School Assembly, Friday Afternoon, The Auditorium

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

After watching the crowd gather and encouraging them to settle down long enough to listen to people talk, The Tick began to speak.

"Welcome, students and faculty, to our first assembly of the year! We'll be doing these to help impart something to our students. Give them advice, entertainment, and something worthwhile to do on a Friday afternoon!"

"Today you'll be getting advice from several speakers. They are motivational speakers, people who speak and give advice to help you better yourself! They are the tops in their individual fields, respective Everests, and this assemply is your sherpa, helping you scale that mountain to a better you!"

"Some of today's speakers are professional motivational speakers! Some are fellow students with some special advice! And one is a local business owner just looking to help out!"

"I think it's about time to let them do their jobs now. Please give the speakers your undivided attention and have some fun!"

[OOC: Each speaker will have their own thread, plus there will be a Q&A thread at the end of the post for them to ping into. Please wait to ask the speakers questions until the speakers have pinged in.

There are also a couple of general conversation threads for people who don't want to give their undivided attention. :)

Big thanks to all of the speakers!]

Comments

Before the Assembly

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

Find your seats and mingle!

Re: Before the Assembly

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Marty grabs a seat already looking bored.

Re: Before the Assembly

[drywitmartini.livejournal.com]

Hawkeye was here, as was to be expected. He was wearing his standard bright Hawaiian shirt and pants. Oddly, he was carrying an umbrella.

He took his seat and waited for the assembly to start.

Re: Before the Assembly

[connernotconnor.livejournal.com]

Conner was here, looking skeptical in the extreme, but here nonetheless.

Re: Before the Assembly

[imac-kenzie.livejournal.com]

Mac slipped into a seat to one side of the auditorium. Fandom high school assembly? Could be interesting, or weird, or more likely both actually.

Re: Before the Assembly

[ktarian-wildman.livejournal.com]

Naomi came in and found a seat, looking very happy because her mother was coming home tomorrow evening. She didn't actually mind the fact that there was an assembly because she had never been to one before.

Re: Before the Assembly

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

Tyler found a seat and sat looking skeptical.

Re: Before the Assembly

[fates_jaye]

Jaye's here. Not with popcorn, though. Gummi bears.

Re: Before the Assembly

[the-right-ray.livejournal.com]

Ray, having no classes today, wandered down and took a seat.

Re: Before the Assembly

[senor-chado.livejournal.com]

Oh, boy. Assembly. Chad grabbed a seat where he thought his headphones might go unnoticed if things got dull and unbearable.

Re: Before the Assembly

[smartestone]

Hermione hasn't actually been to an assembly like this before. Maybe it will be new and interesting. At the very least, she has a lot of homework, so maybe it will be quick.

Re: Before the Assembly

[walter-n-wires.livejournal.com]

Walter came in and took a seat. This promised to be dull.

Re: Before the Assembly

[notajar]

Door, having never been to a school before, has, not so surprisingly, never been to a school assembly before. Therefore she's in her seat actually looking interested -- if a little sleepy because it's Friday afternoon and she hasn't really discovered the wonders of coffee yet.

Re: Before the Assembly

[daemonridden.livejournal.com]

Lyra walked in to the auditorium, a bit confused. The only school-wide gatherings she'd gone to at St Sophia's were Mass. Still, she thought naively, couldn't be much different. She found a seat and prepared to play a rousing game of "the Minister's Cat" with Pan.

Re: Before the Assembly

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow made herself comfy. Normally she didn't like assemblies since they took up time that could've been spent in a classroom. But she didn't have any classes at all on Fridays so she was happy to have a chance to do something school related.

Re: Before the Assembly

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

Peter took a seat. An assembly at this school could be fun.

Speaker 1: Blair Sandburg

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"First up, we have a dedicated student who would like to talk to you about the things he does and how you too can do those things like him! Please welcome Blair Sandburg!"

Re: Speaker 1: Blair Sandburg

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Hey, everyone. I'm here to talk to you about how you can make a difference in the world around you! Have you ever seen something that really sucked? A company that tested it's product on animals? A restaurant that sold baby seal burgers? A class that focused on kill....uh...a corporation that didn't recycle?"

"When you see injustice, it's natural to want to stop it, to change it. You can do that by protesting. Protesting allows your opinion to be heard in a public forum. You can mobilize the public around you, and hopefully influence the people in power to modify their behavior. There are a lot of different ways to protest, sit-in's, marches, public nudity, flag burning. Some are more likely to get you in trouble with The Man than others. I want to talk about two forms of protesting you can do."

"Petitioning is a way for a lot of people to request someone in power to make a change. You write up a statement or request and then have people sign who agree. Angela Chase used this form of protest earlier in the year to combat the gremlin massacre. Another way you can protest is to picket. You stand in front of where you don't want people to go and try to dissuade them from going in by using signs or chanting. A lot of union workers use this type of protest and it's very effective. First of all, not a lot of people want to cross picket lines and secondly, it's very visible so usually the people in charge have to respond."

"So, the next time you face injustice, remember that you can make a change..." Blair grinned and bounced. "...through protesting!"

Speaker 2: Pip and Walter

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Next we have two students who have a special presentation for you! Please welcome Pip Bernadette and Walter Dornez!"

Re: Speaker 2: Pip and Walter

[cyclopeanmerc.livejournal.com]

Pip blinked. "Wait, what?"

Speaker 3: GOB Bluth

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Now we have a local business owner who would like to have a few words with you about how your life can change for the better without you even expecting it! Please welcome GOB Bluth!"

Re: Speaker 3: GOB Bluth

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

"Hey, kids. My name is GOB Bluth. You probably know me as the guy who runs Caritas, or the guy who coached basketball, or the greatest illusionist this town has ever seen! But I wasn't always so successful. It was only a couple years ago that my entire life was messed up. My father was in jail for light treason, my brother was a jackass, my sister was married to a gay guy who painted himself blue, my youngest brother was a one-handed weirdo, and I was blacklisted from the Alliance of Magicians, a group that I founded to blacklist other people! And I'll tell you what, that life wasn't all it was cracked up to be."

"So I packed up and moved here. Sure, I got lucky a few times. My former boss at Caritas had to leave suddenly, so I ended up with a good deal on a busy bar. I own a freaking business! And sure, when I got here, I spent a lot of money on hookers, but I don't have to do that anymore. Hell, now I have some friends! Friends who like me! Sure my family is still messed up, but they're all the way across the country. If you had told me two years ago that any other this would have happened, I would have stared you in the eye, laughed at you for telling me those lies, and brought the thunder right to your face." GOB held up a closed fist that was clearly supposed to be "the thunder."

"So what am I getting at? If things suck, do something big to change them. You can move across the country. Stop dating high schoolers. Drop out of school. Finally punch that jerk who keeps making your life miserable. Stop doing drugs. Start doing drugs. It doesn't matter, just do whatever you need to do to start a change and, if you're anything like me, everything else will fall into place without you even having to try very hard."

"Enjoy the rest of your assembly, kids."

Speaker 4: Stuart Smalley

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"And now for the first of our two special guests! This speaker has hosted his own cable access show where he tried to help people help themselves! Additionally, according to his press materials, he 'is a caring nurturer, a member of several 12-step programs, but not a licensed therapist.' Please give a warm Fandom High welcome to Stuart Smalley!"

Re: Speaker 4: Stuart Smalley

[fh_extras]

For reasons unknown, when Stuart took the stage, a full-length mirror came with him. He took a seat beside it, and completely ignored the students as he spoke to hs reflection for a moment.

"I'm going to do a terrific show today! And I'm gonna help people! Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggone it, people like me!"

He then turned his focus back to the audience with a frighteningly bright smile.

"Hello, I'm Stuart Smalley, and I'm here to reach out to all of you as much as you'll let me. Sometimes we all need little affirmations in our lives, and I try to help people with that while thinking in a really gosh-darn positive way. Sometimes we all have a little rage, and that's inappropriate! Don't let your anger come out all sideways. Just rememeber - " and here, Stuart paused as though he expected peopleto chorus the words with him, " - I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"

He smiled. "Now, who can I reach out to today?"

Speaker 5: Matt Foley

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Our final speaker today is an experienced motivational speaker, both in terms of speaking a lot and having plenty of life experiences! He's been backstage, drinking coffee for a couple of hours, and he should be ready to go! Please welcome Matt Foley to Fandom!"

Re: Speaker 5: Matt Foley

[fh_extras]

Matt got about halfway there before he started tripping over his own feet. He managed to catch himself, and shook it off (but continued to bounce a little while talking) and addressed the students.

"As your esteemed blue man said, my name is Matt Foley, and I am a motivational speaker. Now, let me tell you a little about me. I am 35 years old, thrice divorced, and I live in a van down by the river. Well, not the river here, of course, but a river. Now I know what you're all thinking. You're thinking, 'Who is this person? Why do we have to listen to him? I'm young and pretty and have my whole life in front of me.' To which I say... That's crap. That homeless bum on the street was probably just as pretty as that young man right there," he said, and pointed into the audience. "Your administrators probably thought they had they had the whole world in their hands, and look at them now! Welcome to your hell, kids! You're going to end up overweight and working just to pay alimony while your own living conditions are less than stellar!

"Now, you might be asking yourself, how do I keep myself from that fate, Matt? How do I stay a bright shining star full of hopes and dreams? Well, I'll tell you. You can't. But you can manage! And I don't mean just managing the day shift at Denny's, though a few of you might be able to strive towards that. Set personal goals for yourself. Say to yourself, 'Self, I know I'm going to live a pointless existance, so I should make it the best I can!' I know teenagers. You're still young and pretty, so quit toking on those doobies! And stop with the meaningless sex and killing off brain cells with the boozing! You'll need those brain cells to actually do something with your life. Unless you marry rich, which is less likely when you've ruined all your good looks with your hard living, and then you're left cold and ugly and alone and living in a van down by the river!

"Now you may say, Matt, we don't have a river here in this town. To which I say, SHUT YOUR FREAKIN' PIE HOLE." He held up a hand to signal the end of his speech. "Thank you for your time!"

General Audience Conversation

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

During the assembly, there is plenty of time to talk amongst yourselves. Please do so here.

Re: General Audience Conversation

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

Pippi blinks a bit when Walter and Pip's names are called (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/1040175.html?thread=57573167#t57573167), and her mouth twitches into a near smile at Pip's reaction.

This should be interesting.

Speakers Q&A

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"All of our speakers are done now. If you have any questions for them, please step up and ask!"

[OOC: Please don't ask a question of a speaker until they have pinged into this thread. Thank you.]

Re: Speakers Q&A

[bluth-illusions.livejournal.com]

GOB waited for any questions thrown his way.

Exiting

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

"Thank you all for your time! I hope everyone here learned something important today!"

OOC

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

To show that I'm done.

Re: OOC

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Stuart! Matt!! EEEEE!!!!