Humanoid Health and First Aid, Wednesday, Period 1

[deaddadsclub]

"Childbirth," Cristina said. "The miracle of life. The most wonderful time yadda yadda whatever. Personally, I don't see the attraction when it comes to tiny humans, but to each their own. Anyway, in the US we tend to encourage people to do this in a hospital, because things can go super wrong. Also the mother will poop on the table, so she might as well be somewhere where there are interns to make clean that up.

"So. You're hanging out with your very pregnant friend, coworker, or random stranger, and they go into labor. Odds are they've already got a very detailed plan for how they want this to happen, in which case, just let them take the lead. Offer to call someone for them or drive them to the hospital maybe, but otherwise? Butt out.

"On TV and in movies women will always just, like, suddenly say 'my water broke' and that's the first signal that childbirth is iminent. This is probably not going to happen in real life, but if it does, that's when it's time to bust out the supplies. Boiling water is not one of them. You'll want something to put under the laboring person for the, you know, body fluids, and somewhere comfortable for them to lie down. Wash your hands, put on surgical gloves if you've got one, and otherwise just be nice to them and tell them how great they're doing. 90% of the time the rest will take care of itself." Cristina sighed. "Which is really boring, so let's take a look at the other 10%."

"Causes of death related to childbirth include: postpartum bleeding, preeclampsia or other hypertensive disorders in the mother, postpartum infections, and obstructed labor. Pretty much all of which can be best diagnosed and treated by professionals, but this class is all about how to deal with stuff when professionals aren't around. So there's your final. Pick one or more of those conditions, and brainstorm ways you would diagnose and treat them in an emergency situation."

Nailed it! | Wednesday, 3rd period

[sharp_man]

Hannibal was smiling in a way that should probably worry people, and yet was somehow very cheerful. Or maybe because it was very cheerful, people should worry.

The mistletoe should definitely worry; he had two knives close to hand.

"Today is your final," he informed the students, in case they had somehow forgotten. "I hope you have all enjoyed the opportunity to cook some of Earth's foods and learn about what you can do to turn raw ingredients into delicious edibles. Today, you'll be starting with very raw ingredients, and transforming them into a delicacy - tête de veau. It is a traditional Christmas food in some countries."

He presented his own beautifully presented plate of delicate pieces of meat surrounded by lovely vegetables, beautiful slices of tongue surrounding the brain, garnished with greenery. "Please, enjoy mine, and then make your own."

From the calves' heads sitting at each station. They'd had the hair removed; you were welcome. They were also deboned enough you could finish the job yourself, and the tongue had been partially separated. Hannibal was being nice here.

Sort of.

Happy final!

Mad Kings & Queens: Raving Royals and How To Survive Them (Wednesday, 2nd Period)

[atreideslioness]

Class today met in the Danger Shop... which looked suspiciously like their classroom. Cushions, divans, tables at varying heights, coffee, teas, fruit, all of it.

"Over the last few weeks, I have given you some examples of rulers who have gone mad or at least mad for power," Ghanima stated once everyone had arrived. "To be honest, the best way to survive such a monarch is to quite simply keep your head down. If you don't make waves, you'll probably survive the experience. Some may call this cowardly, but it is common sense. Unless you have some way to change the status quo, your best option is to try and wait it out."

( If history teaches us anything, it is simply this: every revolution carries within it the seeds of its own destruction. And empires that rise, will one day fall. )

"Remember – sometimes a failed revolution can do just as much good as a successful one, if you play your cards right. However, is a dead revolutionary really a successful one, even if his or her cause succeeds?" Ghanima leaned back against her desk, neon eyes swirling. "I will leave that up for you to decide."