Bad Ass Bitch Survival Guide; Friday, First Period [10/11].

[died8yearsago]

If anyone in this class was expecting Rosa to make things easy and just do a movie class on account of the fact that most of them were all dudes right now, she'd be wondering if they were new. Because bad ass bitches didn't take breaks, and, besides, it was October. They had a lot of work to do.

Rosa came into the classroom that morning just a little bit late, because sometimes, you needed to make an entrance, and that entrance included holding a big black duffel bag which clunked down on the desk with a lot of clattering. And then, after that, a smaller bag, with far less clunking, more of a slight subtle clinking, if anything. Okay," she said, "today's lesson is a pretty important skill that I'm hoping you'll find actually easier with hands smaller than some of you have right now, so learning it today could be interesting when you try to utilize it in the future. Some of you might already know it," although she'd put money down that it was fewer people this year than in last year's class, "but it's always good to practice and maybe help out those of you who aren't already little bad ass delinquents. And that skill's gonna be lockpicking.

"Before we get to that, though," said Rosa, lifting up the smaller bag for a second, "we need to talk about next week. Yes, it's the school trip. Yes, it's technically a vacation, but bad ass bitches are always on, and I have an assignment for you so we're not wasting a week when we could be honing skills. You can choose not to participate, of course, and it won't affect your grade, but you'll still be judged for it. Especially since all it is is eseentially a week long game of Tag. Each of you are going to get five of these bracelets," she dug a hand into the bag and pulled out one set of five simple beaded bracelets on elastic, black and basic, and tossed it to the first student, then went and tossed a set to the others as she continued, "if one of your classmates manages to touch you--don't make it intrusive or creepy, just a small tap on the shoulder or something like that--and says 'Tag,' then you have to foreit one of the bracelets to them. At the end of the week, on Friday, whoever comes to me with the most bracelets wins. What does that mean? You'll have to wait and find out. Pretty simple, right? It's going to be good practice to remember to keep aware even when you're having fun and being distracted, to never let your guard down and to always seek out opportunities to tag your dumb ass classmates too busy ogling at a bunch of turtles.

"If there aren't any questions about that," she continued, pausing to see if there were, "let's get back to today's lesson."

Rosa unzipped the bag, turned it over, and sent a cascade of various different locks....door locks, car locks, pad logs, digital locks, bagels and lox (oh, so that's where her breakfast wound up)...onto the desk and onto the floor. And then she pulled out a few lock picking kits, a sleeve of bobby pins, a few wire hangers, and some pocket knives.

"You never know when you'll accidentally forget your keys or whatever and be locked out of your house, your apartment, your car, you safety deposit box....or when you'll be locked in somewhere and need to get out." Guess which happened more often, go on, guess! "And those are pretty much the only situations where this very useful skill would ever come in handy. Obviously, nothing else, but if you do get it in your little brains to practice around the island, just remember, the cops in town literally have a roster with each and every one of your names on it."

And she was getting much better about knowing which name went with what person, no matter how hard she tried not to.

"Now," she said, "a few techniques and methods, and each lock is slightly different, so it's good to try a lot of different ways..." She then launched into some demonstrations, with some different locks, different tools, as easily and matter-of-factly as someone else might be teaching mathematics or biology, and ended with a rousing and surely inspiring moment of, "And when in doubt....just smash it," which involved showing just how well the butt of a pistol can smash a lock if you hit it just right.

"There," she concluded, "now you'll never have to worry about being locked out of your house or apartment or car again, which is the only situation in which this skill will ever be used."

That emphasis was the closest thing to a wink Rosa was ever going to get. They were smart kids. They could figure it out.

"Any questions? If not, we'll spend the rest of the hour just trying different locks or tools, or sharing if you've got any other methods that I haven't already covered."

Because, hey, teachers could learn, too.

[[ ocd coming up is up! ]]

Cooking Through History, Period 2

[sharp_man]

"Welcome back," Hannibal said. He was back being male again, and he hadn't even had a chance to wear all the clothing he'd bought in Paris! He was in a suit once more instead, and the Danger Shop had given them a large mud-brick house with stone ovens and bronze pots.

"Earlier, we worked with one Babylonian recipe; today, we will be completing another. The earliest known cookbook is from Babylon, and not strictly speaking a book, but a clay tablet dating to around four thousand years ago. It contains forty recipes, most of which are simple in ingredients but complex in instructions, which include only the order in which to add them, not measures or times. In this time and place, few could read and write; these recipes were likely an attempt to document haute cuisine rather than as instructions for daily cooking.

"Many meats are included in these recipes, most of which are still eaten today - beef, pork, fowl, and fish appear to have been popular. A number of grains, vegetables, and fruits are also important, along with herbs, dairy, and oils.

"Today, we will be making a wildfowl pie. The recipe reads:

Remove the head and feet. Open the body and clean the birds, reserving the gizzards and the pluck. Split the gizzards and clean them. Next rinse the birds and flatten them. Prepare a pot and put birds, gizzards and pluck into it before placing it on the fire.

Put the pot back on the fire. Rinse out a pot with fresh water. Place beaten milk into it and place it on the fire. Take the pot (containing the birds) and drain it. Cut off the inedible parts, then salt the rest, and add them to the vessel with the milk, to which you must add some fat. Also add some rue, which has already been stripped and cleaned. When it has come to a boil, add minced leek, garlic, samidu, and onion (but not too much onion).

Rinse crushed grain, then soften it in milk and add to it, as you knead it, salt, samidu, leeks, and garlic along with enough milk and oil so that a soft dough will result which you will expose to the heat of the fire for a moment. Then cut it into two pieces. Take a platter large enough to hold the birds. Place the prepared dough on the bottom of the plate. Be careful that it hangs over the rim of the platter only a little. Place it on top of the oven to cook it. On the dough which has already been seasoned, place the pieces of the birds as well as the gizzards and pluck. Cover it with the bread lid [which has meanwhile been baked] and send it to the table.

"As you can see, there are a number of things missing: do you initially cook the birds in water or in fat? What sort of birds are used? And there are also questions of translation. Fortunately, somebody has translated this into a modern recipe." He handed out tablets with the recipe on them.

"So, cook your foods, and as usual, please let me know if you have any questions."

Practical Civics, 3rd Period - Friday

[imafuturist]

"Right," Steve said, "welcome back, fellow...fellows. Today we're going to delve a little more into Executive Branch functions when they aren't all being focused for reelecting a giant, felonious, orange Cheeto."

Steve was so righteously hacked off.

"The president is supposed to be the figurehead of the government, operating as a balance to the judiciary and legislative branches," Tony said. "Not as a dictator."

"Which seems to be news to this one," Steve huffed. "The Executive Branch, as it says in its name, is there to execute the laws passed by Congress and signed by the President--and declared Constitutional by the courts. Because the United States is so sprawling, though nothing on the scale of some of the galactic governments you all come from, those functions are sourced out to various departments. Justice, housing, defense, foreign policy, treasury issues, and so on, and each have their own budgets decided on by Congress. The thousands of people who work they have sworn oaths to the Constitution and not to the President, which also seems to be news to this one."

"So many surprises for him," Tony said, thriwing his hands up in the air. "Admittedly, this has happened after years of strengthening the unchecked power of the executive branch. And Mitch McConnell being a waste of space in the Senate. Welcome to the perfect storm of fascism."

Steve nodded in agreement. "Because the Congress is 535 people and getting them to go in any one direction is basically impossible, a lot of their authority has been transferred to the departments over the last, say, fifty years because of the assumption that the President wouldn't be an incompetent, felonious--" he coughed to not say "asshat" because of the children. "--idiot, with mutual agreed upon assumptions that were not turned into law. Which is now a huge problem."

"So, let's discuss," Tony said. "Pros and glaringly obvious cons yo a strong executive branch. What changes you would make. Again, please no murder."

Fandom Library, Saturday 10/12/19

[rotten2thecore]

Evie was happily straightening the shelves in the travel section today. The longer she was in Fandom the more she was discovering that there were so many interesting worlds she never knew about. She had never thought much about traveling before, but now she thought about it often.

Would she be able to go anywhere besides Fandom since she was off the Isle and away from Auradon? Was it even possible?

She pondered those thoughts as she continued sprucing up the shelves. She'd maybe bring it up to the teachers she was beginning to trust before she made any serious plans about it.