Advanced Bird Haberdashery, Wednesday, period 2

[betterthanaplan]

The classroom was bird free today. Suspiciously so. To the point where when the students came in, Duke was standing on his desk, pushing the ceiling tiles out of the way to see if the birds were somehow hiding in there.

"Give me a minute," he told them. "I'm sure the birds are around here somewh —" His shifting feet hit the stack of instruction sheets and slid out from under him, sending him careening over backwards. He pinwheeled his arms, but before he could hit the floor (or any enterprising students could attempt to somehow catch him), he vanished, his clothes slumping to the desk and floor with a dull thump.

A very pissed off grey gull fought its way out of his shirt, yelling the entire time.

Anyone who went to investigate the hat pattern for this week would find that they were meant to make poor, beleaguered gull!Duke fascinators. Good luck getting anywhere near him, though.

Bad Ass Bitch Life Lessons; Wednesday, First Period [04/08].

[died8yearsago]

Well, there they were. Another day in this dumb classroom at the apparent mercy of a randomized projector that Rosa should have just thrown out the window weeks ago. But once the class was there and it was time to start, Rosa gave the projector the customary side-punch that got it whirring and shining their next big tidbit of wisdom onto the board:

"Marshmallow chicks....
Sounds like a club I could qualify to join."

"...great," Rosa snorted, "it's somewhat Easter-themed."

Then she frowned a little at it, her brain working to try to think of how to make that tie into her class. Briefly, she thought of just having the class microwave Peeps for the period, because that was always a good time, and there were probably a million of them down at Turtle & Canary that she could get pretty quickly, buuuut...

A different idea landed.

"Okay," she said, turning to the class, "clearly, having a marshmallow chick body is the opposite of being bad ass. If you're going to be bad ass, you need to be in shape. And that's why, to show this old broad what's up, we're going to hit the gym today."

Apparently, it was a theme for ther this week.

"Hope you brought good running clothes, because we're doing laps. And if you didn't? Way to fail. A bad ass bitch should always be ready to run. Alright, everybody up. Let's move."

Sex Education, Wednesday, April 8, 2020

[sith_happened]

"Good day, class," Anakin said. "Since we didn't have small, unasked for children show up after Valentine's Day, that generally means they are showing up this weekend. So today we will talk about basic childcare needs and why they aren't really just hungry for fruit snacks, fish crackers, and juice boxes."

He waved his hands at the two children already in the room. "Say hello to Juliet and Christopher, my children. They'd both showed up over these weekends long before my wife and I had even considered the possibility of children, and apparently telling them not to jump through strange portals never really sunk in."

Juliet shrugged and continued her coloring.

"The important part for the weekend is to make the children, no matter how unlikely in this reality, feel loved and appreciated before they go back." Anakin sighed heavily. "Even the teenagers. Even when they are being especially trying. So today you get to work on making craft projects with popsicle sticks, setting blocks on inappropriate-for-five year olds apps, and hiding the pudding cups."

You know, sex education. Kind of.