Ethics & Etiquette - 1st Period - 7/20

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

There was a space cleared today and a boombox. No, Deadpool wasn't planning on a Say Anything moment, mostly because he hated Peter Gabriel. Hated him so freakin' much.

"Gooood mornin' kids! I'm Deadpool--" He paused, staring at his co-teacher expectantly.

"And I'm Captain America?" Steve said, his expression suggesting he wasn't sure that was what Deadpool wanted him to say, but he was willing to run it up the flagpole.

That worked! "And together we fight crime." A beat. "Wait... no. Just teaching. I don't think we've ever had a crime fighting team up. Well, other than that one time there was time travel involved and I think you were dead then."

Steve stared at him for a moment, then said, "Right. Of course. That time."

Hey, he was used to that response! And it wasn't his fault they were both pulled from before that happened. And that it was slowly being retconed by bad writers to create a new Wolverine. He blamed Ryan Reynolds.

"Today we'll be talking about how to behave out on the dance floor. No bumpin' and grindin' like you kids do and making sure to leave room for Jesus. Which is kinda pervy if you ask me, but hey. Who am I to judge?"

Steve didn't understand what Jesus had to do with it, but, "Dancing is, of course, important to know at least the basics of in many social situations. There are so many different types of dance I'm not even going to try to list them, but they all have their place."

"Now, when asking a girl--or boy, I don't judge unless it's funny--to dance, you want to be aware of their feelings and act as politely as you can." A beat. "Just drag 'em caveman style out onto the dance floor, I say. But first say something that makes no sense like 'Nobody puts baby in the corner' even though you're a good ten years older than them. You perv. I know what you all are thinking. And it's wrong. Twisted and wrong and you're all going to go to hell for it. Especially you," Deadpool said, picking someone at random. Because it was more fun that way.

Steve didn't know what to do with that, so he did what he'd found worked best with Deadpool: ignored it. "And now, since it's kind of silly to just talk about something instead of doing it, it's time to dance."

Pushing play on the boombox, they were graced with the soothing tones of The Spice Girls.

Deadpool made a face. "Okay, I'm killin' Tasky for this."

Steve looked horrified, but not undermining his fellow teacher's plans was part of his plan for getting through this class with as much of his sanity as possible. "Everyone dance to this...music," he said faintly. "I think we have a trophy for the best dancer. Don't we?"

"I made it myself!" Fear for your safety children. Fear. It was a discoball glued to an old bowling trophy and it might give you lockjaw. And not even the cool dog Lockjaw!

Art Appreciation & Protection (Period 2, Class 3, 7/20)

[magdaofslovenia.livejournal.com]

"Welcome to the Louvre," Sophie said, smiling around the class. The Danger Shop had been re-made into the famous French museum, and Sophie stood in front of its most famous painting: the Mona Lisa. "This building has been a museum for over 200 years, since the changes made by the French Revolution took it over from the ruling family. The painting behind me is one of the most famous-- and expensive-- in the world. Leonardo Da Vinci's La Gioconda, otherwise known as the Mona Lisa. Completed over four years from 1503 to 1506, the epitome of Renaissance painting; perspective, spatial depth, chiaroscuro, color, and shadow all used to present a realistic image of both the subject and the city behind her." She smiled. "Insured in 1964 for 100 million dollars; what would be over half a billion dollars today, to account for inflation. This piece was stolen in 1911 and wasn't recovered until 1913, by the arrest of a thief who wanted it returned to Italy."

She gestured around the various galleries. "Miles of paintings, sculptures, artistic work valuable beyond price. 2000 security personnel in place. And yet? Thefts still occur. Why? Because it's simply too large. Half of these security cameras are not on all the time; there isn't the power to run them. There are literally hundreds of exits. Security guards can't watch all of the closed-circuit cameras constantly. They count on the sheer size of the place, and the uncertainty of the patrols, to discourage those who would steal from this museum."

"Today, I want you to find a work of art you would protect or appropriate; and talk to your classmates, and put together a crew to either steal one of these works-- possibly including the Mona Lisa -- or keep it from being stolen."

[ocd on the way! is up!]