Relationships for Dummies, Monday - 2nd Period

[stickitupmyjinx]

When the students arrived for class this week, they would find their teachers engrossed in their phones. Vanessa glanced up long enough to say, “Oh, hey, so this week’s class is about--” and then she happened to glance down and exclaimed, “The server’s back up!”

"Yes, get here Rattatta number thirty," Deadpool said, intently waiting for his phone to get past the load screen. "I'm gonna name this one Rothman."

On the board there was a sloppily written: Find something to share with your partner! You know. If that helped the kids out more than the teachers currently were.

“This class is about shared interests,” Vanessa said, still without looking up from her phone. “You don’t have to like all the same things as your partner--like, I’m not a big fan of murder!--but if you have some of the same interests then you have things to talk about and do together.” You know. Like hunt cartoon animals with your phones. “So, what kind of things do you and your partner like to do together? Or what--hang on--no, it’s too far away--what kinds of things would you hope your partner would like to do with you? Not dirty. Well. Could be dirty.”

"And if any of you lil' pissants says football and don't put in an effort for her shit, you're gonna end up living the stereotype," Deadpool added. "For example, I go to strip clubs to support my boo."

Vanessa coughed pointedly, because she couldn’t exactly say ‘well, and also you get to look at tits,’ in front of the minors. “And I help Wade clean his guns! And we hunt meta for Pokemon Go together.” She brandished her phone. See? Clean wholesome fun! Just like that other stuff!

"Dratini!" Deadpool shouted, shooting up and out of the classroom before anything more could be added to the lecture. Look, you see a dragon type, you run before some other motherfucker catches it.

“Hey!” Vanessa exclaimed, racing after him.

They'd come back. Sooner or later.