Earth Zoology, Wednesday

[livingartifact]

The class met up in front of the Portalocity offices this week, where Jenkins waited to meet them. "Welcome back," he greeted. "So far this semester, we've met a few of Earth's smaller varieties of animal. I thought this week it might be nice for all of you to meet one of the larger ones. Which thanks to the scale of the school's hallways and classrooms, necessitates a field trip. But before we catch our . . . oddly corporate portal, I hope you will indulge me by listening to a short lecture.

"You have likely by now encountered, or at least seen photos and videos of, an Earth animal known as a 'cat'. They are generally identified by their four legs, tail, and superior attitude, and those native to this part of the world tend to be around the size to fit comfortably even in somewhat small laps. They are soft and warm, most often furry, and make a delightful rumbling noise when pleased. As such, despite their frequently cantankerous natures, many humans enjoy keeping them as companion animals. Indeed, they have evolved to be just that, having domesticated themselves — that is, made themselves suitable for human interaction — many thousands of years ago, once they realized that people were excellent at providing both food and scalp massages."

Jenkins held up a hand. "That is, that all describes the domestic cat, which is but one species of cat. There are wild varieties all over the world as well, ranging from the adorably named rusty-spotted cat of Sri Lanka and black-footed cat of southern Africa, neither of which grows to be much larger than cantaloupe melon, to the aptly named 'big cat' breeds, many of which grow to be, well, weight-wise certainly, larger than myself. Today we shall meet the very largest of these species, the tiger." The portal appeared, impeccably timed, behind him, and he held up a hand. "These animals are very lovely, but they are also extremely dangerous. Please be sure to follow any and all instructions given to you by our tour guides. I refuse to take responsibility should anyone's foolishness get them eaten."

Don't Do the Thing: Decision Making For Dummies [Tues, 3rd Period]

[jedigrammarians]

No movie today, kids, try to contain your disappointment.

"So we've covered the fact that people are dumb and cannot be relied upon to act in their own best interests insted of what they think is their own best interests and how that can go horribly worng. Today we're going to look at how to make that dumbness work for you." Aphra had such faith in her fellow sapients. It was truly touching.

"Now, the thing that comes easiest to mind is reverse psychology, which if you haven't heard of it before, is using that whole contrariness thing against people, you tell 'em not to do something and watch as they fall all over themselves to do it. So, you've got something you really want someone else to do, and you're pretty sure they're not going to cooperate? You make it seem like them doing it would be the worst thing ever, and they'll probably do it just to spite you. Only issue is if you're dealing with someone who's either too earnest or too suspicious, then they'll probably listen to you and won't do.

"One way to deal with suspicious types is to let them think they got one over on you, say you're pulling some kind of heist with a bunch of glit-biting vacuum suckers and you're pretty sure they'll backstab you for a bigger cut, but you really need those creds. You find a way to backstab them first without them even realising it. You manage to 'lose' however much of the haul you need, then let your 'team' bully you into giving up your share of what's left to cover their losses. They get to soothe their egos, you get the biggest cut of them all, it's worth a little pride.

"Anyway, today I want you to figure out amongst yourself the best way to get something you want out of someone without them realising you wanted it in the first place, then during the week try it out on someone not in the class. Or in it, if you want to try the hard mode. Though nothing skeevy, nothing illegal, nothing that's going to make anyone regret it, because I'll make sure you'll regret it."

Library, Wednesday

[era_two_triangle]

The gremlins were keeping Peridot company in the library again. They'd all found books to help them illustration the technological marvels that they wanted her to create for them, and now Peridot was peering at them speculatively, trying to figure out what good any of these items would actually be for them.

"Rocket skates? What is a 'skates?'" She went silent as the gremlin explained what it would do with them in detail, mostly involving high-speed bitey. "And you? A cannon? I can tell you from experience already that a cannon is a terrible idea."

It was going to be a long day.

[OOC: Open!]

The Cryptozoologist's Field Guide, Wednesday, Per 1

[arboreal_priestess]

From the moment the class stepped into the Danger Shop, they could probably tell it wasn't going to be a fun class. Three steps into the room, they'd find themselves in a swamp, complete with squelching, sucking mud and the stink of rotting vegetation.

"Finding and working with cryptids often means going to unpleasant places and dealing with unpleasant things," Verity said, strolling up to the class in tall waders and a thick, leather apron, carrying a big jug of dark red liquid. "Take the North American bloodworm. There are eleven species that have been positively identified and there are probably more that we just haven't discovered. Bloodworms are giant terrestrial leeches, more or less, usually one to two feet long, who burrow in the ground and only come out when they sense..." She upcapped the jug and poured the liquid on the ground. A strong coppery scent rose in the air, "their main food source, blood."

The blood spattered on the ground and less than a minute later holes started appearing in the ground and large, grayish-brown worms started tunneling up to the surface. At first glance, they were more just ugly, but Verity reached down and snagged one, picking it up to show the class its mouth--a hole with rows upon rows of oversized teeth, much like a lamprey.

"The bite of a lamprey is painful, analogous to something like a hornet sting. But they're often raised by cryptozoologists, because of a quirk in their biology makes their blood--" Verity pulled out a penknife and nicked the side of the worm, bringing purple, shimmery blood to the surface "--is a powerful attractant for most known predatory cryptids. Bloodworm breeding andfarming is a fairly profitable side job, though it's not without its own dangers. Bloodworm blood never washes off and its attractive properties can be sensed up to several miles away by the more sensitive species, like maticores, questing beasts, and--"

Verity was cut off by a loud shriek and the sound of something large stampeding through the underbrush. "--lindworms," she finished calmly.

Practical Diplomacy, Wednesday, January 31, 2018

[sith_happened]

Today's class found itself around a long boardroom table. "Today is a very important lesson," Anakin began. "How to look engaged at a meeting that someone has scheduled either too close to lunch or not far enough afterwards, so everyone is distracted and/or sleepy." He smiled. "So I'm going to put on a very, very boring holo about avoiding workplace harrassment, and your job is to not fall asleep in a noticeable way, and to be able to answer questions about the video aftewards."

Anakin turned the lights down, the fiend, and smiled. "Enjoy."