The Library is Open - 11/18

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

Methos is in a good mood again. There might well be whistling.

The salamander is not whistling. Methos occasionally addresses it by some of the suggested names, but so far it has not responded to any of them.

ETA: Shoved out by Janet, Methos pastes a sign on the door: Now accepting applications for library assistants.

Comments

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker is tense when she gets in, but not so tense that she can't cock an eyebrow at her boss. And smirk.

She gives him the traditional coffee without comment, though.

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

He takes the coffee, and toasts her with it. Then he notices her tension. "Are you okay? Is it your stomach again?"

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker blinks, surprised it's obvious, then consciously relaxes. "No, no. It's actually-- a good thing. A project I was working on goes forward tonight. I'm just worried about how it'll turn out."

[janet_fraiser]

Janet comes in, tosses her backpack behind the desk, and starts printing out application forms. "Hey," she says. "You have that sign ready?"

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

"Slave driver," Methos sighs pitifully, and goes to post it on the door.

[swerval_zero]

*A little pink kitty follows Janet in. She plans on spending her day curled up on the desk or following one of the library staff around mewing about how someone needs to e-mail her family, not that anyone understands her, and omg her parrot is going to starve to death.*

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker holds out her fingernails for Zero to sniff, and says, "Since you broke into my room? We'll break into yours later, if you want. We can get you a ... sweater, or something to sleep on, so it's familiar. Or maybe a book to read." She pauses. "Are you still able to read if you're a cat?"

LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[janet_fraiser]

Please fill them out in blue or black ink only. Include any dates you are not available to work in the library. You will be in training the remainder of this semester so that the Library gets used to you.

1. Explain the Dewey Decimal System in three words or less.

2. Complete the following phrase, "Happiness is..."

3. What number rule is Dr. Pierson's favorite rule? ETA: Please note which section and number it is, ie. IV./27. The current library assistants are easily bribed for the answer to this.

4. What do you do when someone comes in and asks to check out the Necronomicon?

5. What do you do if someone walks into Special Collections without a library card?

6. Can you actually make someone sing and dance to get their library card? What song would you choose?

7. Zombies invade the high school. Where's the first place you think of to hide out?

8. Who do you blame for the zombie stew when you're stuck cleaning the damned sludge out of the library for weeks on end?

9. Dr. Pierson has been missing for four days. Do you:
a) Run around in a panic.
b) Assume he's in Special Collections.
c) Call Dr. Cregg and the Doctor, and tell them to wake his ass up. Report him missing to the proper authorities.

10. No food or drink is allowed in the library. What is an appropriate response to someone bringing some in?
a) Kick them out immediately.
b) Accept a bribe, and make sure they don't get it on the books.
c) Confiscate the food and redistribute it only to those we like.

11. The Library runs on:
a) Caffiene
b) Snark
c) Efficiency
d) All of the Above

12. If you find a Library Assistant contract lying on the Collections Desk with no one around, what do you do?

13. If a patron attempts to report you to the librarian for improper conduct, what is the appropriate reaction?

14. Are you comfortable with the title of 'minion?'

Re: LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

at which point, we'd tell you to wake him up. sleeps like he's in a bloody coma.

Re: LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[chasingangela]

1. Order over chaos.

2. "...sleep. sex. art. love. Oh, and books too."

3. [Left blank until bribe can be offered]

4. Say, "What's a Necronomicon?," and check the card catalogue for what and where it actually is. If it's Special Collections-y, they need a teacher's note to see it and it can't leave the room.

5. Pray for his or her soul, and toss food in if they haven't made it out after three days.

6. If you can't what fun is life? And, um. I'd go with "Hard-Knock Life" or another selection from "Annie."

7. Aziraphale's bookstore. On campus? The library.

8. Isn't everything Rory Gilmore's fault?

9. C. Duh.

10. B. Also duh.

11. D.

12. Back away slowly.

13. Say, "he started it."

14. I've been called worse.

Re: LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wespryce/]

13. Grovel before his righteous fury and give him the FRELLING library card!

Re: LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

[If the Doctor were to fill out the application, it would look something like this, with scrawled handwriting in black ink...]

1. Less than logical.
2. ...a big cup of French Roast.
3. II/4. Oh, wait, that's mine.
4. Laugh in his/her/its face. 'Hell no' is also an acceptable option.
5. Wait for five days, then attempt to find out what he/she/it's become. But don't try very hard.
6. Yes. 'Maria' from The Sound of Music, and make the bastard sing the high part at the end. A strategically placed kick may be necessary for males.
7. Special Collections, natch. Just make sure you have your library card.
8. The nearest possible target.
9. D: Wait and sacrifice espressos to the Library in hopes of his safe return. Or call me.
10. C. Unless he/she/it's backwashed in it. Ew.
11. D.
12. Keep it and use it as blackmail.
13. See the answer to #4.
14. Not particularly. I prefer 'bitch', myself.

Re: LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[geoff-chaucer.livejournal.com]

*woes* *wants to be a library assistant*

Re: LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[wraithbaitjohn.livejournal.com]

Shep isn't really sure he wants the job, but since he's got time he fills out the application:

1. Explain the Dewey Decimal System in three words or less.

Where's. My.Book?

2. Complete the following phrase, "Happiness is..."

a noun

3. What number rule is Dr. Pierson's favorite rule? ETA: Please note which section and number it is, ie. IV./27. The current library assistants are easily bribed for the answer to this.

Uh... Janet?

4. What do you do when someone comes in and asks to check out the Necronomicon?

Ask them what my roommate paid them to come in and do that for him.

5. What do you do if someone walks into Special Collections without a library card?

Issue them a card? (I'm a non-confrontational sort)

6. Can you actually make someone sing and dance to get their library card? What song would you choose?

Depends on who they are. Certain people should never be allowed to sing or dance. If they could... I'm particularly fond of 'Defying Gravity' right now.

7. Zombies invade the high school. Where's the first place you think of to hide out?

Hide? Screw hiding. Hand me something lethal.

8. Who do you blame for the zombie stew when you're stuck cleaning the damned sludge out of the library for weeks on end?

McKay. But then again I've found life is much easier when I just blame him for everything.

9. Dr. Pierson has been missing for four days. Do you:
a) Run around in a panic.
b) Assume he's in Special Collections.
c) Call Dr. Cregg and the Doctor, and tell them to wake his ass up. Report him missing to the proper authorities.

Hope for a postcard? Maybe a little seashell bracelet... when he comes back.

10. No food or drink is allowed in the library. What is an appropriate response to someone bringing some in?
a) Kick them out immediately.
b) Accept a bribe, and make sure they don't get it on the books.
c) Confiscate the food and redistribute it only to those we like.

Depends on if it's something I like or not and how hungry I am.

11. The Library runs on:
a) Caffiene
b) Snark
c) Efficiency
d) All of the Above

Would that make the answer Snarcaffiency?

12. If you find a Library Assistant contract lying on the Collections Desk with no one around, what do you do?

Do I look like janitorial services? Clean up your own mess.

13. If a patron attempts to report you to the librarian for improper conduct, what is the appropriate reaction?

Depends on who I was accused of being improper with. *winks* In some cases I may make them demonstrate what exactly it was I supposedly did.

14. Are you comfortable with the title of 'minion?'

I'm USAF... I'v always been someone's beck and call boy. (And to be abundantly clear, that is not Beka's call boy!)

Re: LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[http://users.livejournal.com/susan_death_/]

1. It functions.

2. "Happiness is everything in it's place and running smoothly"

3. *Offers chocolate under the table to library assistants* Help?

4. Check first with someone who knows. Then say no, just on principle.

5. Hold a memorial service and get on with life.

6. Of course. Hmm... I think the Hedgehog Song would be appropriate, although, honestly, it should never be unless there is drunkeness involved.

7. Is there a correct answer to this question? The place where the people wiuth all the weapons are.

8. Somebody else?

9. Dr. Pierson has been missing for four days. Do you:
How about D) Don't worry, he always shows up in any case, he's tough.

10. No food or drink is allowed in the library. What is an appropriate response to someone bringing some in?
a) Kick them out immediately.
I would say A, unless the food is, itself, a bribe.

11. The Library runs on:

d) All of the Above

12. Is it a blank one, or a current library assistant's contract? Check for fine print, I suppose.

13. If the improper conduct did not occur, kick the patron out and give the librarian coffee. If it did occur (which it never would) give coffee and run.

14. Are you planning on bestowing it on me?

Re: LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

1. A necessary evil.

2. Coffee and books in the same place.

3. [Left blank until bribe can be offered]

4. You ask for a note, and when they don't have it, you politely refuse. And then if they get all bitchy with you, you snark back until they leave and magically find their very own copy.

...or so I've heard.

5. Call them on it, and boot 'em out.

6. I would generally choose an embarrassing showtune, such as "I Enjoy Being a Girl." And as for whether you actually can...well, who's stopping us?

7. Assuming I'm on campus, and not in the town/dorms, I would so go for the library.

8. Meee. Everything is myyyyyy faaaaaault The zombies. Or whoever's convenient.

9. Definitely not A. I think B and C can both be applicable here, though.

10. This depends entirely on my mood A?

11. D!

12. Keep it for posterity.

13. Politely allowing them to lodge their complaint, then telling Dr. Pierson what happened and why the patron is SO WRONG after they leave. Then, snark.

14. I could live with it.

Re: LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[notcalledlizzie.livejournal.com]

1. Three digit numberals? Shelving by numbers? Lots of numbers? Waste of time? Insanity Inducing System?

2. Happiness is an illusion which can be shattered in the blink of an eye. Or truffles, vodka and sex.

3. *offers truffles and smiles sweetly at Janet*

4. Laugh at them. Probably ask for a note from a teacher, make a big show of looking at said note and accuse them of forgery and still tell them no.

5. Make some popcorn. Remember to tell the librarian after a few days/weeks and there's a funky smell coming from that general direction...

6. Of course you can! Hmmm... "Dance: Ten, Looks: Three" from "A Chorus Line"

7. Wherever Janet and/or Charlie is/are I headed for the library last time, so most likely there again. Some place with alcohol.

8. McKay. I'm sure he's got some of the blame at least.

9. First I'd check with CJ and The Doctor the proper authorities to ensure that he wasn't with them. Then inform them.

10. If I like them, b. If not, c. Unless it's bananas or something equally disgusting. Then they're outta here.

11. 40% caffiene, 40% snark, 20% efficiency. That adds up to 100%, right?

12. Leave it! Leave it alone! But if I had to move it, I wouldn't touch it with my bare hands. Nu uh.

13. A single eyebrow raise, and a scathing look that quite clearly says "Are you usually this dumb, or is this a special act for me?"

14. Meh. Not really enthralled with it. But it's better than slave


[[I lose at html]]

[chasingangela]

Angela walks into the library carrying a gray-and-brown tabby, who doesn't look especially happy to be carried and is, in fact, expressing this with pathetic "mew. mew. MEW" noises every few steps.

She sets the cat down on the desk. "Hey, Janet. I brought Minerva by to keep Zero company."

[swerval_zero]

*blinks at the other cat, then pads over to sniff at her carefully*

//Friend?//

[janet_fraiser]

"Hey, Angela!" said Janet. "Oh, what a beautiful if cranky cat."

[carter-i-am.livejournal.com]

Sam walked into the library, waved to Janet, Parker, Zero, Angela, and Professor Pierson, and sat down at one of the tables. She was shortly surrounded by open quantum physics textbooks, diagrams, and many, many loose pages of notebook paper with equations scribbled on them.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker waved to Sam from where she was talking with Angela and Zero.

[janet_fraiser]

"Hey, Sam," said Janet, walking over. "How's it going?"

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake wanders in, looking around cautiously like he's expecting the books to attack him any second. "Parker? Are you here?"

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker turns around from where she's scowling at a scowling-back Zero, and pauses. "Gavin? Yeah. Can I help you with something?"