Today on a very special episode of Jeff and Jamie's Class...

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"Good morning class," Jamie said cheerfully as the students wandered in. "Today we're going to be dealing with some... special issues. Why are they special? Well because at some point the American Broadcasting Company thought they were special and made a television show about it. Or if you watched NBC at all it was just a show called meta for Blossum."

"So these are all the things people should know how to deal with," Jeff segued neatly. "It's like... a guidebook to living! Except without explaining all the most important things, like what to say to a woman, or when to take your socks off when you're about to sleep with someone."

Jamie opened his mouth to say something until what Jeff said registered in his brain. He took a moment to boggle at his co-teacher before continuing on. "Today in class you will be assigned a situation based on one of this after school special issues. And since this is Fandom, we've updated those issues so it would be appropriate for this environment. Then you will have to work with your classmates or us in order to resolve your problem. Anything else to add Jeff?"

"Some of these scenarios might be a bit... traumatic," Jeff added. "If it gets to be too much, you're free to run out for a bathroom break."

He held up both of his thumbs. "Good luck!"

And then there were assignments:
Sam Puckett: I'm preggers with an alien baby
Dave Nelson: I've just shrunk to the size of a action figure
Cara: I'm hooked on powdered gremlin
Rilla Blythe: People judge me for eating penguins which is part of my religion
Butters Stoch: I accidentally convinced my girlfriend I'm quadriplegic.
Stacey McGill: My trousers keep falling off in embarrassing places.
Miley Stewart: I can't stop saying 'gusset' at inappropriate times.
Jeremy Darling: I'm naked. That's it.
Jace Wayland: My father is half greyhound and I keep chasing my own tail
Juliet Darling: Monkeys keep throwing asparagus at my head
Anna Korlov: When I cry it rains chocolate pudding
Hank Venture: I've become allergic to anyone who is affected by an after school special
Elphaba Thropp: Everyone judges me because I'm part camel
Jim Hawkins: Hooked on Phonics
Billy Kaplan: I constantly move like Jagger.
Sov: Smoking is cool.
Hanna Marin: Boys only find me attractive when I wear underwear on my head

Mad Kings & Queens: Raving Royals and How To Survive Them (Wednesday, 4th Period)

[atreideslioness]

"Joshua Abraham Norton, the self-proclaimed His Imperial Majesty Emperor Norton I, was a celebrated citizen of San Francisco, California, who in 1859 proclaimed himself 'Emperor of these United States' and 'Protector of Mexico,'" Ghanima said, launching right into the lecture as the last student was seated. "Born in London, Norton spent most of his early life in South Africa; he emigrated to San Francisco in 1849 after receiving a bequest of $40,000 from his father's estate. Norton initially made a living as a businessman, but he lost his fortune in a bad investment. Afterward, he disappeared for a few years, vanishing from any sort of public record."

( If sincere, his was a career of long heroic sacrifice; if an imposter, he must be ranked as one of the most extraordinary of that class who has yet lived. He left no successor. The emoluments of an unattractive throne and an empty royalty were not alluring; there was none strong enough to follow him; and finally the world was entering upon an epoch of materialism in which there is no provision for such a monarch. From that strange stage through the doors of oblivion, thus passes forever Norton I, Emperor of the United States, and Protector of Mexico. L'Empereur est mort. )

"In 1934, Norton's remains were transferred, as were all graves in the city, at the expense of the City of San Francisco to a grave site of moderate splendor at Woodlawn Cemetery, in Colma. The site is marked by a large stone inscribed "Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico."

[OOC: OCD is in the house!]

Practical Mythology, 1/25/12, Period 2, [Class Session 4]

[olympian-herc.livejournal.com]

Today the class... met in a classroom. It was odd for Hercules to do so, but he had special plans.

( Amazons! )

[ooc: OCD A-coming. Class in session! Woo!]

The Library | Wednesday | 1/25

[cant-be-helped.livejournal.com]

Dorothy settled in behind the desk in the library with her giant US history book again. She'd gotten all the way up to 1922. While it was all so fascinating and wonderful (well, not the tragic parts, those were not wonderful at all), she'd started to think maybe she should skip forward fifty years or so.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Skipping years might mean she missed something important.

Is A Cigar Just A Cigar, Wednesday, Period 3

[steel-not-glass.livejournal.com]

Yesterday, students had gotten a handwavy email telling them to spend the first 45 minutes of class looking around for symbols, either in school, the dorms, or in town.

At quarter of the hour, students could return to the classroom and find the door open and Cindy perched on her desk, drinking coffee.

"All right," she said, "let's see what you all came up with. Who found what symbols, and what do you think they mean?"