Practical Mythology, 1/4/12, Period 2, [Class Session 1]

[olympian-herc.livejournal.com]

Hercules was not a man of subtlety. Despite not needing it at all this week, he had the class meet in the Danger Shop. Once the students entered, they'd find themselves in a replica of the Temple of Zeus in Olympia. A place long lost to decay and ruin in modern times, but this was all shining marble, dazzling gold, polished ivory. Classical decadence combined with the finest of architecture.

In front of the giant statue of Zeus was a series of plush cushions. In front of the cushions, at the feet of the statue, sat Hercules himself. He wore not the modern outfit of micro fibers and dragon skin armor plates. Today, it was back to the classics. The sash, the battle skirt, the long sandals with leather straps that went up to his thighs.

Once the class had gathered, he clapped his hands together and spoke in his booming, happy voice.

( Introductions, the classical way. )

[ooc: OCD coming up! Class is in session.]

Is A Cigar Just A Cigar, Wednesday, Period 3

[steel-not-glass.livejournal.com]

This was the second time Cindy had taught this class and this time it was for a much smaller group. Which meant it was fortunate she'd already been planning on changing a few things up, because treating this like a normal, full-sized lecture would just be stupid.

"Hey," she said, looking and sounding much more casual than she might otherwise have. There was only one new name on her roster this semester and only five students. Sticking to excessive formality would also be stupid. "Welcome to to Is a Cigar Just a Cigar? This is a class about symbolism, not smoking, and if any of you were horribly misled, I suggest you suck it up and enjoy the class anyway."

Okay, while she wasn't going to reuse all the material, she liked that joke.

"There are only a few of us here today, so I'm going to skip over the usual introductions; I know most of you, which means it's pretty easy to put a face to the name I didn't recognize." She gave Natalie a brief smile if she was there and continued right along. "You're all old enough that you can handle personal introductions if you don't know one another. And smart enough that if introductions aren't your style, I have every faith that you'll pick up one another's names before too many weeks have passed."

Seriously. Five students. Not hard.

"At their most basic, symbols are things that stand in for something else. They are so heavily ingrained in our cultural consciousness that when we see a particularly well-known symbol, we immediately think of what that symbol represents, paying little to no attention to what the actual object or image that we are looking at, even though most symbols have little to nothing in common with the concept it is representing. For example, in current Western culture, what is the easiest way to signal the intent to surrender?" She tapped the blackboard, where she'd drawn a flag in white chalk. "Waving a white flag. In fact, this symbol is so well-known, people needn't worry about not having a flag handy to get their meaning across. Almost anything white will serve: a sock, a pillowcase, a piece of paper, a bra. Whatever. What we have here is a series of symbols: a white shirt symbolizing a white flag symbolizing surrender. Symbols aren't stagnant or static; they change with the times and constantly evolve."

( Snipped for lecture and vulgar hand gestures! )

"Today, we've gone over two ways to be insulting towards someone with only a vague gesture; again, one that has no real relation to the sentiment expressed." Okay, so the meaning the Greeks gave the middle finger had a slight relation, but Cindy was going to let them find that out on their own if they were so inclined. "So what are some other symbols we have in our various cultures that have a very definitive meaning that is divorced from the actual physical gesture? Vulgar or innocent, whatever you feel comfortable with, and how often you've used it--or seen it used--in your own life."

Mad Kings & Queens: Raving Royals and How To Survive Them (Wednesday, 4th Period)

[atreideslioness]

Ghanima was sitting on her desk, absently eating lemon drops as she watched the students arrive. Once the last of the students arrived, her face lit up with a smile.

"Good morning," she said, her voice carrying effortlessly. “I am Lady Ghanima Atreides, and this is Mad Kings and Queens: Raving Royals and How to Survive Them. If you have not had one of my classes before, you may call me Lady Ghanima, Miss Ghanima, or Miss Atreides, whichever you are more comfortable with. The first person to call me Lady Atreides gets detention," Ghanima announced, smiling. "Lady Atreides is my grandmother, and I will not answer to it. I am much younger and prettier than Jessica."

"This is a class intended to give you a basic grounding in the history of royal insanity here on Earth, as well as providing a few tips on how to survive an unstable monarch, should you ever have the misfortune to encounter one." Ghanima hopped off her desk to wander along the rows of desks. "We will not be covering every ruler who has been termed 'mad', if we tried, it would take years rather than a single semester."

"If you have a weak constitution, this is not the class for you. We will be discussing mental illness, torture, sexuality, violence, and murder. While I do not intend to sensationalize the topics, I will not sugar coat them for you either. I will not think any less of anyone who chooses not to return next week, I prefer that you are honest with yourself about your ability to handle the subject matter."

"That said, you’ll have a syllabus next week. I probably won't pay much attention to it, as anyone from my previous classes can tell you, but I hear students like to have them. Possibly for passing notes on instead of paying attention during the lecture."

"You may think that madness is rare," Ghanima mused, drifting down the rows of seats as she spoke. "It is not. As the Roman philosopher Seneca once said, 'There is no genius free from some tincture of madness.' He was correct."

"Caligula of Rome had his father, mother and two brothers killed to become emperor. Nero had his mother and first wife killed. These two emperors were hated so much by the people that all references to them were deleted from official Roman documentation."

"The first French king, Clovis II, went mad after stealing the arm of a martyr. His great-grandson, Childeric III was known as "the idiot". The mother of Louis IX complained that he was "not sound of mind". And his younger son, Robert of Clermont went mad after being hit on the head with a sledge hammer. Then there was Charles VI, called Charles the mad, who ruled France from 1380 to 1415. At stages, he believed that he was made of glass and inserted iron rods into his clothing to prevent him from breaking."

"The Habsburg Kings of Spain descended from Queen Juana la Loca of Castile, who was mentally unstable. Her ancestors increased her inheritance by inbreeding. These incestuous marriages resulted in the mentally and physically handicapped King Carlos II of Spain, who had an enormous, misshapen head, and a chin exaggerated to almost caricature-like proportions rendering him unable to chew and barely able to speak."

"No European country was immune from the dangers of royal inbreeding. Several British kings went mad as a result of a blood disorder that causes gout and mental derangement. The most famous was Mad George III, who ruled England in the 18th Century. George was afflicted with porphyria, a maddening disease which disrupted his reign as early as 1765. Several attacks strained his grip on reality and debilitated him in the last years of his reign. He died blind, deaf and mad at Windsor Castle on 29 January 29 1820. In those years, the British Princess Caroline Mathilda married, at age 15, the deranged Christian VII of Denmark."

"Very very few of these people were stupid," Ghanima said sternly. "Inbred, yes. Perhaps challenged. However, you do not hold a throne by stupidity, but by ruthlessness, fear, and a good dose of violence. To hold that balance intact takes at least a shrewd cunning, if not a reasonable intellect."

"Now that all of that is out of the way, Miss Daenerys Targaryen?" she asked. "The office has submitted a request stating you are to be my teaching assistant."

"Now, hands up, those of you whom have already had to deal with a power-mad leader of some sort or another." The grin on her face as she took count was not exactly reassuring. "Fantastic. I will bow to tradition, and ask you to introduce yourselves to your classmates. Why don't you give us your name and the reason you signed up for this class?"

[OOC: OCD up.]

The Jamie Madrox and Jeff Murdock Fun Time Hour, Part 1, Or 'Why Did The School Board...', Wednesday

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Red drapes hung on the back wall of the classroom. A stage had been built against the back of it, made of pretty oak wood. A small puppet theater stood on a platform on the stage, and more red drapes hung on both sides of the room, a few feet away from the back wall.

It was silent. Empty. Dark.

And then, very softly, a first opening drumroll...

A line of Jamies appeared snapping their fingers in time to the music and occasionally striking a dramatic pose here nd there along the way. With a flourish of jazz hands they all then pointed at the puppet theater where two puppets who looked liked Toby Macguire and Andrew Garfield were doing battle with each other while wearing Arachnid Guy costumes without the masks.

A smooth voice rolled out of the speakers. "Arachnid Guy, Arachnid Guy, knows just how to catch the fly. Poops a web, rarely cries, never heaves just throws pies-- look out! Here comes Arachnid Guy!"

( And Now It's Time For Interpretive Dance! )

The Library | Wednesday | 1/4

[cant-be-helped.livejournal.com]

It was Dorothy's first day actually working in the library, and she could not have been more eager and excited. Before she got behind the desk, she'd quickly gathered a couple books to browse during the more quiet moments. Working in the library seemed a perfect way to be able to read as much as she wanted.

Though today, she found herself spending more time familiarizing herself with the library's layout and procedures. She didn't want to mess anything up, after all.