Advanced Bird Haberdashery, Wednesday, period 2

[betterthanaplan]

At first glance, it might seem like the classroom today had been decorated entirely in broken tree branches and weathered logs. At least until you got too close to one of them and it opened wide, yellow eyes and an enormous mouth and yelled at you like an embarrassed teenager with a head cold.

"Hey class," Duke greeted. "Meet the potoo."

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" shrieked the bird on his desk.

"These guys are native to Central and South America, and are sort of the sloths of the bird kingdom. By which I mean they like to hang around in one place for days on end, and scream."

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

"Apparently some people find their call to be 'mournful'. And they get louder on nights with a full moon. Leading to legends about the birds being the moon's long lost love or something."

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

"We're making them bucket hats. No new rules to add yet this week," he said. "But I'm sure you all will come up with something."

Duke poked at the potoo on his desk as it went back to its uncanny log impersonation. It tried to bite his finger.

"Anyway. Have fun."

Bad Ass Bitch Life Lessons; Wednesday, First Period [03/11].].

[died8yearsago]

"Alright," said Rosa, who was already sighing when she came into the classroom, pretty much on the spot, so that she could just go in, get class over with, and then hopefulyl be done with it, so if any of the students weren't already there...they weren't going to miss much. This class was such a throw-away that sometimes even Rosa felt a little bad at how pointless it was. "Time to get back to it."

She clocked the projector like it was a jukebox, turning it on, and then looking to see what popped up:

I need a vacation.
I'm running out of things to complain about at home.

She narrowed her eyes slightly, considering it and how to BS something into a lecture out of it. Really, if anything, this class was becoming just a way for her to fine tune her bullshit.

"Okay," she decided, turning to the class. "Two things on this one. One is that it shows an incredible lack of creativity to run out of things to complain about. There's always something to complain about. The key to being a bad ass about it is knowing which things to complain about are worth your time, and also making sure that your complaints are firm, unwavering, and succinct. Get to the damn point. You're complaining, not telling a story. People will stop listening past a certain point, so make it concise. In fact, I bet half of you have already stopped listening to this right now.

"Second? Okay, I know we just got back from vacation, but that first part about needed one is a mood."

And she'd stayed extra, even! She hadn't even been back yet for more than twenty-four hours.

"So, today, we work on complaining. And how to do it in a way to be heard and taken seriously instead of just ignored and considered annoying. Feel free to complain about whatever you want, and I'll tell you how you're wrong or whether it's valid. Bonus points if you complain about the vacation, unless your complaint is that it's 'too short,' in which case I hope you die in a terrible, fiery car crash some day."

Always so lovely, that Rosa.

"Okay, who's up first?"

Sexual Education, Wednesday, March 11, 2020

[sith_happened]

"Welcome back from break," Anakin said, loading a quiz onto the touchscreen pads in front of each student. "Today you're going to take this quiz to make sure you didn't bring a communicable disease back with you. Your results, of course, will be confidential, and the clinic in town is able to assist you with taking an actual test, should such a thing be needed."

Thanks for this, Anakin.

Blood Stain Removal (And Other Practical Ways etc.), Thursday, Period 1 (3/12)

[brat_inslayage]

The Danger Shop was back to a fancy movie theater setup today, so everybody would get their own fully reclining faux-leather seat with plenty of room for popcorn and drinks and all that.

Kennedy was up front, looking extremely tired and banged up (there was still an angry red scratch down her left cheek, though it was healing just fast enough to be noticeable in five to ten minute intervals) but still in a fairly chill, upbeat mood.

"Hope everybody had a good break week," she said when the class was assembled. "I... have been in a demon dimension, which, don't ask, but I can assure you it was unexpected, and eventful, and I literally just got back an hour ago. So... movie day, yeah?"

She brought it up on the projector and hit play on the remote in her hand, and just before the lights went down and the movie started rolling (with no ads or trailers!) added, loudly, "I'm kinda hoping this'll give you a few class-related things to think about, fun factor aside, but I'm not going to be quizzing you on that, so ... enjoy."