Badass Bitch Survival Guide; Tuesday, First Period [09/15].

[died8yearsago]

The students coming to class that day would find a sign posted on the classroom door:

GYM
Last one there is the punching bag.

Which wasn't true, she'd already pegged the most moddable punching bag, but it was still good to see who might bother to hustle. And, once they did get there, they'd find Rosa, some practice dummies, and mats on the floor. She checked her watch and, when it was time for class to start, she launched right into it.

"Alright, this week?" she said. "We're doing hand-to-hand combat and defense stuff, which is good, because if any of you screw up too bad, wouldn't you know it, you just learned how to do basic first aid last week. How convenient. I hope you all had the sense to wear clothes you can move in, but if not, we do have these fun uniforms that you know are definitely not being washed as much as anyone would like between PE classes."

And that was the unspoken additional lesson that a Badass Bitch should always be wearing something she can move in.

"Any Bad Ass Bitch should be able to defend herself against anything, and weapons are great, but you're not always going to have them or they might not always be the best choice for a situation. There are three things that you can usually have on you at all times that'll make a hand-to-hand situation swing further in your favor, and that's a knife," to which she pulled a switchblade out from behind her, let it flash open, then twirled it back in a smooth, steady movement, and when her hand came back around she displayed the next item, "brass knuckles," hand into her pocket and she pulled out a small container, "Mace. They're small, easy to get to, and can help out a lot in a difficult situation, especially knives. Good knives can go just about anywhere; five bucks to whoever manages to guess exactly how many knives I've got on me just now.

"Okay. Now. Raise your hand if you're already familiar with hand-to-hand combat."

She was never surprised or not pleased to see a few presumably hands go up at that question. ""Good. Those of you who aren't, pay attention, you're going to get the most out of this. Those of you who are, same thing. Never hurts to brush up on your basics.

"Hands are just as much weapons as knives or axes or guns, only not as much fun or as cool because nearly everyone has them. To attack, best places to hit on the body are..." And as she lifted them, she delivered a deft and precisely blow to each spot on the dummy, and, if it looked a little like a dance when she did it, well...rest assured, her ballet training was clearly going to good use now. "Eyes, nose, groin, knees, solar plexus, knees, fingers, and...my personal favorite...throat!"

"Let's say you can't get that first attack in, though, they've got the upper hand. First, protect anything they can use against you, and that's usually things they can grab onto. Long hair, baggy clothes, hoop earrings, extra appendages or weird things on you because you're not quite human"--this semester's class, with the exception of the lion, was almost disappoint in their complete humanness as far as apparances went--"can all be used against you, so don't even let them close. And then go in for a defensive move to subdue the attacker, and that's what we're learning today.

"Almanac," she quirked her chin, because she figured he made for the most...solid example for how you didn't need to be bigger than your attacker to pull these moves off, "front and center. You're going to help me demonstrate."

But there didn't seem to be a response; Wayne actually seemed to be stubbornly squinting off to the side of the gym.

"Wayne," Rosa tried again, with an expectant lift of her eyebrows, almost feeling like she was calling her dog in that moment, but still nothing.

She rolled her eyes. "Bobby Probert," she tried.

"A-yup," said Wayne, who then moved up to the front of the gym to where Rosa was wondering if anyone would notice if she demonstrated this a little harder than technically necessary.

"Right, so," Rosa continued, "I'm going to teach you all a few simple moves for getting out of some of the most basic attacks. First one: Probert, grab for my arm..."

In addition to the arm grab (and after having to put some awkward pressure on her ill-chosen punching bag and his dedication to the idea that it was impolite to attack girls), Rosa eventually got Wayne to help her out in demonstrating ways to counter a grab from behind, a choke hold, and a hair grab, explaining the motions and details as they did, all the while thinking she should have just stuck with dragging Blackstone or Tightpants into this rather than depend on a student. But then she got to explaining a few good body throws (hey, she didn't drag all these mats out here for nothing), and the reason she picked Wayne was clear, because when he hit those mats, he hit them hard, but then he just picked himself right back up again, ready for the next, with nary a wrinkle in his plaid.

"Okay," Rosa concluded, nodding to Wayne to signal that he was done and could join the others. "What I want you guys to do now is pair up and practice with each other. Those of you with experience, try to help those without. If any of you feel more comfortable having me going over it in a little more detail first, come see me, otherwise I'll be walking around and correcting all your terrible forms. Or work with several people; different body types, heights, and strength can make for solid pratice and experience. Just be careful, take your time, be aware, especially when it comes to those of you with more power and strength, natural or otherwise, and try not to actually injure anyone. I really don't want to cart anyone down to the clinic today. Got it? Any questions before we begin?

"Alright. Let's see what you've got."

Guiding the Powerful Yet Incompetent, Tuesday, Second Period

[tellmehowstuffworks]

This week, the students would find themselves in a different castle, in a throne room, with the king lounging upon the throne. "Congratulations," Yennefer said from her customary spot behind him. "You have convinced your king not to casually and blatantly steal from a subject. However, he still thinks the castle needs some...freshening up. Redecorating. Perhaps even a whole new castle! Yes, that's the ticket. A monument to his magnificence that will stand for centuries to come. Of course there will have to be a major tax hike to pay for it.

"Of course, as the person who pays attention during meetings, you know that the people are already overtaxed, and furthermore there's a drought on and there are concerns about the harvest. Now. You are probably not going to be able to get the king to lower taxes to give the peasantry a break or anything noble like that. I'll just go ahead and tell you that right now. Your job is to convince him to dial back or delay his plans. Sometimes mitigation is all you can do."

She clicked a button on the remote and the king came to life, saying, "Oooh, and in the new castle we can have a hall of enchanted mirrors."

School Assembly, Wednesday, September 15, 2020

[sith_happened]

The auditorium looked like a regular auditorium, the chairs were arranged in a normal way and Anakin was pretty sure that the chance of teddy bear maiming was extremely minimal this week! He climbed up onto the stage and strode to the rostrum. "Hello again, students, and welcome to our third week of extremely productive and life-enriching talks. This week's is brought to you by two of our esteemed business leaders from town--Beau Lionett & Yasha Nydoorin--and they are hear to discuss with you--"

He reached for the cue card the office had provided, "--Using Your Destructive Tendencies for Fun and Profit! Wait."

Too late, Anakin, here come the speakers now!

Think On Your Feet, Tuesday 3rd Period

[jedigrammarians]

Good news! There was no trap today! Because you were starting class already in a prison cell.

Aphra, who was sitting on a bench outside the cell, waved cheerfully at them. "Today we're going to discuss a very important skill for when you might be in a sticky situation, cold reading," she told them. "Now on the whole, it's easy to get people to do what you want around if you know what they want. Now sometimes, you already know that, but when you don't you can use this little skill to get them to tell you what they want and make them think you're giving to them."

After a brief overview of what cold reading techniques actually involved. "Now in a moment a guard's gonna come in here and it's your job to get them to open your cell."