Let's Get Creative!, Monday, Period Three

[jedigrammarians]

"Today we're looking at creative truths." Or as most people called it, lying. "Because truth is all about how you interpret the facts."

Aphra tended to interpret them very creatively indeed.

"So the facts are these. There has been a terrible crime committed upon a high security facility, there are numerous empty lock boxes strewn about the place, you happen to be in the near vicinity with some extremely sturdy luggage. What happened?"

Have Portal, Will Travel; Tuesday, Fourth Period [03/23].

[somethingwithturquoise]

"Hey, guys," Summer greeted the class as per usual in the classroom, with this week's portal glowing and ready behind her already, "sorry again about the whole weird candy factory thing last week, but, I mean, come on, you have to admit it, that candy kind of made it worth it, right? Anyway, I thought this week we'd do one of those jaunts that focus on the dimensionality of it all, by going to another version of Earth that's almost exactly like this one, with a few key differences. Now, the biggest key difference of this dimension was that a popular TV series from another dimension actually managed to go its own movie, and we're going to go there and hit up the theater where I first saw it a few years back for its, like, special anniversary viewing, or whatever, but since then, through a series of events that we will not go into right now," because they were super traumatic and terrible, and, look, everyone dealt with their trauma in different ways, Summer just dealt with hers by taking whole ass classes to sites where it happened, "this dimension's Earth was also taken over by giant telepathic spiders."

You think she might have thought to lead with that.

"Don't worry, though," she assured them, "they're actually really cool and chill and there's sort of a whole symbiosis going on, or whatever, but, anyway, unless there's some questions before we go, everybody get up, and let's go watch a really dumb movie on Spider-Earth. If you're feeling bold, I highly recommend the ice cream while we're here. Sure, to help broker peace with the spiders so that they would stop creating web traps to lure humans into for consumption, the ice cream has flies in it now, but it's really not that bad, especially when you consider that this ice cream used to be the best ice cream in the multiverse."

Adulting 101- Tuesday- 2nd period

[throughaphase]

Today the Danger Shop looked a lot like a normal suburban neighborhood on a sunny spring day. Nothing like Fandom. There were houses and streets wide enough for two lanes of cars, and things like stop signs and street lights. Maybe a paperboy would wind his way over the streets and sidewalks on his bike.

"Morning, everybody," Kitty greeted them. "If you've been outside Fandom here, you probably know that how we do things when it comes to transportation is not how other places do things. Namely, cars. If you only stay on island your whole time here, you might never have to drive one of these, but since we have the Danger Shop, why not, right? You're all going to get a turn behind the wheel, and while you should definitely drive carefully, no one can get hurt."

Diplomacy, Relationships & Tactics: the Art of War [Tuesday, Period 3]

[atreideslioness]

As the students entered this week, they would see a passage on the board:

Sun Tzu said: We may distinguish six kinds of terrain, to wit:
(1) Accessible ground
(2) entangling ground
(3) temporizing ground
(4) narrow passes
(5) precipitous heights
(6) positions at a great distance from the enemy.

"Terrain. Which I am sure you are all dreadfully sick of hearing me talk about," Ghanima announced as soon as the last student was seated. "However, if you do not know where or how you stand, in any battle, you will lose. I cannot stress this enough. It doesn't matter if you're facing a troop of Sardaukar on Salusa Secundus, or trying to make dinner plans with a cranky significant other. If you cannot understand the terrain under your feet, you will find yourself on the wrong end of a metaphorical or physical blade."

"This all goes back to what we discussed that first week of class, "'Hence the saying: If you know the enemy and know yourself, your victory will not stand in doubt.' To know your soldiers, you must know yourself. You must be able to assess both the capabilities of your fighting force, and your own ability to command them in terrain before you. If you cannot give the soldiers what they need, even the most elite squad in the Empire can fall against a small handful of women and children." Not that Ghanima would know. At all.

"First, however, I want to hear how you did over the last week."

Sexual Health and Education, Tuesday, 1st Period

[spin_kick_snap]

"So, you're probably going to get a hit of this for real in a couple of weeks," Kathy said, cradling a fake baby in her arms as it fussed a bit. "Prom usually comes complete with its own bundles of rambunctious energy for a few days. But they're all generally old enough for a bit of independence. Not like infants."

The baby's fussing turned to outright crying and Kathy turned to pass it over to Dante.

"Eugh," Dante said, holding the loud thing a little... gingerly. "So yeah, this is the start of your lessons about heterosexuality and shit. Sometimes you get babies!"

He waved the baby helplessly at them.

Don't wave the baby, Dante.

Kathy tsked. "There are plenty of queer relationships that can also result in unwanted pregnancies and childcare," she reminded. "Especially on this island." Beat. "Don't wave the baby, Dante."

Setting a bad example for the class!

"Anyway, these babies that you'll be caring for over the next week need to be fed, changed, dressed, put to bed, and, as you would for any baby, never left alone." She was just going to elide over the fact that they also kept track of how often all of those things happened - especially the 'being left alone' thing. "Unfortunately, since the class is so small, you're all going to be single parents this week. That's right, each of you get your own bundle of..." She looked at the crying doll. "...Joy."

"I just wanna say Dean Skywalker started this tradition, so if you wanna complain, you can take it up with him," Dante piped up.

He was so fucking glad he wasn't getting one of these.