They're an incredibly useful addition when trying to pull a fast one on someone."

Aphra nodded. "Especially when you're deal with people who have a strong cultural norm of particular kinds and styles of clothing being only for certain segments of the population," she said. "If you're in that situation and you're dealing with particularly unimaginative people, you get today's film"