The Island Hates You (Yes, You), Thursday Period 2

[magnusrushesin]

This week, the danger shop was made up to look like outside the dorms. You know. For authenticity. Or because it was easy. Fifty-fifty odds there.

"So, the squirrels were a little confused on the facts this week, we think?" Magnus said, voice going up at the end like he too was questioning it all and therefore should not be blamed if they were completely wrong. "And I totally whiffed that investigation check, so this is what we're going with."

Cara probably had a better excuse than that.

Cara's excuse was that she didn't care and the squirrels' version was close enough. "Sometimes the real enemy is all of us," she said. "Not in a philosophical sense, in a people are turning into monsters and you can't actually kill them sense."

Magnus nodded along with that sagely. "I mean. You could, but it'd be really rough and people usually stay dead. Most of the time." He was lookin' at you, Barry Bluejeans. "So, we'll be working on some non-lethal fights. Which, trust me, is super hard when you're used to just going for it. One time we accidentally killed a guy and had to dump him off a cliff. It was a thing."

"Don't do that," was Cara's suggestion. "As an added bonus, the things your classmates, teachers and other townsfolk have turned into are also stronger, faster, and hardier than usual, so you'll have to get creative."

"Also, I think they have stoneskin cast on them?" Magnus said, squinting out like he could tell. "Which sucks if you like non-magical damage. So, maybe team up? Yeah, totally team up. Team work was the lesson we meant all along."

Team up to not kill your friends the murder gargoyles, a lesson they could all get behind. "Yes, that."

First Aid for Fandom | Thursday, period 1

[sharp_man]

Class was back in the Danger Shop again, though there were no bodies here this time. Yet.

( Cut for length and discussion of burns )

How To Get By In A Hostile World, Thursday

[suitably_heroic]

"Sometimes, dealing with forces more powerful than you can be as simple as playing on the weaknesses most beings share," Atton said. "Like how most people are easily distracted. For all that we like to talk and talk about what great multitaskers we are, most species aren't actually very good at paying attention to more than one thing at once."

He sat down on his desk.

"And that's how pickpockets line their pockets," he said. "You'd be surprised how easily you can distract people from one thing by presenting them with something more immediate and familiar. And no, this isn't me encouraging you all to start stealing everything in sight - though if you are hungry and out of money, feel free - but sometimes, it can be really useful to be able to shortcut the high and mighty and grab something you might need."

"Some pickpockets work in teams: you usually have a stall and a pick. The stall makes sure the mark stops, like by bumping into them-- but only somewhere where it makes sense for them to do that. Like a train car, or a crowded hallway, or a large public hall, stuff like that. Then as the mark suddenly comes to a stop, it makes sense for the pick to 'accidentally' bump into them and lift their wallet. The mark's still fixated on the stall; they won't focus on the pick until the deed has already been done. Sometimes the stall will do something else, like drop some coins, or otherwise get the mark to kneel down so the pick can do his work."

He nodded at the simulated train car in front of them. "But you can also easily work alone in an environment like that," he said. "Hide your hands under a newspaper or something, and accidentally brush past someone-- that touch is usually so expected and normal, people don't question it. Some pickpockets like to actually draw attention to people's money, like by shouting that there's a pickpocket around--" He smirked. A little. "--so people will pat the places they have their valuables, making it easier to find them. If you're a woman, or a particularly attractive guy, fish, whatever, you can also try the old 'I'm drunk and affectionate' act.

He shrugged.

"No matter what, the trick is misdirection," he said. "Which is something you have to practice. So-- half of you are going to be pickpockets today, and the other half are going to be marks. You can team up or go it alone, I don't care. Practice this stuff. If you're successful, swap roles."

He pointed at a table full of wallets. "Marks? Get your crap."