Adventures Through History, Thursday, period 2

[locointhecoco]

"Welcome, welcome," Pinkie said, greeting the students by the door as they entered. "Quick, come in, it's freezing out there!"

No. No it really, really wasn't. But then, Pinkie was wearing what looked like a giant pudding cup on her head, so she really couldn't be considered an authority.

The Danger Shop had been set up to resemble the interior of a medieval town hall, this time, with wooden galleries lining the tall stone walls, filled with what looked like colorful medieval pony serfs arranged in three sections: unicorns, behind a banner displaying an elegant unicorn profile; pegasi, behind a banner of a dramatic white pegasus on a blue field; and earth ponies, behind a banner decorated in images of a peaceful farm field all set for the planting season. As the students gathered, Pinkie handed some of them unicorn horns attached to headbands, some of them pegasus wings on backpack straps, and some of them . . . nothing at all. A gaping, old-timey costume chest was overflowing with an odd assortment of regal cloaks, Roman centurian armor, and Elizabethan collars, and Pinkie encouraged all the students to raid it before she finally got things started.

"Welcome," she said again, "to the ( Great Pony Summit! )

Childcare For Dummies [Thursday, May 17, 2012]

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

The classroom was set up with a number of soft, padded mats and pillows. Many of which smelled like play dough and apple juice, others of... less pleasant smells. Here's hoping that you grabbed one of the good pillows?

But not the one Juliet had claimed. She’d bite you if you tried to take it away. Anakin turned the lights down low. “Naptime,” he began, “because apparently it’s ‘wrong’ to shoot children with tranquilizers.”

"Yeah, who knew?" Deadpool added, ignoring the ginger child that was attempting to use his mask as a hand hold to climb... somewhere. It was possible she hadn't given that much more thought on the matter. "Jan, that's my face. I swear to god, I will sell you to the circus and take all that money to buy myself a sports car."

Jan, it seemed, did not buy that for a minute as she giggled evilly evilly, resuming her climb.

“Red one?” Juliet asked interestedly before whacking her father in the legs with her pillow. Anakin gave her a sour look. “So we’ll read a story and see if we can get these kids to sleep, then the room will generate some children of its own for you to read to.”

Children programmed by Anakin and Deadpool. Have fear, students.

Deadpool snagged the child turned monkey, holding her around the waist under his arm as he nodded. "Now, you might think it's easy to put a kid down for a nap, but you'd be wrong. So, so wrong. A kid who can't walk around is easier, mostly because babies are like cats in that they sleep, eat, poop. And then sleep some more. But then the kid gets to a point where they know what's best--"

Somewhere in there, someone was whining, "'m not tiiiiiired. I wanna play with Juliet." Whoever could it be?

"--but they're wrong because they want to pass out at any moment, so it's best to make it in an organized fashion. Preferably in a bed or on the couch instead of on top of the dog. Or in some finger paints."

“NOT TIRED, DADDY!” cried Juliet, who’d just pinged to the idea that the nap was for her, just before bolting for the door.

“Catch her!” Anakin called out.

"See, that's why I kept Jan's feet off the ground as soon as the word 'nap' hit the conversation," Deadpool said, holding a sulking limpet of a child up higher for people to see. Somehow this was going to be the least traumatizing thing about her growing up. What with the whole mutant messiah thing. "Use your Jedi powers!"

“But then they’ll never learn,” Anakin pointed out, reaching out and locking the door with the Force.

Deadpool shrugged. "I could always threaten to leave her with her grandpa and his skanky girlfriend." He was an awesome dad, thank you. "Or take away her toy swords."

"NO!"

"Yeah, you kids are gonna looooove fake parenthood today," Deadpool said with a smile that wasn't friendly at all.

Cryptozoology 101, Thursday, Period One

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

Trick was not alone in the classroom today. There was a small, dapper little man standing with him, still slightly taller than Trick himself.

"Good morning, class," he said as the students filed in. "I would like to introduce you to my friend, Mumford." Mumford smiled at them, giving the students a bashful wave. "Mumford is a kind of Fae known as a Brownie. They are the Scottish and Northern English counterpart of the Scandinavian tomte, the Slavic domovoi and the German Heinzelmännchen. Brownies and their kin are incredibly helpful and friendly, excelling at cooking, cleaning, and chores, as well as an amazing ability to find bargains and deals on everything, including the latest in haute couture. Most wealthy Fae families employ several Brownies, as both domestic staff and personal shoppers."

Mumford smiled again and added, "We try to stay out of the way. Mostly, we work at night. So quiet, they never even know we're there."

Trick nodded. "Brownies adopt houses that they then look after. They have a very well-developed sense of responsibility and, traditionally, would come out at night to watch over farm animals, reap, thresh, sow, run errands, and generally make themselves indispensable. They willingly do the work left undone by the other servants--" Mumford snorted at that, a tiny little hmph! of disdain. "--though may plague them for their idleness if it seems to be deserved."

They also didn't handle extended idleness well, as Mumford wandered away to behind Trick's desk and began compulsively tidying it up. Trick just gave a good-natured sigh and continued his lecture. "Traditionally, Brownies ate bowls of cream or best milk, and cakes or porridge smeared with honey. These days, however, they've mostly updated and eat cereal." He pulled out a box of Honey Berry Crunch, causing Mumford to run back over, making grabby hands. "They have a long and fruitful relationship with humans, one of the few Fae races to do so, throughout history."

After getting his box of Honey Berry Crunch, Mumford practically skipped over to the door of the classroom and opened it. More Brownies streamed in, one for each member of the class. "Your first assignment for our class is to live with a Brownie for a full week. They will clean your dorms, cook your meals, and go shopping for you, either for basic necessities, or something more exotic, if you prefer."

"We have a gift for retail--and we never pay," Mumford boasted, making his way over to Kenzi. The others followed suit, choosing students to go home with.

"Next Thursday, they'll accompany you back to class and we'll discuss what you've learned," Trick finished. "They'll work very hard for you, so long as you don't take them for granted."