The Various Gods & You, Monday, First Period

[ifwebeworthy]

Just one person at the front of the class today, and it wasn't the god of thunder. (Ha.) Instead, you got Don, beaming at his phone as he swiped through the pictures of tiny Thor Liliana had sent him.

When he noticed that the gang was all here, he put the phone away and said, "Good morning. Jane had to deal with a thing." He had not been apprised of what the thing was, but also considered it not his business. "So instead you get me, and I thought we could talk about whether you've ever considered what the gods were like as children. Thor turns out to have been surprisingly difficult to keep alive...or maybe I shouldn't have been surprised. Some gods were maybe never children to begin with, of course, but most of them were born in some fashion, which means they were, so...yeah. What would those tantrums look like?"

I did not have tantrums.

"I wasn't talking about you."

Sex and Sexuality, Monday

[unusual_sith]

When the students arrived to class today, they would find an entirely different teacher at the front.

"Right," Lana said. "Apparently both of your usual instructors have chickened out on this one." Or had thought the class might be more comfortable with a woman? She was betting on the former, though.

She folded her arms. "I have absolutely no idea why they chose me for this, apart from that I'm female and free at this time. Today we're talking about the female reproductive system. Specifically the one in humans." She looked at them. "You all seem to be human or near-human and at least adolescent, but I could be wrong, and unless you're comfortable enough to speak up, I won't ask. I also won't ask if anyone doesn't have a uterus or doesn't menstruate. Partly because if you're not comfortable saying it, I don't need to know, and partly because I've been asked here at little to no notice to discuss this one thing, and if there's anything else, you can spring it on your instructors."

Look, she had never had to give "the puberty talk" to anyone yet, and she had been perfectly fine with that.

"So." She proceeded to go into a detailed and matter-of-fact description of the female reproductive system.

"Any questions?"

Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

[good_for_six]

Your teachers were completely missing in action today, and a note was on the door.

Class cancelled.

Because Reasons.

And if anyone suspected reasons was code for 'concern that this time would be the time the children didn't turn back', you'd be both oddly specific and right.