Getting to Know Your Own Backyard Two, Monday, Period 1

[uncertain_dume]

"Come on," Hera said, grinning at them, "no time to waste! We're actually taking a portal today."

She continued as they settled in. "We wanted to explore a local comet, but there are over five thousand around the place, so we did a bit of searching through the 'internet' here to find an interesting one. Halley's Comet seems to be the one most people around here are familiar with, so we wanted to head there, but right now it's way out past the solar system and wouldn't have a tail."

( Comet Day! )

Understanding American Holidays, Monday, July 24, 2017

[heroic_jawline]

The classroom smelled amaaazing today as the students arrived, and the teachers, for once, were not in some form of costume. "Welcome to Thanksgiving," Steve said. "There's pie."

So much pie.

"We didn't make it," Tony said quickly. "Purchased from the store."

It was important to say, okay?

"Thanksgiving is the holiday that we are meant to celebrate the arrival of the pilgrims in this country, though there are a few issues with that about the, uh, whole fact that people were actually here before then and a very long and ongoing history of subjugation and genocide this country committed against them--" Wow, Tony got that all out pretty quickly. "--also the night before the holiday is considered the biggest drinking day of the year somehow."

He was such a downer.

"I didn't know that," Steve said, looking a little surprised. "It makes sense, though. Thanksgiving tends to a holiday where you spend a lot of time in a room with your extended family, and sometimes people need to, um, prepare for that."

Tony nodded with all the enthusiasm of someone who had indeed needed some of that liquid courage for family gatherings. "There is too much food, a parade, and I've been told some people watch football too."

"We'll skip the football today," Steve said, "but parade watching is essential." These were two New York boys, after all. "And then we can eat turkey and potatoes and rolls and pie and more pie and go around the room and say what we're thankful for this year. That part was something my mother always made us do before we could eat."

Shockingly they were going with the healthy family tradition out of the two of them, yes.

"I am thankful for good friends," Tony said to give them an example of it.

Aww.

Steve grinned at him. "We were never allowed to repeat what other people said," he said, "or I'd say the same thing. I'm thankful for...the many ways people can stay connected now."

Most of which had been made for him by Tony.

Library, Monday

[intotheout]

The book Tip was reading during her shift today was really interesting, a neat play of the way two different people observed the same event from different angles and through different lenses, but it still had some issues.

". . . Why did she just call that guy by his name? He hasn't been introduced to her yet."

For instance, it had not been well edited.

She checked the spine of the book, and sure enough, it was done by a big publishing company instead of being self-published or even from a small press.

Really now. The book world was just getting lazy.

[looking at you, HarperCollins. Open!]

Sciencing Things Sciencily: Sciencing Harder, Monday

[whatisclocks]

"Birds are weird."

These were Philomena's first words to the class, as the little chicken roamed about and hopped onto desks and stuff. "Some say birds are secretly dinosaurs that hid and pretended to be something else so the asteroid wouldn't notice them. They say old dinosaurs were growin' bird feathers millions of years ago. But that sounds like a load of horseshit, dinosaurs look like naked goblins with giant heads, we've all seen them on the telly. Actually think there's one living in Brixton right now."

A pause.

"Or that might have been my gran," she mused. "There's just no way to tell."

She eyed the chicken again. "Anyway, birds are weird. They float in the sky, and nobody knows why," she said. "It's this unknowable, impossible thing, like they're from Hairy Pawter or somethin', some evil bird magic. Some wonder if birds might come attached with tiny strings and we just can't see 'em so good. Or maybe they're not flying at all, they're just walkin' 'round the floor with mirrors to confuse us all, the right bastards."

She'd lived with a chicken for months. She knew they were bastards.

"If you ask me, they're just flagrantly spitting in the face of science," she said, stone-faced. "So I want you all to spend today showing the birds that what they're doing is impossible and they should really be dropping out of the sky now." Beat. "By throwing things out the window."

She pointed at the window. "Grab whatever you've got," she said gravely. "Let's prove to these bastards things can't actually fly and airplanes are myths."

The chicken had pooped on her pillow that morning.

Continue Trying Not to Die, Tuesday, July 25, 2017

[sith_happened]

"So last week was too hot and the week before was too cold," Anakin said. "So I've picked the geographic center of the United States today. Welcome to Belle Fourche, South Dakota, where it's going to be 93 degrees today--or 34, depending on which thermometer you can understand. We'll...find something to do."

Oh, you poor children.