Read the Room: Practical Self-Defense, Week 3 (9/19)

[brat_inslayage]

When students showed up this week, they'd find that the Danger Shop was programmed to look like the cleaning supplies section of a mid-sized hardware and lumber store. There were brooms and mops and buckets (including the really fancy kind with wheels and a contraption for squeezing excess water out of mops), cleaning chemicals, trash bags in various sizes, pretty much everything you might need for that impromptu out of season spring cleaning.

"So," Kennedy said as everyone filed in, "we covered some ways to get away from an attacker last week. Today we're gonna build on that a little bit, because getting away from someone who's coming after you only does so much if they're gonna keep trying to come after you."

She clicked a button on the remote in her hand, and a nondescript human-looking jerk in a ski mask materialized over by the floor wax supplies.

"So. You'll each be getting away from this guy. Take a good look at what's around you, and when it's your turn to run through the scenario, use something in this section of the store to incapacitate him and then make a break for the front doors. You don't get extra credit for being creative about it, but I am gonna be impressed if you are. Got it? Okay, first person up, let's go."

[OOC: OCD is up and class is in session!]

Practical Life Skills, 3rd Period - Thursday

[magnusrushesin]

Yes, they were back in the tavern. Yes, there were a number of very out of place vending machines. What about it? There would have been an elevator if the place had another floor.

"It's gashapon time!" Magnus said cheerfully. "That one time where class gives you something cool for doing a vending machine real, real good!"

They had weird flavored bags of chips. It wasn't that cool.

"Vending machines are simple, put money in, get food out." See, simple! "Except it doesn't always work like that."

"Sometimes the stuff gets stuck," Magnus agreed. "And you gotta punch it. Punch it real good."

"Just be care not to break your hand as well as the machine." That would be bad.

"Between two and four people die every year due to vending machine related accidents." There was a beat as Magnus considered this. "Don't know why they can't just say three, honestly."

"Maybe they have a slow year sometimes? Or they think it's not an accident?" Vending machine as a murder weapon, you heard it here first, folks.

"Let's get those murder chips!" Magnus cheered.

Library - Thursday

[mother_forker]

The books were very quiet today. Either they were in fear of Eleanor or they were planning something. Probably the latter.

So Eleanor took the opportunity to explore the library. And by "explore" it meant her going into the Librarian's office and seeing if he had any booze hidden in his desk.

She did not find booze. Nope. There was a bunch of coffee cups that had never been cleaned and if you asked Eleanor she'd swear that something was moving inside one of the cups. There were vials of something that looked blood. Was probably blood. Yeah it was probably blood.

But what made her turn her heal and bolt out of the office was the book which had a weird leather cover and... eyes. Yep. Those were eyes that followed her around the room.

"Nope! Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope!"

She found enough strength of will to find a can of Lysol, open the door to the office and spray half the can in there before slamming the door shut.

Because as any non-magic user knows, Lysol is totally a ward and deterrant for weird crap on this island.

Phys Ed, Thursday, Per 2

[arboreal_priestess]

Okay, so they had looked for the school's gymnasium. They'd looked. Other people'd had classes in the gym, right? So surely there must be one.

But Verity and Liam had opened every single door in this entire school (and, it being a castle, meant there were a lot of doors), and there was not a single gym to be found.

"Okaaaaaaaay," Verity said, once again in the Danger Shop. And casting concerned glances at the doors because Liam hadn't returned back from searching the school yet, even though class had started. "So, apparently the school gym doesn't exist. At least, not for us. So we're back in the Danger Shop."

Because this entire island was madness, that was why.

"So, today, we're going to try to play paintball," Verity announced, half her face in her hand. Because she didn't know what weird thing was going to happen, but she knew there was going to be something. "This wasn't what we originally had planned, but we're saving that for a day when we can find the gym. A gym. Any gym. Maybe just outdoors in the Preserve."

"I don't know how many of you have ever shot real guns," she continued, "but they're not at all alike. Paintball guns use compressed air to force the balls out of the muzzle. Spheres aren't exactly known for being aerodynamic, and the muzzle velocity is measured in hundreds of feet per second. In short, if we were comparing a paintball gun to a real gun in anything beyond weight and aesthetics, your best bet is to compare it to a Revolutionary War musket instead of anything modern. That being said, getting slapped with a ball of paint at eight hundred feet per second is still gonna sting like hell, so you'll all be wearing safety gear."

She nodded down at the simulated safety gear: goggles, padded vests, knee pads. Sure, they had the safeties engaged but a) the Danger Shop kept messing with things and b) this was gym class. Running around with a few extra pounds of gear was good for them.

"We've programmed - god help us - a paintball arena where there will be plenty of cover. It's a free-for-all, last person standing wins. There are tunnels to crawl through, trees and walls to climb, and plenty of places where you're going to need to run. Each person gets their own color paint, and the last person to get have fewer than five hits wins."

Once more, Verity glanced at the door, hoping Liam would show up. When he didn't, she sighed, pressed the button and...nothing.

Literally, nothing.