Beginning Gourmet Cooking Techniques | Friday, 3rd period

[sharp_as_knives]

When the students got to the Danger Shop, Hannibal nodded and waved them over to his counter at the front.

"So, now that you've learned about some of your tools, both ingredients and cookware - sauces. In classic Western cuisine, there are five sauces which are referred to as 'mother sauces'; this is because each of them can be used as a base for many other sauces, so once you learn them, you're well on your way to being able to make most sauces."

He had five dishes in front of him, and indicated them in turn; there were enough little spoons to go around.

( The first is... )

How to Totally Be a Spy, For Real (We Mean It) [Friday, Period 1]

[notmysupervisor.livejournal.com]

Class was certainly in for a treat today. And by "treat," of course, we mean "another life-scarring experience."

The classroom appeared to be empty, at first glance, until you noticed the lumpy pile in the corner of the room. The pile was under a few blankets, but there was a random foot or elbow sticking out here and there. Logic would dictate the two people underneath were presumably your teachers, and that the squeaky noises were Pam, sleep-farting.

Just pretend they're fully clothed under that blanket so you don't have to think about the possibility that they aren't.

Near the desk is a TV with a VCR -- no, really, and where did they find a VCR, in the year 2007? There's even a movie playing. Is it for you guys? Is it for them? Do they even realize that today is Friday?

(Spoiler alert: They don't. It was Tuesday last time they checked.)

Lies Your Other Teachers Told You [Friday, November 7, 2014]

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"Right," Josh said, "it wasn't my universe, but any time your political party gets that shellacked is just not a good time for anyone, okay? I'm here for any McConnell or Boehner jokes you have after class. Today we're going to talk about now the second and third least productive Congress in all of history in terms of major pieces of legislation passed--the 19th and 20th Congresses."

Bitter? Josh? NEVER.

"Okay, first of all, we count Congresses by elections. This one that's about to start will be the 114th Congress and will be divided into two sessions: one for each year before the House is elected again with it's completely ridiculous 90 percent retention rate. Next class we'll talk about gerrymandering because that has a lot to do with that retention rate. Anyway, according to politican scientists counting up legislation, the 19th Congress produced a whopping 4.2 pieces of legislation, and the 20th beat that with a 3.9. Comparatively, the 104th Congress, which brought us the first government shutdown under Clinton, also gave us 131.4 pieces of significant legislation, so not post offices being renamed and stuff."

He leaned back against his desk. "So what went wrong? In the 1824 presidential election, four candidates ran under the Democratic-Republican banner: war hero Andrew Jackson; Speaker of the House Henry Clay; Secretary of State John Quincy Adams and Treasury Secretary William Crawford. On Election Day, no single candidate had won a majority of the popular vote, though Jackson was first with 41.4 percent. Adams trailed with 30.9; Clay and Crawford got the rest. No candidate won a majority of electoral votes, either, though Jackson secured a plurality. This threw the election to the House of Representatives. Conveniently, Clay, who by this time was out of the race, was speaker. Clay abhorred Jackson, and when the House finally settled the election, Adams was declared the winner. Not long afterward, Adams seemed to repay the favor, appointing Clay to be Aecretary of State." Josh's eyebrows rose. "Naturally Jackson cried foul, and this was back in the day where the person with the second highest votes became Vice President, so now Jackson was working for this guy he loathed. In no time, Adams was at war with his vice president, much of his cabinet, and allies and enemies alike in both the Senate (controlled by Jackson’s supporters) and the House (initially in the hands of his supporters). But the House, which had been run for years with guile and ruthless efficiency by Clay, was without an effective leader now that Clay was off running State and almost nothing got done in the legislative branch."

Josh took a sip of coffee. "After the midterm election, the 20th Congress fell completely into the hands of Jackson’s supporters, and legislative action stopped as everyone basically worked toward getting Adams booted out of office in two years. By the spring of that year, political tensions had reached new levels. Visiting the White House, a Jackson partisan named Russell Jarvis overheard the president’s son declare that he 'ought not to show his face in this house.' Jarvis, probably encouraged by Jackson’s allies in Congress, challenged the younger Adams to a duel. When he failed to get a response, he lay in wait for Adams, who often visited Congress on behalf of his father. Accounts vary, but there is some agreement that Jarvis jumped the younger Adams in the central hall of the Capitol, trying to pull his nose, which was both the ritual prelude to a duel and hilarious. This lead to vicious electioneering in the 1828 election, which included accusations that Adams acted as a pimp for the Russian czar, or that Jackson was a murderer, his dead mother a prostitute, and his wife an adulteress."

He grinned. "Isn't history fun, kids?"