So You Want to Be a Detective; Friday, First Period [01/12].

[died8yearsago]

The danger shop was set up like the bullpen of a police station, one that looked suspiciously like the fourth floor of the Nine-Nine, because who the hell was going to recognize it as such anyway? Rosa was sitting, arms folded, on 'her' old desk, waiting for everyone to come in, and offering a cup filled with pens for everyone to grab one if they didn't already have one.

Which, this was a class, you idiots, why are you coming to class without a goddamn pen?

Either that, or they were just taking it to fit in or be nice, which was almost as bad.

But that was neither here nor there and mostly just a little test for Rosa's amusement. She looked at everyone gathered around, looked at the clock, and sighed. Well. Time to get to it.

"So," she said, "you want to be a detective."

Heeeey, she said the class name!

"Or," she said, giving a glance to the stupid amount of people in this room right now that already had that title, "you already are and you want an easy grade for class that doesn't matter in a school that doesn't really do grades, or you just want to pick up some good skills from one of the best damn detectives we got around here. Or maybe you just think it would be fun because you like true crime or solving mysteries, or whatever reason you took this class, here's how it's going to go, more often than not: each week, we'll have a case, you'll try and figure it out, maybe there will be some particular method or details to focus on, but right now, for our first class, our mysteries are each other.

"Now, I'm the last person to tell you the importance of knowing who you're working with; I don't even know if I could be bothered to tell you the names of my two employees, to be honest." This was false, of course, but not the point. "But I do support investigating the people you're working with. It's good practice and you can find out some really weird shit. We're not doing full on dark web deep dives today, though, just a little bullshit get-to-know-you ice breaker in lieu of the usual introductions.

"Here's what I want." She hopped off the desk and started handing out slips of paper. "Write a few facts about yourself on these papers, we're going to throw them all into a hat. Then you're going to pick a random one from the hat, and your job is to figure out who that is on the paper. We'll start you out with some light investigative work, especially since this is a very small island where we already know each other pretty well, anyway. So, take five minutes, think of something good, and then we'll get started."

Feeding Yourself 101, Friday Second Period

[carbsliftthespirit]

Raiden still wasn't sure he was cut out to be a teacher, and he definitely looked nervous, but a whole semester talking about food? How hard could it be?

"Good morning!" he exclaimed loudly and enthusiastically, once the number of people in the home ec room matched the number on his roster. "I'm Raiden, and I'll be your teacher for the semester. If you're wondering about my qualifications, I've been eating for several hundred years now, which means I first have to prepare the food, because it's not gonna cook itself." He was not mentioning any occasions on which he'd eaten something raw which really shouldn't be eaten that way, because it was always better cooked.

"I am starting out assuming you are all starting from zero, or at least zero for this time period, so first I'd like for you to correct my assumption! We'll go around the group and I'd like everyone to tell me your name, and about what you already know how to cook and what you're familiar with in a kitchen like the ones we have here." Raiden gestured to one of the stations for reference. "I'd also like to know what you like to eat, because that's the most important thing!

"This week we're going to go over your options on the island for when you don't want to cook, or if you're just not able to yet. If staying in the dorms, of course you have access to the cafeteria, but if you're living in town, don't worry, you're not gonna starve. We have a surprising number of restaurants for an island this size! Sadly the Waffle House left, but there are still some good ones out there! I've brought some handwavey options from each of them so you can try them out and get a feel for what's out there; see what you like. Go! Eat! Enjoy! Let me know if you have any questions about any of the food!"

While everyone was doing that, Raiden asked them to, "Now, please pull out your phones. If you don't have a phone yet, see me after class and we'll see what we can do about that. They're pretty critical." He passed out a packet of papers. "This is a list of the phone numbers of all the island's restaurants, along with their menus. You can call them to order food, and either pick it up at the restaurant or someone will deliver it to your door. Of course you have to pay for it, but money is a different class." He was Gluttony, not Greed. "There are also a few different apps, which are programs you can download to your phone--but it always makes me think of appetizers--for ordering food delivery. You don't have to download them now if you don't want to, but remember the names Door Dash and Uber Eats. You can also use these off the island, if you're in a compatible universe." Raiden held up his phone where everyone could see and walked them through ordering a pizza from Pizza Planet.

"Now, does anyone have any questions? Please don't hesitate to ask, and please enjoy the food! If you want to take something home for later, feel free, although let's try to avoid any fistfights over who gets the last spring roll."

Beaker No!/Beaker Yes! [Friday 1/12, 3rd Period]

[but_mostly_america]

Sam Eagle was at the front of the Danger Shop classroom looking very displeased. This expression was nearly indistinguishable from Sam’s usual expression, because Sam was made of felt.

Beaker wasn't on fire yet! He had no idea why Sam was very displeased. Maybe it was the very long legal thing that Kermit and Joe from Legal had sent? He hadn't read it.

Sam had read it. Sam had yelled a lot after reading it. “Students,” he said, “my name is Sam Eagle and I am here to teach you and prevent you from being exploded, set on fire, or otherwise maimed by my colleague.” You might not think a felt eagle could put that much disdain into the word colleague. You would be wrong.

Beaker waved and meeped. "Meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep," he said in what was clearly an imitation of Sam. "Meep meep meep meep meep."

And then he held up a firecracker. And lit it. Maybe today's class was about fire safety!

“Beaker, no! We have discussed this!” Discussed was a weird word for Sam lecturing Beaker and Beaker ignoring him but okay.

"Meep meep meep?" Beaker asked, still holding the firework. Don't worry, kids, it had a long fuse because the Rule of Funny demanded that.

The Rule of Funny also demanded that Sam produce a hilariously oversized fire extinguisher from somewhere. Despite aiming it directly at Beaker and his lit firecracker somehow Sam was now covered in foam. Somehow.

“Fireworks,” the eagle-shaped pile of foam snapped, “are never to be utilized inside and should never be given to someone irresponsible!”

"Meep meep meep," Beaker said as the firecracker--of course--exploded above them and made a happy face just before the sprinklers went off.

Sam was very good at sighing heavily despite the fact that he had no lungs. “And that is why we do not handle fireworks, students!” He was glaring at Beaker as he said it. Wetly.

"Meep meep," Beaker said, waggling his hand. That's why un-fun people and eagles don't handle fireworks! He pulled out a bag filled with more fireworks. "Meep!"

There were enough for everyone! Assuming there was anyone left in this classroom.

Library - Friday

[onlyajones]

Jo had had a really nice time back home for break and she was looking forward to her classes for the semester. As she got organised for the morning, she set about putting away the books that needed to be reshelved and then once everything was put away, she got settled at the front desk and took out a paper and pen to write a letter to her friend Deidre to write to her about her first week back at school.