So You Want to Be a Pirate!, Wednesday, period two

[betterthanaplan]

Duke was looking slightly less like a crazy person this week — but since his gremlin bite persona last week hadn't been quite as out of character as he might like to think, it was really only very slightly. He had a pirate hat on, and Polly Lobster (Duke would swear the porg itself had insisted on keeping the name) on his shoulder, and a piratey cutlass at his side.

"Welcome to the last pirate class!" he said, once the students had gathered. "You've all survived! Congratulations! I was thinking we could finish things off with a nice pirate party —"

His hat went flying backwards off his head and stuck onto the mast behind him, a short, rough-hewn arrow piercing right through it.

"— Or maybe we'll get attacked by enemy pirates." Duke turned to look at the enormous, palm-tree laden boats appearing out of the mist off their port bow. "Sure. That works."

A trio of little round creatures loomed at the prow of the enemy boat.

"Please tell me those aren't porg pirates." Duke squinted at them. "Ah. Nope. Coconut pirates. It's all good, Polly." Polly burbled and shifted to try to hide behind his hair as another volley of arrows rent the air.

"Well?" Duke asked his students. "What are you waiting for? Attack!"

Ethics, Wednesday, December 18, 2019

[sith_happened]

"Welcome to your final, everyone," Anakin said, putting exam papers onto everyone's desk. "Of all of my many ethics classes, you have been one of them."

Thanks for that, Anakin.

"Enjoy your holiday break. Try not to be unethical now that you've had this course."

Fandom Library, Wednesday

[raisedbybooklice]

In the corner of the library, an cat-sized booklouse scuttled under a shelf. Such a thing was hardly unusual in the Great Libraries of Austermeer. Apprentices spent whole afternoons chasing the things away from the grimoires and out of the library. Here in Fandom, they were much less common: only one in the whole place.

Of course, that one was normally a girl, as was the way of such things. One minute, Elisabeth had been stocking shelves, humming softly to herself, the next, she was transformed into a booklouse, her whole six-foot frame somehow compacting down into a creature measured in inches. It was all very disconcerting to say the least.

Anyway, the library was open, even if the normal girl was nowhere to be found!

Read the Room: Practical Self-Defense (Thursday, 12/19, First Period)

[brat_inslayage]

Kennedy had, in fact, left instructions for all the students to meet her in town today, at Pizza Planet. And also, if possible, to get there at least kind of hungry. When they arrived, they'd find an entire section of the restaurant reserved for them, and an absurd spread of pizza, calzones, pasta, salads, and drinks (all carefully labeled and separated as necessary to accommodate for various dietary restrictions) on the tables there.

"Congrats on making it through the semester," Kennedy told them with a grin. "Which is not so much just a in-this-class context as it is a general one, because Fandom. And also high school. And also I'm being serious here. You should be proud of yourselves. Thus, pizza sort-of-brunch party." Look, you didn't graduate from Fandom High and then spend almost nine years around people who went to Sunnydale High and not come away from it with a different perspective on what exactly getting through high school meant.

She gestured for them to grab plates and cups and help themselves.

And then cleared her throat.

"Buuuuuuuuuut. In case you thought you were getting off really easy? Take a look around this place, and while you're eating, come up with five different objects in here you could use as an improvised weapon, and five ways to use the environment around you to your advantage in a fight. This isn't a right or wrong answers deal, 'cause going back to that whole being-creative thing, it's all about knowing what you can do and playing to your own strengths. I don't expect all of you to fight the same way, so when you come up with your answers, I want to hear what you, personally, would use. Not what you think is the correct thing to use."

Kennedy put a couple of slices of pizza with possibly every meat protein ever piled on them on her plate, took a bite out of one, and pointed at the class with the rest of the bitten-into slice.

"Just not on an empty stomach, okay?"

Well, what are you waiting for, kids? Chow down.