Dice and Danger! [Thurs, 2nd Period]

[wrongkindofsith]

There had been some flowers for the class, but they were presently charred and faintly smoking still. An apt metaphor for being single on Valentine's Day for some maybe!

Jane mostly just looked sad at all those nice flowers being destroyed.

"So, we're back to working on the game systems and apparently that's what happens when you roll a 1?" Which seemed harsh.

"Yes, a 1," Cara said in the tones of someone who totally hadn't gotten a nat 20 on their burning evil flowers roll. "It seems when you do that it's a terrible failure."

Jane was just trying to spread the cheer, Cara! Couldn't you accept her flowers?

"And a 20 is a resounding success." Like burning all the flowers in a spectacular way. "Which means today we'll be testing out the dice to see what our odds are of getting these."

Enjoy only getting crits on perception checks and 1's on every combat roll, folks.

"We also have quite a lot of dice," Cara added, not realising just how many dice qualified as a lot of dice in this hobby.

"Some of them light up!" Jane added. "And there's a giant set too."

Still... not as much as the hobby demanded you buy like a cruel temptress.

So You Want to Be a Detective; Friday, First Period [02/16].

[died8yearsago]

It would appear that the class was meeting in a police station again this week, only it was far less bullpen and much more booking station, so anyone with a modicum of knowledge on how police work tended to go could probably guess where this lesson was going.

"So this is something you'll probably not have to deal with much if you're on the private investigator side of things," Rosa admitted as she got class started, "though if you've got connections with the fuzz, you could still utilize these resources. But if you're going full cop, there's a good chance you might eventually have to book someone you bring in. Which means getting basic information, doing a body search, and taking finger prints and mug shots before tossing them in a cell for a bit. And today you're going to learn how to do all that and take turns practicing booking each other, just in case this sort of thing might actually be useful some day. You never know."

And, really, Rosa just wanted an excuse to make everyone take mugshots, because that's the kind of thing she found funny, and also it just didn't seem like the worst idea to have some fingerprints on file, either.

Ahem.

Feeding Yourself 101, Friday Second Period

[carbsliftthespirit]

"We're moving on from breakfast to lunch and dinner now, although remember, these are guidelines, not rules," Raiden told his students. "Have a salad for breakfast if you want to; I'm not the mealtime police. Plus, there are of course breakfast sandwiches! And fruit salads, I guess...anyway, today we're talking about things you assemble more than you cook: sandwiches and salads.

"Let's start with the sandwich. Now, the concept of 'bread with stuff' isn't at all new. You've got your medieval trenchers, and before that flatbreads with fillings or toppings, which also is where pizza comes from." Mmm, pizza. "But the modern sandwich, which is 'stuff between two slices of bread, traces back to the fourth earl of Sandwich, John Montagu, who would have a servant bring him meat between two slices of bread so he could eat it with one hand while playing cards. This man was a genius and a revolutionary and we all owe him a debt of gratitude.

"Some people like to argue about the definition of a sandwich and what counts as a sandwich, but I say that's between you and your god. If you think a burrito is a sandwich, sure! Why not? Wraps definitely fall under the sandwich umbrella, after all. The important thing is that it's delicious.

"A salad is mixed ingredients, usually served cold--although some salads can be warm!--with a dressing. If you're thinking that is a very broad category, you're correct! There are so many kinds of salad. The variety is nearly endless just when you're thinking about salads made with lettuce or some other type of greens, but then there's chicken salad, tuna salad, egg salad, pasta salad, potato salad...fruit salad! And those midwestern salads like ambrosia that are more of a dessert, can't forget those. Anyway, the point is, these are meals that are very customizable to your preferences, and in a lot of cases don't really involve a lot of cooking! So they're great for when you're in a hurry. Salads also have the benefit of you can make multiple servings and eat it for a few different meals, although if you're using something like mayonnaise in the dressing you'll want to be careful about how you store it." Humans had that pesky food poisoning weakness.

"Today I've provided a handwavey variety of ingredients for you to make your own sandwiches and-slash-or salads with! Follow your arrow! Make it how you want it. There will be no judgment here." Even if your sandwich was really weird.

Beaker No/Beaker Yes!, Friday, February 16, 2024

[meepmeepmeep]

Class today was being held in the Danger Shop, which was looking suspiciously like the Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World. Probably because it was programmed to look like the Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World. Of course, Beaker was involved so it was likely it wasn’t exactly like the actual Hall of Presidents.

“Hello, class!” Sam boomed out. “Today we shall be learning about a very important holiday celebrated in this great country on the third Monday of every February! Presidents’ Day!”

Not a holiday celebrated with fireworks, Beaker.

Every holiday could be celebrated with fireworks if you're not a coward, Sam. Beaker had chosen to celebrate this illustrious day of presidents by dressing as everyone's favorite president: Zachary Taylor.

…it was a deep cut.

"Meep meep meep meep meep," Beaker said, possibly quoting Zachary Taylor.

“He never said that,” Sam snapped. Sam did not know this for a fact.

“Presidents’ Day is, of course, meant to celebrate two of the greatest presidents in our history! George Washington and Abraham Lincoln! The others are all fine upstanding gentlemen as well!”

Were they Sam? Were they really?

"Meep meep meep," Beaker snorted. "Meep."

That was very mean and true about one of the presidents, Beaker.

“In honor of the holiday and these wonderful leaders of our country we shall be watching the presentation in this hallowed Hall of Presidents!”

Surely nothing would go wrong or explode in here! It was a Disney attraction!

That was so weirdly optimistic of you given the entire history of this class, Sam. Cue the lights! Cue the music! The 1812 Overture was patriotic enough, right? And all of the presidents were now holding sparklers because Beaker was a helper!

He could use a helper of his own to get the cannons in before their big moment, though. Anyone? Anyone?

"Beaker no! No cannons!” Sam exclaimed. “You might hurt the presidents!”

Flinging his patriotically outfitted self at the cannons would end well! The problem would be solved!

Oh, look confetti! Well, it was a small break from fire suppressant foam until the Trump figure caught fire and started to melt…

Just another Friday in Fandom.