The Ever Changing Facets of Reality, 2nd Period - Monday

[captainskullpoopl]

There was a pile of...stuff on a table. It appeared to be mostly orange and black.

"In fashion...you're in, or you're auf," Vanessa said dramatically, and then she asked Wade, "Is that right? It's been a while since I watched the show."

"I'm just here to look concerned and say 'Make it work'," Wade replied. Because of course he was. "Pretty sure none of these kids know the difference, so... Yes."

There was probably going to be plenty of cause for concern. It was a good thing Wade's mask was so expressive. "This week we're exploring Project Runway, the show where aspiring fashion designers have to make clothes!...wow, I made it sound really obvious. Anyway, your assignment for this week is to design an outfit using these, uh, 'found materials.'" They were leftover Halloween decorations. Possibly Vanessa and Wade had stolen them from people's yards.

"We want it to look chic and expensive because we don't want to make this an achievable goal at all for the ratings," Wade added, practicing his concerned look. It didn't look too different from normal, honestly.

"Yes," Vanessa agreed. "Make sure not to make it too Halloween-y." Her hand was resting on one of those plastic pumpkins for trick-or-treat candy. "Think Paris."

"Also, make it Christmas themed." How, you may ask? That was the challenge.

"Think chic Christmas party...in Paris." Vanessa clapped her hands together sharply. "Make it work, people! Oh, sorry, I stole your line."

"We can all be Tim Gunn in our hearts." A beat. "Not you, kids. Just us."

Library, Monday

[intotheout]

"Okay, so first off," Tip said, facing the crowd of books in the center of the library lobby. "We're not in England. Second, it's November 4th, not 5th. And most importantly: building a bonfire in a library is a really bad idea."

The books all rustled at her impatiently. Tip crossed her arms and stared them down.

"I really shouldn't have to explain all this to you. I know that's you in there, Fahrenheit 451. Where did you even get that mask?" She held out her hand. "Lighters and matches. Now."

She collected all their fire-making devices and put them away in the circulation desk. The books grumbled and started trundling back to the stacks, where the sun came streaming in the windows.

". . . Dammit, give me that magnifying glass, too!"

It was going to be a long day.

[open!]

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

[my_own_advocate]

"I had an adorable forensics expert on the phone this morning who scowled at me," Lucifer said, with a put-upon sigh. "Apparently I'm supposed to at least teach you lot how to 'Mirandize' people, which is to say, telling anyone you arrest what their rights are."

A long pause.

"No, I don't need a lecture on why it's important, out of fairness and basic respect for human dignity, I've heard it, I'm aware of it. It's just that memorizing some lines is dreadfully boring, which is why..."

He wandered off.

Came back three minutes later, toting an old television on wheels, and left it standing in front of the class. He hit a button. And, why, if it wasn't the bippy forensics expert he'd been talking about.

"Okay," Ella said, leaning forward conspiratorally in what was obviously a recording. "I know some of you are going to think this is boring, but it's super important, okay? You can't arrest anybody without reading them their rights. And frankly, that's a good thing, because you can't trust the Man, you know--"

"Ella, what are you doing?" a female voice called from off-screen. Did Lucifer wince? Nah. Trick of the light.

"...Now the specific language is different from state to state, but this is the basics. Write it down. Practice it in the mirror. Whatever you need to do, you just do."

She sat up, and cleared her throat.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time."

She paused, looking solemn.

And then burst out into a grin. "Ohmygod Lucifer I've always wanted to do that--"

The recording stopped abruptly.

"There you go," Lucifer said dryly. "Did you get that? If not, you can use the internet on those fancy phones of yours to find it, I'm sure."