OMG I Could Just PIE - Tuesday, Second Period [07/13].

[somethingwithturquoise]

Yeah, Summer didn't exactly love this whole thing where two of her students (that she knew of!) were holed and there still hadn't been that much progress (or so it felt) on figuring out exactly how or why or what to do about it, but hey, she at least could figure out remote learning pretty easily, even if she was a little stumped on how she was supposed to remotely teach a cooking class when going out for ingredients wasn't a great idea.

But, hey! At least she didn't have to worry about running out of terrible pies to teach once things did get back to normal!

If they got back to normal.

So anyone who was still around and got the link to the class session and had the technical acument to be able to actually utilize it, would find Summer at home in her kitchen (with frequent interruptions from a very loud cat who didn't seem too pleased at her sharing her time with anyone other than her right now) and at least an idea that she hoped would be fun and work well because the students remaining should all be in the dorms.

"Hey, guys! So, hopefully, everything's still okay with all of you, and today's class is going to be a little bit different because it's a little tricky to plan a recipe when I don't know what you guys currently have in the common room for ingredients. For all I know, based on my own experience, it's just a bunch of random Chinese take-out and, like, Pop-Tarts or something. Although, low-key, Pop-Tarts could make for a bomb pie if you did it right. Anyway, what I'd like you guys to do today is go ahead and congregate into a single common room. When I was there, I was on the second floor, so I'm a little biased for that one, but, hey, you girls do you. And then, I'd like you to go ahead, scope out what you've got available, and work together to try to put some kind of pie together. In the spirit of the class, the weirder and more bizarre and creative, the better, but I'm not going to mark you down for wanting to just try to make something delicious, too.

"And that's it! I'm obviously going to be here if there are any questions or you guys need guidance on how to actually make it, and I'll be making my own pie in the meantime, too, and once we've got something, we'll share how we did! Any questions before we begin?"

The Art of Battle Games - Tuesday, Third Period [07/13].

[sake_shinigami]

Interestingly enough, as far as the narrative was aware at the time of writing this, none of Shunsui's students that semester had actually been holed. Which was unfortunate for him, because that not only meant that Skywalker's email made it harder for him to just wave off his responsibility, but also it meant that he had to figure out technology, which was just....not exactly his strong suit.

People communicated with butterflies where he was from, so...

But, eventually, he figured he'd gotten it (disappointingly, because he was just about to throw in the towel and just brush the whole thing off again this week), narrowing his eyes into the camera at an extremely close angle. "Is that...it?" he was murmuring to himself, adjusting things in a way that send the visuals in a tailspin and leaving his angle somehow worse than it was before. "Is that...ya-ttaaaaa~, I think I got it...

"Hello?" Shunsui, no, tapping the camera is not going to do anything. "Is this on? Is it working? Is this....ah! There we are ♥!" Seemingly pleased enough to stick with whatever was being broadcast at that point, Shunsui's disposition shifted into his usual beamingly sleepy smile. "Konnichiwa, everyone~ ♥! Assuming this actually worked and I'm not just talking to myself, welcome to the Art of Battle Games~ ♥. Alas, despite it not being terribly safe to meet together in person, apparently it's still necessary to try to hold class, although it'll be a little difficult to teach a battle class when we can't actually battle ♥!"

How truly, truly disappointing~~!

"But, in the meantime, I suppose I can tell you a little bit about the class, since the course description may have been a little....odd." Was there something withering in his voice just then? A little disparaging? Yes, yes there absolutely was. "You see, as a shinigami, I have been trained in a very special style of fighting that involves a sword...or in my case, two swords...called a Zanpakutō..."

Here, he stepped back enough so that he could draw his two swords, one katana, one slightly smaller wakizashi, and show them off a little.

"Beauties, aren't they ♥?" he gushed with a moment of genuine adoration towards them before sheathing them again. "And they are, inextricably, tied directly to a Shinigami's soul. They are also developed through intense training and meditation, and will, eventually, gain special abilities, called shikai and bankai, that increase a Shinigami's attack power immensely. It just so happens that my Zanpakutō's shikai is based on the idea of making children's games real...and deadly."

Did it sound complicated? Confusing? Well, don't worry. It was.

"Now," Shunsui huffed slightly, "I am a dedicated pascifist; I would much rather make love, not war ♥. But," somehow one of his swords had managed to submit this for a class, "here we are anyway, with a class about fighting nonetheless." And it would require so, so much drinking from him. "A class specifically about how to turn the concept of a game into an effective battle strategy. Something that probably sounds absurd," because it was, "but you may see what I mean once we are able to meet together in person. Until then...."

He was still somehow expected to teach a class. But he'd talked enough. It was time to turn it toward whoever was able to make it to this ridiculous virtual learning class....thing.

This disparaging tone in his voice for having to teach about fighting melted away into a warmth that radiated in his lazy smile. "Let's get to know each other a little better, neh ♥? We skipped last week, so this week we can do introductions. Let me know who you are, what kind of fighting experience you may have, what you hope to get out of a fighting class, and anything else you might like to share ♥. Any volunteers to go first ♥?"

And whoever did contribute, he hoped they constributed in a very verbose, lengthly, and detailed way, because he had gotten the art of napping while making it look like he was paying attention to what other people were saying down pat.

Americana! Presented by Sam Eagle, Tuesday Period 4 [7/13]

[but_mostly_america]

Once again, Sam was behind the podium in the usual classroom. Only today he had a laptop in front of him so that he could broadcast his lecture (“lecture”) to his students, having informed them already via email that class would be held virtually today. How Sam typed with wings was a mystery. Perhaps he used voice to text.

Sam, being extremely punctual, was logged in to the class TeamsMeetZoomEx a few minutes before class was scheduled to begin. He had to be. He was the host and students would be unable to login without him joining first.

“Good morning students! I trust you have all been diligent in avoiding the extremely weird holes plaguing this already weird island! If you have not, shame on you!” Also, you were probably currently in a hole and not logged in to class at all. Minor detail.

“Today,” Sam continued, “we shall discuss the great American National Pastime, baseball!” Had Sam been wearing a ballcap bearing the Washington Nationals logo a moment ago or had it appeared because it was funny? Who could say.

“Because of the holes we are unable to meet in person to discuss baseball. Instead, I would like you all to visit the National Baseball Hall of Fame! A museum dedicated to this great American sport! Of course, you must visit virtually as we are unable to travel at this time!” Also, Muppet birds get looked at very oddly in Cooperstown and Sam should not be responsible for anyone on field trips.

“There are several online exhibits you can peruse. Please visit all of them. There may be a quiz!” There would not be a quiz. “Even if there were not a quiz, you should appreciate all the culture that can be gained from visiting this museum! It is a wholesome pursuit!” Not hole-some though, thankfully.

It was then that Sam touched something on his laptop and turned into a baseball. Well, his picture on the screen did anyway. Who knew they even had that filter? He squawked indignantly and disconnected immediately.

[flying OCD-free]

Scamming Nobles Etc., Tuesday, Fifth Period

[tellmehowstuffworks]

Yennefer swanned into the classroom a fashionable five minutes late, which should have given everyone ample time to assemble. "In my universe," she began, "men who have power and wealth are known as 'nobles,' meaning they inherited it from their fathers, who inherited it from their fathers, and so on and so forth until you get to someone, some centuries ago, who presumably did something the universe found worth rewarding other than being born to the right parents. In this universe, I am told you call these men 'businessmen.' 'Entrepreneurs.' 'Self-made men,' it being gauche to point out that such a man didn't do anything." Because anybody could pull themselves up by their boot straps with a small five million dollar no-interest loan from Daddy! "And they are usually men, although there is the occasional woman; more power to her. So. They have all the money and power. Fabulous houses, vast tracts of land and peasants to work it." Or Amazon fulfillment centers, same difference.

"I served for several decades in the court of the king of Aedirn, and what did I get for it? Nothing. He usually didn't even listen to me. Working inside the system is..." she flicked her fingers dismissively. "Forget it. So what's a girl to do? What are you to do, for that matter? You are here because, presumably, you want to lead a comfortable life or achieve some goal that would come much easier with money and/or power. So let's hear about it. What do you want? We'll start with you," she said, pointing to someone at random.