Badass Bitch Survival Guide; Tuesday, First Period [09/01].

[died8yearsago]

The fact that Rosa actually had favorite lessons for BABSG (not to mention an acronym) was a detail that she didn't really care to dwell on too much, but that wouldn't negate the fact that the first lesson of BABSG was definitely up there on the list. Mostly because the effort to amusement ratio was promising: she barely had to do anything for it, but the students very rarely disappointed.

So they'd get into the classroom and find some seats, while Rosa just sat at the desk up front with her feet up, idly watching them as they filed in, generally counting (as if she'd paid attention to exactly how many students she had this semester), quirking a brow at the more familiar faces, and checking her watch. On the board behind her were a few names:

EMILY GOLDFINCH
SONIA RAMIREZ
DIANA VALLES
MARCIE BEAUCHAMP

Then she checked her watch again, sighed, and launched into the class from her nice comfortable spot at the desk. "Alright," she said, "let's get started. Badass Bitch Survival Guide. Where I'm going to do my best to teach you guys how to be more badass in your every day life. Not a bad way to spend a Tuesday morning. And it's the first week, so, usually, that means introductions, especially when there's some new faces, but here's the thing. I don't really care who you are. I'm not really that interested in getting to know any of you. I probably won't even remember your names. So we're not even going to bother. We are going to bother with getting to know someone you aren't today."

She gestured at the names on the board.

"These are some different identities I've used in the past, that I'm okay with sharing because, for some reason or another, I can't really use them very effectively around here any more, or various other places around the country. For all intents and purposes, if you look at the paperwork, they're all actual, real people, with ID and history, they'll pass a background check, they've got goals, they've got some real estate and businesses. And they can all be pretty handy in the pursuit of baddassery. A good, solid alternate identity to disappear into can be a useful survival tool to any badass bitch, and not even just for throwing off creeps and people," she gestured vaguely toward them now, "you just don't want to talk to.

"So today," she continued, "I've giving you five minutes. Come up with a good secret identity or alternate persona. Convince me you're someone you're not. If it's believable, you're free to go. If it's not, keep trying. Simple enough, right? And, let's be honest, none of us really want to be here right now, least of all me, so take a few moments, and when you're ready, come on up, and let's see what you've got."

Guiding the Powerful Yet Incompetent, Tuesday, Second Period

[tellmehowstuffworks]

Yennefer was muttering to herself and jabbing at the Danger Shop remote when the students entered said Danger Shop for today's class. When she saw them, she said, "Ah! Hello! I am Yennefer of Vengerburg, and this is 'Guiding the Powerful Yet Incompetent,' and if you're wondering about my qualifications, I was an advisor to the king of Aedirn for...far longer than I should have been, really. For at least the beginning of the semester, we will be guiding...this." She tentatively pushed a button on the Danger Shop remote, and a person shimmered into existence. He was red-haired, corpulent, and holding a turkey leg. Whew. Success.

"No disrespect to whoever this is, because I'm sure that in life he was a perfectly fine ruler who only went through the usual number of wives," Yennefer said, because she did not, in fact, recognize Henry VIII, "but I asked the program to give me something between 'standard useless medieval king' and 'that orange thing someone put in charge of America' and this is what it spat out. But enough of that." She pushed another button, and Henry disappeared.

"Today I would like to get to know you." Well, not really, but she was led to believe it was traditional. "Please tell me your name, where you're from, what made you interested in my class, and anything else you think I really ought to know about you."

Think On Your Feet, Tuesday 3rd Period

[jedigrammarians]

Aphra had told her class to meet her in the Danger Shop, which certainly wasn't a sign they should be worried or anything.

"So I'm looking at the only student with the sense to take this class." She didn't specify if it was good sense. "Which is all about learning to react to unexpected situations.

"But it's the first week, so introductions, name, class, and something else, oh, I know." The floor suddenly feel out from under them. "How you're going to get out of the pit. Feel free to make the last one a practical demonstration."

School Assembly, Wednesday, September 2, 2020 [afternoon]

[sith_happened]

Anakin had opened up the auditorium for the first time in a while and was trying very hard to suppress memories of a holiday pageant gone horribly, horribly wrong. Remembering being a young, stupid high school student was made easier with his best friend back on the island for the first time in a while, but she, at least, had brought a smile to his face as he made final adjustments to the targets they'd set up on stage, and then glanced over to the elaborate obstacle course they'd made behind the area cleared behind the students, and extended to basically all of the space around the school that wasn't a building--while they waited as everyone arrived.

"It's a good thing we've checked out every paintball course on the East Coast over the last ten years." Anakin began when everyone was settled down. He had Aeryn had then gotten thrown out of every paintball course on the East Coast by making small children cry, but details! "It's helped to make this, the greatest paintball course, to properly teach weapons safety." He gestured to the obstacle course set up behind the students' chairs. "You, of course, also passed some of it in the grassy area on your way in."

Because everything doing was worth overdoing by an order of magnitude: the unofficial Skywalker motto.

"Now, most of you probably have some experience with weapons by now," said Aeryn, who still made those kinds of assumptions about Fandom, even the first week of school. "And hopefully you haven't shot a hole in anything you will need later. There's more to it than that."

Anakin nodded. "Now you've all checked your lethal weapons in so that you don't shoot people, no matter how annoying, in the dorms." He grinned at Aeryn. "Meet Aeryn Sun, the reason we have that rule."

"It was one time," Aeryn protested.

"It's how I knew we'd be friends," Anakin said. "But! Weapons should be used safely. You need to be able to aim and fire at the butt you are intending and not kill someone instead. There's paperwork."

Also, it was wrong.

"And it's wrong," he added belatedly.

"And, usually messy," Aeryn said. They were so helpful! "Avoid the face. Keep your weapon pointed down unless you are prepared to fire it. That will also keep the situation less stressful for everyone unless you intend to make it stressful..."

Then they proceeded to give an extremely detailed and competent (probably too competent for any high schoolers not used to being armed all the time) run-through of a series of gun-adjacent weapons.

"But you don't really learn by watching," Anakin admitted, picking up the last of their samples. "Let's get some volunteers up here for demonstrating."