So You Want to Be a Detective; Friday, First Period [03/08].

[died8yearsago]

"Oh, so you've had enough of theme parks after last week?" asked Rosa, who really could have just left that to the narrative, but nah. "Well, too bad, because the carnival's in town," she gestured to the set-up, which everyone had probably noticed by now, which had equal parts cheap seaside theme park and sketchy traveling circus vibes to it, between all the roller coasters and ramshackle rides, colorful tents and food carts and bullshit games on wagons, "and, guess what, people have been going missing. No one's been found dead yet, at least, but people are getting real nervous that it's only a matter of time, so we've got to get to the bottom of this before murder is added to the list of attractions.

"So," she said, "use some of the skills you've been honing in this class to see what you can root out, if you can figure out what's going on before it's too late. So far, we know that it's both guests and employees, and even animals from the petting zoo and shows, that have been disappearing, including the guy who usually runs the place, so his assistant had been mostly in charge. But they're a tight-knit group at this park and don't like to spill the beans to outsiders. Right now, their main concern is protecting their star performer, because they're worried she's going to disappear before her big show tomorrow night, which is why they've brought in investigators to handle it. But that's all we got at the the moment. So, you know." She gestured vaguely. "Do your thing. Detect."

Beaker, No/ Beaker, Yes!, Friday, March 8, 2024

[meepmeepmeep]

“Hello, students!” Sam boomed out. “I trust all of you have recovered from your vacation week. Spontaneously appearing amusement parks! I have never heard of such a thing!”

The Muppet Show didn’t have that kind of budget!

"Meep meep meep meep meep!" Beaker wanted you to know that he was not at all responsible for that crash. Probably. As far as he knew.

“Did you take advantage of the situation, Beaker?” Sam demanded. Had there been excess fireworks? More fires than would have been expected? “I, of course, wisely chose to stay here.”

"Meep meep meep," Beaker said with a shifty look on his face. "Meep meep."

“In light of recent events,” Sam continued with a very disapproving glare, “today we shall be discussing insurance! Perhaps if you had travel insurance you could have returned here! Or had your vacations refunded!” Sam did so love to get money back. “Travel insurance is, naturally, not the only important sort! There is renter’s insurance for those of you who do not own homes! Health insurance for medical care!” Because Sam was the sort of American eagle who thought that socialized medicine was, well, socialism. “Auto insurance! Homeowner’s insurance! Flood insurance! Fire! Life! There are so many insurances and they are all important!”

Right! Beaker was very interested in hearing all about insurance and was definitely not asleep on the floor!

…ignore the snoring.

“Beaker!” Sam snapped. “Of anyone on this island you ought to be paying attention! Although it is possible that you are uninsurable at this point!” What with all the exploding.

"Meep meep meep." Yeah, he was the second thing. Completely uninsurable. He was just going with it?

Sam sighed a very heavy and world-weary sigh. “Very well. For the rest of you, let us discuss how to apply for insurance! I am sure many of you will need it!”

Beaker held up a pile of pillows that he'd gotten from somewhere. "Meep meep meep!"

Orrrrrrrrrrr you could nap!

That’s right, kids. Take a nap while the boring old bird drones on. There might not even be any fires today. Maybe.

Feeding Yourself 101, Friday Second Period

[carbsliftthespirit]

"Today's class is going to be about soup," Raiden told the students. "And also stew, which is soup, but thicker and more substantial, usually cooked for longer...semantics. For soup, you take your solids, and you put them in a liquid--usually broth or stock or water--and you boil them, and then you eat the delicious result. Sometimes you stick it in a blender first to make it smooth instead of chunky, like for tomato soup. Soup is delicious, it's nutritious, and it's easy and flexible. You can use whatever you have on hand and as long as you also use some common sense, your soup will be delicious.

"Now, most cultures around the world--if not all of 'em--have some variation on a soup or a stew, because it's a great way to stretch food and feed a bunch of people and, like I said, use what you have. Here in America, we have a lot of options, but some of the most standard you might try are chicken noodle soup, chili, vegetable soup, and tomato soup. You don't even have to make these yourself if you don't want to, you can buy them already in a can to just heat up, but that gets expensive fast, plus, it's better if you make it yourself. Just sayin'. But in a pinch, nothing's wrong with a good ol' can of chicken noodle soup. What's your favorite kind of soup, or what kind of soup would you like to try making today?"