How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1

[nosefullofsnot.livejournal.com]

When the class had gathered, they could find Lucas leaning on his desk staring at his phone. He was speaking aloud as he typed, "this guy has wings. crazy right? lol."

After sending the image with that caption, he finally looked up. "Hey. 'Sup. I'd apologize for missing class last week, but I knew you'd be in good hands with my TA. You aren't all evil now, are you?" Lucas looked around for a moment. "Wait, that's still only funny to me. Oh well."

"Anyway, if you've learned anything so far this semester, it's that the main thing you're trying to achieve is an award. If you're a young up and comer like me, prizes at Sundance and the Toronto Film Festival for Let's Hope There's a Heaven are enough. Inside of two to three years, though, I'll need a Golden Globe or some members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association are getting a visit. With my career trajectory, I'd be happy with a Lead Actor Oscar by the time I'm 34, or a Supporting Actor before then, you know, if I want to slum it for some praise. I have my speeches all written already." And yes, they all involved him skateboarding to the stage, doing some tricks, and then swooping either the girl with the statue or the female presenter off the stage, depending on which was more attractive.

"But for your standard win, you probably want to thank God, your spouse, any kids you might acknowledge in the press, your mom but not necessarily your dad, coworkers, blah blah blah. Maybe cry. People love that crap. But don't be afraid to go off the standard script. It makes you more memorable if you ignore all those people and just make the moment be all about you. They'll love you. They'll really love you." Yes, he was implying that Sally Field was evil, just like him.

"So if you couldn't figure it out by now, you're an idiot and should start thinking about a GED because you're not getting a diploma. Get up here and give an acceptance speech. Oh!" Lucas said, snapping his fingers twice. "But before that, tell us who you're wearing. Give us some red carpet action. Then do your speech."

Being a Proper Sea Dog, Friday, Period 3

[cunningkingfish.livejournal.com]

Class met this week in the Danger Shop, on the usual simulated pirate ship.

At the start of class, there was seemingly no teacher.

Instead, a table with a cake. A cake with green icing, cut into generous slices on individual plates, enough for every student.

There was a note by said table, declaring that as an apology for the lack of class last week, there was delicious and moist cake for everyone.

But still no teacher to be seen...

[ooc: Wait for OCD, please! Open class!]

Dealing With Idiots | Friday | Period 4 (Session 13)

[prof_of_cunning]

"The first person to say anything about my ears gets to sit next to Baldrick for the entire class."

This would be punishment enough on a normal day. Today, when Baldrick waved and gave a yellow-toothed grin to the students, it was followed by, "...HICCUP!"

And a small ball of fire bounced out of his mouth towards Edmund, who leapt atop his desk in the nick of time, shooting back... only a withering glare. "Don't make me hit you with my tail again, Balders." Dignity, Dignity at all costs. He straightened up and struck a manly heroic pose atop the desk, like he'd always intended to do that.

"This is my Horatio Nelson impression; some would say the lack of pigeons crapping on my head makes it less realistic, but I'm prepared to trade verisimilitude for hygiene. I'm also not standing atop an overcompensatory granite column that, quelle surprise, is actually several feet shorter than advertised for the last two hundred years." Also, Lord Nelson didn't have raccoon ears. Probably. Given the size of his hat, who could tell. He could be wearing a rhinoceros on his head for all Edmund knew. "I do share a rather unfortunate tendency toward seasickness with the man, but one of us had the brains to avoid attempting to parlay that into an illustrious naval career."

The eyerolling would have been audible if Baldrick hadn't hiccupped over it and singed his own hand as he went to cover his mouth. Edmund jumped down from the desk without giving him more than a glance, and addressed the class from a less statuesque height.

"My point, and I do have one, is that, as some of my country's less ungrateful colonials have immortalised in obnoxiously catchy song, history is made by stupid people. Some of them become famous because of their idiocy -- I'm fairly certain Baldrick will have a place in the annals of FOR GOD'S SAKE, BALDRICK, AIM AT THE WASTEBIN! ...something. If I don't kill him first. Others seem to succeed despite it, like a certain Hanoverian prince whose inability to even button his trousers on his own could have resulted in his premature death by natural selection any number of times, but instead netted him an entire era and an ironically well-mannered sub-genre of romance novels named after him."

Edmund leaned back against the desk. "I've given you two of mine, though trust me, there's plenty more where those came from. Now tell us yours."

[OOC: OCD on ze way up, post open!]

Library [04/08]

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

Wesley was going to spend his library shift (surprise, surprise) reading today! Reading about what, you ask? Oh, who even cares. There were books and he was reading them. And occasionally laughing, though they were nonfiction and pretty dull.

[[open library, no OCD today]]

Pop Culture 101 | Friday | Period 2

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

There was a television screen set up at the front of the room today and John was sitting at his desk with the remote control. Once everyone filed in, he said, "We're going to keep it easy today. I was up all night with a crying kid and I didn't manage to put together a better lesson."

So, he clicked the television and got the movie rolling. "Today's class was going to be on sex symbols so we're going to watch a movie about one of the first recognized sex symbols, Rudolf Valentino. I thought this one would be better than Justin Bieber: Never Say Never so you may all thank me later."

He grinned and sat back to start watching the movie.

Apathy Blah, Outside a Classroom, In the Conservatory, With a Lead Pipe, It Was Totally Miss Scarlet

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

Okay, George didn't even fucking know what those weird almost cheerful creepy things were that were just wandering around the island, and she didn't care.

She went to the classroom they usually met in and she posted a sign on the door.

APATHY WHATEVER MEETING CANCELED
Because the island is all fucked up again
Like usual only this time worse
Why don't we go to school somewhere normal
This is so fucking stupid

Her helpful and informative sign posted, George ... sat down in the hallway. Because she had nothing better to do.

It wasn't Apathy Club, because she'd just canceled that. But if other people were bored and wanted to sit in the hallway hating shit, she could not exactly stop them. Right?

(in other words, george canceled the meeting and is now holding the non-meeting in the hallway.)