Sex and Sexuality, Monday

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

When the students came in, they would be treated to the sight of their two instructors standing at the front of the class, one nattily dressed and smiling affably, and the other dressed stiffly professorily and scowling.

The scowling one spoke up first. "Good afternoon. I am Jonathan Sims, and this class was meant to be Queer Theory, but has apparently been made into Sex and Sexuality. Which is also a valuable course! So welcome. And I don't care what the moose says, I don't need a co-teacher."

Said co-teacher shrugged, still smiling. "But I am a doctor, both medical and psychological, so clearly I can only be an asset. Welcome, everybody. I am Doctor Hannibal Lecter. Pleased to meet you all. It seems we have a fairly small class this term, so I look forward to getting to know you."

"The first class traditionally starts with introductions," Jon broke in, "So why don't we do that? Please let us know your name and pronouns. If you feel comfortable sharing more about your own gender or sexuality, please do, but don't feel obligated."

Hannibal interrupted in turn. "As I said earlier, I am Dr. Hannibal Lecter. I use he/him pronouns, unless it's an odd weekend, in which case, I'm not fussed about them. I am pansexual and panromantic, meaning I am open to romance and/or sexual relations with any gender."

"And I am, as I said, Jonathan Sims," Jon took over. "I also use he/him pronouns. I don't tend to think in labels, but I suppose you could say that I'm panromantic and asexual. I enjoy romance with any gender, but I'm not interested in sex." If that last bit was said even more professorial and stiff than before, please forgive him; this wasn't something he generally spoke about with students.

He would have to get over that to teach this class, and Hannibal's amusement said he knew it. "If you could also share something about what you hope to gain from this class, that would be helpful." He nodded at the first student.

Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

[jedigrammarians]

The classroom looked relatively normal for one of Aphra and Isabela's classes. However, for anyone who'd been in one of their classes before (and was apparently a glutton for punishment) it looked an awful lot like they'd tried swapping clothes only to come undone at shirt sizing.

"Welcome kids to Fast Talking," Aphra, who was now wearing a bandanna, a gold coin necklace, thigh high boots, and was subtly trying to tug her tshirt hem down to cover more of her boxer-briefs, declared. "I am Captain Isabela the sexiest pirate to ever sail Fandom's waters."

"Not that that's hard," Isabela, who in addition to the shocking addition of trousers, had Aphra's helmet and goggles perched on top her her head and a vest that was never going to be able to be closed tossed over her usual shift and corset, said, not nearly quietly enough. "That Barbossa for one. I mean, I am Doctor Chelli Aphra, a dashing space archaeologist, stealing only from the most interesting tombs. Together we are going to teach you all about lying."

Aphra nodded. "When we're through, you'll be a master at recognising untruths." Something that may have been easier in some cases than others. "And telling them."

"Let's get started with introductions," Isabela added. "But you have to introduce yourself with a lie, and then your classmates will try and pick that lie apart."