Culinary Crimes; Tuesday, Second Period [05/11].

[somethingwithturquoise]

Ahhh, it felt good to be back in the kitchen classroom again! Well, it felt good for Summer to be back in the kitchen classroom again; she was pretty sure everyone else would be miserable and mildly terrified about it, and if they weren't then she clearly wasn't doing her job!

"Hi, everyone," she beamed from the front of the classroom once it looked like everyone was ready to go, "and welcome to Culinary Crimes, which is a class that will take a moment to recreate some highly questionable recipes and put them under trial to decide if they've just gotten a bad rap or they truly do deserve to be locked away into horrible recipe jail for good. For those of you who don't know me," which wasn't many of you, she was pleased to see, although it would have been nice to break more new people, because she was terrible, apparently, "my name is Summer, I've been deep-diving into the world of questionable recipes, with a focus on gelatin, for years now, it's sort of become my passion, and one of my favorite things is to share that passion with other people."

Sharing your passion was apparently now synonymous with torturing.

"Today, we're going to start out with a bang, with a focus on actually two recipes, both involving fruit and seafood."

Because weren't those two things that you always thought to put together!

"But before we do that, since this our first class, I really would like to go around and do some introductions. It's helpful to me even though I know most of you, but it's also helpful to you guys in case you don't know each other yet, but, believe me, by the end of this class, you'll all have shared an inescapable bond through what you've experienced here."

You know. Like PTSD, or something.

"So before we get started on our dishes, let's just go around the room, share with everyone your name, maybe what kind of cooking experience you have so far, why you were interested in taking this course, maybe a little about yourself, and let's hear what maybe some of your favorite foods are."

So that she could ruin them later.

"If you have any food allergies or dietary restrictions, now would probably be a good time to mention those, but I will warn you, that might get you out of trying some stuff, but some of this stuff, there's no avoiding."

Though it may easily spark many future food aversions!

"Who would like to go first?"

The Art of Haiku; Tuesday, Third Period [05/11].

[sake_shinigami]

Since this was a summer class and the whole concept of nature would play very heavily into it, Shunsui decided that, weather permitting, this class in particular would meet in the park, and had ensured that this session's crop of lovely little ducklings had been informed as much. And then it was just a matter of finding a good spot under a lovely tree, probably not too far from the pond, to settle, with an offering of tea and cocoa (alas, no sake for anything school-adjacent!) for them when they arrived.

"Ohayōgozaimasu," he started, with a duck of his head and that nearly ever-present lazy smile on his face, "and welcome to our first session of the Art of Haiku ♥, where we will explore the traditional classic Japanese short form of poetry know for its brevity, its beauty, and its ability to say much in very, very little ♥. Please, help yourself to a beverage if you'd like, and let us begin ♥.

"The concept of the haiku," he continued, in his low, rumbling, drawling voice, "in modern times has been a bit reduced to its basic structure: three lines, broken up by syllables, five for the first, seven for the second, and then back to five to bring us home ♥. Already, though, we are diverging from its original form. Breaking it down this way is common in English translations, but in the original Japanese, the haiku is usually written as just a single line. We are hardly going to flail our hands about technicalities in this class, of course. Our main concern will merely be creating beautiful words to embody beautiful ideas ♥.

"It's far more complex than merely the beats of the words and the way they are arranged, though," he added. "A true haiku will also involve two very important elements: a kireji, or 'cutting word,' and a kigo, which is a relation to a season, or at least some aspect of nature. Things also get a little bit trickier when you're dealing with translations and the like, but we'll not worry about that too much. We are here to enjoy ourselves and make beautiful words; let us not let technicalities stand in the way of such things ♥.

"Let us take an example from Bashō, one of Japan's best-known haikuists, to highlight what I mean:"

He cleared his throat lightly and recited, first in Japanese, then in English:

furu ike ya kawazu tobikomu mizu no oto

Ah, the ancient pond
As a frog takes the plunge
Sound of the water

He paused, tilting his head toward the pond itself, as if expecting nature to respond in kind with exactly the sound described in the poem. Nature did not oblige, and Shunsui wondered if he should have just brought his own frog. He smiled at the students.

"Simple, neh ♥? But also vivid in its emotion, in capturing a specific moment that inspires a specific feeling. We do not need the frog plunging into the water to feel the full effect of the poem. It's simple words are enough; it encapsulates a whole scene, and does so in very little.

"There is much to explore with the haiku," he added, "but as this is only our first meeting, we will save much of that for future classes ♥. For this class, I would like us all to take some time and consider composing a haiku that embodies the moment of ourselves: an introduction by way of haiku, based on the most simple elements of it: one sentence, broken up into a 5-7-5 rhythm, with a reference to nature, but about yourselves. For example:"

Of course he hadn't prepared anything for his own example, choosing instead to tilt his head up and consider for a moment before offering out:

"Cherry blossoms dance
With each soft step like laughter
And sake waterfalls"

He chuckled a little as he finished. "Well," he said, ducking his head again, this time as if in apology, "perhaps not perfect, but, then again, I am no Bashō, nor do I expect or claim to be ♥! But hopefully, you get the idea. Now if you prefer a more modern pen and paper to compose your poems, please do that, but I have also brought with me some parchment and calligraphy brushes if you'd like to try to make the experience a little more immersive. Take a moment to consider your introduction haikus and towards the end of the class, we'll share ♥. And I also have a little assignment for you ducklings for next week, as well; I'd like you each to find your own haiku in the wild and bring it in and we shall discuss them next week ♥. Any questions before we begin?"

Sam Eagle Presents: A Salute To... [Tuesday, 5/11, 4th Period]

[but_mostly_america]

Punctuality was important so any students arriving early would find Sam standing at the front of a room, behind a podium but in front of an American flag, ready to begin. Any students arriving exactly on time would find the same. Any students arriving late would find Sam glaring at them from behind that same podium. Don’t ask how he managed to glare when most of his face was immobile. He could do it and that’s what’s important here.

At precisely the moment the workshop was set to begin Sam cleared his throat and began to speak.

“Greetings, children and welcome to ‘A Salute To…’ A workshop presented by me, Sam Eagle, wherein I shall educate you on a variety of topics!”

Sam surveyed the room, looking over all the students with his unblinking felt gaze. Including, much to Sam’s dismay, Beaker.

“This will be a wholesome and normal class,” Sam continued. Normal aside from being led by a large blue felt bird. “There will be no nonsense here. No immorality. No...weirdness.”

Yes, Beaker, he’s looking at you.

“There will only be education! On very important topics! And perhaps examinations! Those are necessary to track your progress!”

“Our introductory topic is, fittingly, introductions!! I will introduce myself, Sam Eagle, in a brief lecture entitled ‘A Salute to All Muppets but Mostly Sam Eagle.’ I am a Muppet! My colleagues at The Muppet Show are Muppets. Some Muppets are more worthy of a salute than others but I shall salute all Muppets today.” Maybe not all Muppets. Maybe not Beaker. Or the frog who had betrayed him by sending him to an island where Beaker currently resided.

“I am, of course, an American Eagle. The most noble of birds and the most noble and decent of all Muppets.” Somebody wasn’t terribly familiar with his Sesame Street colleagues, clearly.

“Unlike some other Muppets, I enjoy wholesome pursuits. Culture! Americana! The stars and stripes! Art! Literature! Morality! I constantly work to improve the quality of the entertainment we produce when no other Muppet will take a stand!"

"I do not enjoy nonsense. There will be no explosions here! Unlike some of my colleagues I do not believe in utilizing explosives for frivolity or amusement! And there will be no attempts at humor particularly from any bears. No cooking in this class and definitely no singing of the word ‘bork.’ No one will be shot out of cannons! And! There will absolutely be no laboratory experiments!” Did you hear that, Beaker? DID YOU?

“But enough about other Muppets! It is now time for all of you fine young citizens you to introduce yourselves!”


[Standard work availability disclaimer, though we have state testing today so I should be extra free for the early afternoon!]

Bounty Hunting for Beginners | Tuesday, 1st Period

[flourish_or_perish]

It was day two of introductions week, so hopefully no one was sick to death of saying who they were yet. Because guess what was happening even in this class!
Din was at the ready for their students to arrive, not showing how uncomfortable this whole thing was making him. You know. As the only one in the duo who had no freakin' clue what he was doing here. "Welcome to the class," he said, glancing over at Faye.

"Hey," Faye called, leaning against the nearest wall or desk or whatever. Just as long as she didn't have to stand up straight. "This is bounty hunting class. If you didn't sign up for it, join the club." Because neither had they! "And stick around, 'cause you might learn something, because we're both experts in the field."

Listen to her talk you up, Din! That was nice of her! (Ignore the fact that Faye was blatantly lying, and she was in no way any kind of an expert. In almost anything. At all.)

Well, it was good to give their students a sense of confidence in their teachers at least.

"I was told that it's tradition to do an introduction for the first class." Unless Faye lied to him. Which was possible. "But we also wanted to know why you wanted to learn about bounty hunting. It's not exactly an easy profession."

"Pff." Faye was all too happy to undermine that. "I mean, maybe for you."

Not the time to be contrary for the hell of it, Valentine. "But yes, tell us why you want to be bounty hunters. It takes a pretty specific type of person."

The morally flexible kind, in her experience.

Din sighed, just letting her go on down that path. "The sort who doesn't get killed easily, I've found."

"Quick on your feet," Faye supplied, nodding in agreement. "So that you don't get killed."

For some reason, a lot of times people who you were chasing and threatening to take to jail didn't want to go!

"So, tell us your reasons for it and we can see how the class will go for you," Din said, glad they could agree on that one skill.

The Future History of Science, Tuesday 6th period

[what_the_shock]

Miguel met his class in the Danger Shop, which was set up like a high-end 22nd-century lab. At each station were a crate full of parts and a set of blueprints.

"Hey." He waved to them as they settled. He was wearing a lab coat and looking a bit more nerdy than usual. "This is science class, so if you don't want to be here, last chance to bail."

After he'd given them a chance, he sat on the desk up front. "My name's Miguel. Pretty sure you all know me, but anyway, I'm from Earth about a century ahead of this one. I'm a geneticist and an engineer. That means I'm really missing a few bits of technology here, and I have the know-how to remedy that, with a bit of help. So, we'll be making some of that tech. The parts are real; we're only in here for the safety protocols," because he saw you, Beaker, "so you can take these things out onto the rest of the island and make people jealous and maybe want to upgrade themselves, and then we'll all be happy." Or something.

"I know we're supposed to do intros, but I already know you all, so just tell me if there's something specific you want to work on, and then we can get into making portable holograph emitters that run off phone batteries so we can have 3D phone displays. Sound good?"