fandomhigh | School Assembly, Friday Afternoon, The Auditorium

After watching the crowd gather and encouraging them to settle down long enough to listen to people talk, The Tick began to speak.

"Welcome, students and faculty, to our first assembly of the year! We'll be doing these to help impart something to our students. Give them advice, entertainment, and something worthwhile to do on a Friday afternoon!"

"Today you'll be getting advice from several speakers. They are motivational speakers, people who speak and give advice to help you better yourself! They are the tops in their individual fields, respective Everests, and this assemply is your sherpa, helping you scale that mountain to a better you!"

"Some of today's speakers are professional motivational speakers! Some are fellow students with some special advice! And one is a local business owner just looking to help out!"

"I think it's about time to let them do their jobs now. Please give the speakers your undivided attention and have some fun!"

[OOC: Each speaker will have their own thread, plus there will be a Q&A thread at the end of the post for them to ping into. Please wait to ask the speakers questions until the speakers have pinged in.

There are also a couple of general conversation threads for people who don't want to give their undivided attention. :)

Big thanks to all of the speakers!]

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Walter blinked several times, glanced around to see which teachers had volunteered them, and shook his head. This just meant they were going to have to come up with something particularly interesting next time.

"You've the braid," Walter said to Pip, grabbing the shepherd's crook out of the box. "You're the princess."

"You're shorter and you're already dressed nicely," Pip said. "You be the princess."

Walter shook his head and pulled out a rough woolen vest. "You'll be up in a tower, height doesn't matter. And the long hair is obligatory, so it has to be you."

Pip started to root through the box. "Goddamn it, why is the only dress in here built for tall people?"

"Destiny," Walter answered, pulling on the vest over his waistcoat. "You can throw the glitter."

He lowered his voice and leaned toward Pip. "Next time we use the postal service."

"I see itching powder and possibly an interesting noise thing in the future," Pip whispered back as he shoved a stuffed lamb into Walter's arms.

"We'll talk more about it later." He tucked the lamb under his arm and held up the pink dress for Pip. "But first, an exciting little piece about why we don't break into teachers' offices."

Pip pulled the dress on. "Kids, everytime you break into your teacher's offices, a tall, rugged, one-eyed princess is kidnapped by an evil turtle."

"Don't forget the glitter."

More loudly, Walter announced, "Then the tall, rugged, one-eyed princess is imprisoned in a tower, where she must be rescued by the devastatingly handsome shepherd."

He even held up the stuffed lamb and made it baa.

"Unfortunately, the road is hard for the shepherd and the only way to cross it is covered in really quite amazingly large amounts of glitter," Pip said, dumping it all over Walter.

Walter blew hair and glitter out of his face and grimaced. "Which, if you don't know already, is more contagious than smallpox." He shook his head like a wet dog, sending glitter flying everywhere. It's wholly possible that people in the front row might get glittered, too.

"And harder to get rid of."

"Yes. And makes it easy for the easy turtle to track the shepherd," Pip said, reaching into the box and pulling out a very cute stuffed turtle. He started to hit Walter in the head with it.

"It's at times like these that a devastatingly handsome shepherd would be happy to have a sheep along," Walter announced in a completely, 100%, not meant to be dirty sort of way. Really.

He held up the stuffed lamb to intercept the turtle before it could hit him and began to engage in an enthusiastic lamb/turtle battle.

Pip reached into the box and pulled out a stuffed squrirel. "It is at this point that the evil squirrel wizzard helps his turtle ally!"

Walter used his lamb as a shield and rummaged in the box before standing up and announcing, "Except that the devastatingly handsome shepherd had done his homework - as should you all, boys and girls - and knew that the best way to separate the turtle from the squirrel was with a fine pair of nuts!"

He brandished a handful of acorns at the squirrel before throwing them offstage.

"Then a Tidal wave comes!" Pip shouted, pulling out a water bottle and tossing it to Walter before pulling out one of his own.

Walter caught the bottle and spun the cap off. "It was a force of nature, knowing no limits to whom it drowned."

Action followed narration, to a very wet end. That front row might be wondering if they should have brought umbrellas.

"Then, rocks fell and EVERYONE DIED!" Pip shouted, throwing the entire box into the air.

"And that, fellow students, is why you shouldn't break into your teachers' offices. It's catastrophic. Really."

Walter grinned and took a bow.

Pippi is covered in glitter and soaked.

*Thunderous applause*

"Thank you, chums! Well done!" Tick said.

Nadia applauded, giggling.

School Assembly, Friday Afternoon, The Auditorium

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