Detective Rosa Diaz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
died8yearsago) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2019-10-11 05:24 am
died8yearsago) wrote in fandomhigh2019-10-11 05:24 am
Entry tags:
Bad Ass Bitch Survival Guide; Friday, First Period [10/11].
If anyone in this class was expecting Rosa to make things easy and just do a movie class on account of the fact that most of them were all dudes right now, she'd be wondering if they were new. Because bad ass bitches didn't take breaks, and, besides, it was October. They had a lot of work to do.
Rosa came into the classroom that morning just a little bit late, because sometimes, you needed to make an entrance, and that entrance included holding a big black duffel bag which clunked down on the desk with a lot of clattering. And then, after that, a smaller bag, with far less clunking, more of a slight subtle clinking, if anything. Okay," she said, "today's lesson is a pretty important skill that I'm hoping you'll find actually easier with hands smaller than some of you have right now, so learning it today could be interesting when you try to utilize it in the future. Some of you might already know it," although she'd put money down that it was fewer people this year than in last year's class, "but it's always good to practice and maybe help out those of you who aren't already little bad ass delinquents. And that skill's gonna be lockpicking.
"Before we get to that, though," said Rosa, lifting up the smaller bag for a second, "we need to talk about next week. Yes, it's the school trip. Yes, it's technically a vacation, but bad ass bitches are always on, and I have an assignment for you so we're not wasting a week when we could be honing skills. You can choose not to participate, of course, and it won't affect your grade, but you'll still be judged for it. Especially since all it is is eseentially a week long game of Tag. Each of you are going to get five of these bracelets," she dug a hand into the bag and pulled out one set of five simple beaded bracelets on elastic, black and basic, and tossed it to the first student, then went and tossed a set to the others as she continued, "if one of your classmates manages to touch you--don't make it intrusive or creepy, just a small tap on the shoulder or something like that--and says 'Tag,' then you have to foreit one of the bracelets to them. At the end of the week, on Friday, whoever comes to me with the most bracelets wins. What does that mean? You'll have to wait and find out. Pretty simple, right? It's going to be good practice to remember to keep aware even when you're having fun and being distracted, to never let your guard down and to always seek out opportunities to tag your dumb ass classmates too busy ogling at a bunch of turtles.
"If there aren't any questions about that," she continued, pausing to see if there were, "let's get back to today's lesson."
Rosa unzipped the bag, turned it over, and sent a cascade of various different locks....door locks, car locks, pad logs, digital locks, bagels and lox (oh, so that's where her breakfast wound up)...onto the desk and onto the floor. And then she pulled out a few lock picking kits, a sleeve of bobby pins, a few wire hangers, and some pocket knives.
"You never know when you'll accidentally forget your keys or whatever and be locked out of your house, your apartment, your car, you safety deposit box....or when you'll be locked in somewhere and need to get out." Guess which happened more often, go on, guess! "And those are pretty much the only situations where this very useful skill would ever come in handy. Obviously, nothing else, but if you do get it in your little brains to practice around the island, just remember, the cops in town literally have a roster with each and every one of your names on it."
And she was getting much better about knowing which name went with what person, no matter how hard she tried not to.
"Now," she said, "a few techniques and methods, and each lock is slightly different, so it's good to try a lot of different ways..." She then launched into some demonstrations, with some different locks, different tools, as easily and matter-of-factly as someone else might be teaching mathematics or biology, and ended with a rousing and surely inspiring moment of, "And when in doubt....just smash it," which involved showing just how well the butt of a pistol can smash a lock if you hit it just right.
"There," she concluded, "now you'll never have to worry about being locked out of your house or apartment or car again, which is the only situation in which this skill will ever be used."
That emphasis was the closest thing to a wink Rosa was ever going to get. They were smart kids. They could figure it out.
"Any questions? If not, we'll spend the rest of the hour just trying different locks or tools, or sharing if you've got any other methods that I haven't already covered."
Because, hey, teachers could learn, too.
[[ ocdcoming up is up! ]]
Rosa came into the classroom that morning just a little bit late, because sometimes, you needed to make an entrance, and that entrance included holding a big black duffel bag which clunked down on the desk with a lot of clattering. And then, after that, a smaller bag, with far less clunking, more of a slight subtle clinking, if anything. Okay," she said, "today's lesson is a pretty important skill that I'm hoping you'll find actually easier with hands smaller than some of you have right now, so learning it today could be interesting when you try to utilize it in the future. Some of you might already know it," although she'd put money down that it was fewer people this year than in last year's class, "but it's always good to practice and maybe help out those of you who aren't already little bad ass delinquents. And that skill's gonna be lockpicking.
"Before we get to that, though," said Rosa, lifting up the smaller bag for a second, "we need to talk about next week. Yes, it's the school trip. Yes, it's technically a vacation, but bad ass bitches are always on, and I have an assignment for you so we're not wasting a week when we could be honing skills. You can choose not to participate, of course, and it won't affect your grade, but you'll still be judged for it. Especially since all it is is eseentially a week long game of Tag. Each of you are going to get five of these bracelets," she dug a hand into the bag and pulled out one set of five simple beaded bracelets on elastic, black and basic, and tossed it to the first student, then went and tossed a set to the others as she continued, "if one of your classmates manages to touch you--don't make it intrusive or creepy, just a small tap on the shoulder or something like that--and says 'Tag,' then you have to foreit one of the bracelets to them. At the end of the week, on Friday, whoever comes to me with the most bracelets wins. What does that mean? You'll have to wait and find out. Pretty simple, right? It's going to be good practice to remember to keep aware even when you're having fun and being distracted, to never let your guard down and to always seek out opportunities to tag your dumb ass classmates too busy ogling at a bunch of turtles.
"If there aren't any questions about that," she continued, pausing to see if there were, "let's get back to today's lesson."
Rosa unzipped the bag, turned it over, and sent a cascade of various different locks....door locks, car locks, pad logs, digital locks, bagels and lox (oh, so that's where her breakfast wound up)...onto the desk and onto the floor. And then she pulled out a few lock picking kits, a sleeve of bobby pins, a few wire hangers, and some pocket knives.
"You never know when you'll accidentally forget your keys or whatever and be locked out of your house, your apartment, your car, you safety deposit box....or when you'll be locked in somewhere and need to get out." Guess which happened more often, go on, guess! "And those are pretty much the only situations where this very useful skill would ever come in handy. Obviously, nothing else, but if you do get it in your little brains to practice around the island, just remember, the cops in town literally have a roster with each and every one of your names on it."
And she was getting much better about knowing which name went with what person, no matter how hard she tried not to.
"Now," she said, "a few techniques and methods, and each lock is slightly different, so it's good to try a lot of different ways..." She then launched into some demonstrations, with some different locks, different tools, as easily and matter-of-factly as someone else might be teaching mathematics or biology, and ended with a rousing and surely inspiring moment of, "And when in doubt....just smash it," which involved showing just how well the butt of a pistol can smash a lock if you hit it just right.
"There," she concluded, "now you'll never have to worry about being locked out of your house or apartment or car again, which is the only situation in which this skill will ever be used."
That emphasis was the closest thing to a wink Rosa was ever going to get. They were smart kids. They could figure it out.
"Any questions? If not, we'll spend the rest of the hour just trying different locks or tools, or sharing if you've got any other methods that I haven't already covered."
Because, hey, teachers could learn, too.
[[ ocd