The Island Hates You (Yes, You), Thursday Period 2

[magnusrushesin]

The danger shop today was set up like a house. Just a normal house. But there was a chimney in it, so that could be considered odd. Or maybe a clue as to what the class was going to be about. Or maybe it was the Christmas tree. Or the stockings, hung with care. Or the milk and cookies left out on a table nearby.

Yeah, it was all about the holiday that should clearly be destroyed by the wonder that was Candlenights.

"So, Santa is creepy," Magnus said, glaring at the chimney a little. "I didn't know what he was until this week and I'm super concerned about all of you for allowing this to keep happening."

"Inviting strangers into your house has never been known to end well," Cara added, because, yeah, she still found it creepy too.

"And he breaks in???" It was almost like you could hear those extra question marks in the tone of his voice. It was a skill. "And watches your children while they sleep???"

"Then decides to 'reward' them based on how he judges their behaviour," Cara said. "Would you accept this any other time of the year?" (Hint, the answer to that should be no.)

Also, Magnus would be screwed! He already got killed by some omnipotent judges one time and hadn't been cool. But he didn't remember that, so it wasn't applicable. Or... was it? It wasn't. Or. Was it? No, still wasn't. "So, today we're gonna prepare you for ending this cycle once and for all," he said. "By killing Santa. And not with kindness!"

This is what you got for signing up to this class, kids, Santa murder. "And keep an eye on those reindeer too, those antlers are nasty." Also the part were they could fly.

First Aid for Fandom | Thursday, period 1

[sharp_man]

"This week," Hannibal told his class, "we're going to cover something that we are, perhaps, in the wrong time of year and hemisphere for. Nevertheless, you may eventually find it useful. Heat exhaustion occurs when the body overheats. Human bodies," he explained to Peridot the non-humans and non-scientific in the class, "have an optimal range of temperature at which they operate. Should that temperature become too high, through exposure to extreme heat, exertion, or any combination of the two, the body begins to lose its ability to function well." He shrugged.

"This may mean anything from mild heat cramps, to heat exhaustion, to potentially life-threatening heatstroke. Heat exhaustion can occur gradually or begin suddenly, particularly after working or playing in the heat, perspiring heavily, or being dehydrated. Perspiration is one mechanism the body uses to cool itself, and if that mechanism works inadequately or is unable to function, the entire thing can cease to function."

"Some of the symptoms," the less messy of which would now be demonstrated by the shop-generated Chilton, "include faintness; dizziness; nausea or vomiting; heavy sweating, particularly if the skin is cold and clammy; a weak, rapid pulse; a face that is flushed or pale; muscle cramps; headache; and weakness or fatigue. Should you suspect someone is suffering from heat exhaustion, you may wish to treat the symptoms before they become heatstroke, which can be fatal."

He demonstrated the solutions. "Move them out of the heat and into a shady or air-conditioned place. Lay them down and elevate the legs and feet slightly. Remove any tight or heavy clothing. Have them drink cool water or other beverages, so long as they contain neither alcohol nor caffeine, as those may be counterproductive. Cool them, if you can, by spraying or sponging their skin with cool water and fanning them. Should they deteriorate, particularly if they become confused, faint, or exhibit seizures, call a medical professional. Also do so if their body temperature rises above 104 degrees Fahrenheit or 40 degrees Celsius."

He pointed them at the shop-created desert city with people in it. "Find those suffering from heat exhaustion, and get them to safety. Do try not to succumb yourself."

How To Get By In A Hostile World, Thursday

[suitably_heroic]

"Part of getting by is knowing how to come prepared," Atton began. "A war's starting. The end of the world may or may not be coming. You're on a team going on a suicide mission. If you don't come with handy super powers out of the bag, how do you prepare yourself?"

He held up a bag. "And you're only human, so there's only so much you can pack," he said. He waved at the table in front of him: it held water bottles, rations, guns (sans ammo), mines, grenades, and a whole host of other moddable gadgets that were either weaponry or survival gear-related. "I want you to take a bag and fill it up with everything you think you would need if you were off to fight the bad guy, as you are now. Then walk us through what you got and why."