The Art of Baking with Friends, Thursday

[locointhecoco]

Was that a squirrel up front to teach class today? Hahaha, don't be silly! It was Pinkie! You could tell by the fact that it was really very obviously a pink, slightly anthropomorphic pony wearing squirrel-shaped hooded coveralls with a little black nose and buck teeth.

She would absolutely refuse to acknowledge being anything other than a squirrel today, though. Pinkie got very into her costumes.

Derek was… wearing his usual outfit. Look, he was a werewolf. He didn't need to dress up for Halloween!

"We're making cupcakes," Derek said quickly. In case Pinkie was pretending to actually be a squirrel too.

Pinkie madly scribbled making cupcakes in a reporter's notebook she held in one hoof, the pen in her mouth. What? This was what squirrels did in Fandom! Well, that and drink rum, but Pinkie was ethical enough of a teacher not to do that in front of the kids. "We've got lots of spooky stuff to decorate with," she said around her pen. She flipped back through her notes and started reading: "Skulls and spiders and ghostses and tombstones and apples and devil horns and bat wings and sprinkles! Spooooooookyyyyyyyyyy sprinkles." She flipped her notebook shut with a thoughtful look. "I seem to be all out of glitter, though."

Damn you, Homecoming.

"Oh no. What will we do." Derek was not a helpful teacher here.

"Duhhh," Pinkie said. "Make up for it by being in costume." And she hopped up behind him and jammed a cheerful hat with a pair of cat ears on it onto his head. "I brought one for you just in case!"

She was the best co-teacher ever.

Derek sighed, looking up at the ceiling like he was praying for patience. While, you know, not moving to take the ears off. Because Pinkie would find something worse if he did.

Darn tootin'.

"So grab some frosting and get spookifying!" Pinkie said. "And happy hollerweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie!" One of these days she'd learn to pronounce that properly. Or not. Probably not.

The Art of Meditation and Kicking Ass [Thursday, October 30, 2014]

[sith_happened]

"Right," Anakin began. "Tomorrow is Halloween and while many of you are probably in the phase of 'I'm to cool to dress up and get free candy', my two kids are already bouncing off the walls with pre-sugar coma excitement. Today we will practice zen exercises to be ready for a doorbell ringing approximate a hundred thousand times in two hours."

Anakin smiled. "And then you can beat up a pinata and get free candy."

Mmm, candy.

Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably)

[doesdoctorstuff.livejournal.com]

On the board there were some...words...written when the students came in.

"S'pose we must be resigned; but oh Lord! how ken I? If I know'd anything whar you's goin', or how they'd sarve you! Missis says she'll try and 'deem ye, in a year or two; but Lor! nobody never comes up that goes down thar! They kills 'em! I've hearn 'em tell how dey works 'em up on dem ar plantations."

"So, we've already talked about making sure your characters don't sound the same, and make sure you use different words for them. But there's another way to make sure all your characters sound different, and it's also an easy way to shove some background diversity in there while you're doing it. Today, we're talking about eye-dialects!"

"Now these are really useful writing tools, because you can pack SO MUCH into just a sentence! With an eye-dialect, you show that your character is from somewhere different, and talks funny, and so they stand out from the rest of your cast! In fact, you can just give a bunch of your characters eye-dialects and then you don't have to spend much more time on making them special or unique! Just throw some zh's in for t's or use a v instead of an s and BAM! You've got a character that people can already just assume a lot about because they talk funny--where they come from, how smart they are, everything! And the best part is? You can just leave it there! Nothing else is needed, just some wacky misspellings and a letter substitution or two and your work as an author is done!"

And anything that made writing easier was something to be used liberally. "Now, the important thing is to make sure that your character is always speaking in dialect. You can't just have them use one or two words, oh no! You want them to be authentic, right? It doesn't matter how difficult it makes reading become--if your book is good enough, your characters will be invested!" She pointed up to the blackboard. "That quote's from a book by Harriet Beecher Stowe and shows a lot of dedication! I want to see all your writing look like that!"